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My head hasn't been in it lately and I need help...

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Old 07-12-2010, 10:23 PM   #1
natalie
 
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Default My head hasn't been in it lately and I need help...

I've been stuck at the same weight for quite a while, and it's my fault. It's a mental plateau, and I don't know how to break it.

Part of the problem, actually a huge part, is that I'm starting to really like the way I look for the first time in my life. 90% of the time I wake up and have no problem picking out an outfit in the morning. If I spend the extra 15 minutes to do my makeup, I feel really pretty (and people treat me as such!!) So, this little part of me is like "well you've never felt this way before, so it's good enough!"

Another problem is that I haven't been cooking for myself as much lately. Coming up with delicious recipes and stuff made me feel like I wasn't deprived. I've quit doing that (due to laziness, business, and lack of money), and now I have to put up with my boyfriend's mom's home cooking under my nose constantly (butter, butter, and more butter.)

Also, once school got out in late may two things happened. One: I lost my routine that I had going. Two: I no longer have the motivation of seeing all the rich ridiculously thin and good looking girls that constitute my school. It sounds shallow, but seeing these chicks with perfect makeup and outfits at 8 AM motivated me to stay on track.

I'm not sure what to do. I've tried to stay on track like I used to, and I'll go 4 days and then something will come up like a birthday party or poker game, and I'll fudge it up for a day or two. It's result is me maintaining, not losing.

The desire to get to goal and be healthy is still burning strong. I haven't lost sight of my goals. I'm just not focused...

I'm open to everyone's suggestions and advice. Even criticisms, I'll suck it up. Thanks for reading...
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Last edited by oodlesofnoodles : 07-12-2010 at 10:24 PM.
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Old 07-12-2010, 10:53 PM   #2
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Oodles,

I can identify with you. After I lost 30 pounds or so I started thinking, "Wow, I look pretty good.."...

...well I have EXCELLENT news for you. THE VIEW ONLY GETS BETTER! Don't stop driving to the seashore! Why settle for hot dogs at the 7-11???? You can eat fresh seafood on the beach under a thatched roof. Your drink will even have a bright umbrella in it.

It's time to WOMAN up! You know what you want. Is all the butter or food at a poker party really worth it? The fleeting gratification of the taste of the food? Is it really worth giving up your goal?

YOU are number one. YOU are in control. YOU! YOU! YOU! Not your bf's mom, not anyone else. Why on earth are you allowing your environment to control you? Aren't you woman enough to control your environment? Aren't you worth it? ABSOLUTELY YOU ARE.
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Old 07-12-2010, 10:55 PM   #3
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thighsbegone, I LOVE that analogy about the beach! thank you--it really puts things in perspective.
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Old 07-12-2010, 11:01 PM   #4
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I'm a librarian, so here's a book recommendation: The Beck Diet Solution: Train Your Brain to Think Like a Thin Person by Judith Beck. As you can see from the subtitle, it's all about getting your head in the game. There's no diet in it, you can use the techniques with your current plan (or try a new diet to change things up a bit).

If you like the book, there's an active support group for readers of Beck's books here on 3FC. Join us!
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Old 07-12-2010, 11:27 PM   #5
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Looking at your signature, in 2 pounds you get yourself some NEW SHOES! Gosh, how I LOVE new shoes. Isn't that a little motivation?

I've been where you are. Back when I was younger I'd get down to the low 190's and I'd get me some man attention, and look pretty good and I'd quit. It was good enough...and, it was I guess, at the time. But let me tell ya honey, you think the 190' are good, the 170's are GREAT, and the 160's are FABULOUS. And don't even get me started on the 140's WOWZA.

I hope you decide not to just settle because of laziness, (your word, not mine )) You made your goal for a reason didn't you? Why not finish this project.

Last edited by Lori Bell : 07-12-2010 at 11:29 PM.
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Old 07-13-2010, 01:47 AM   #6
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I am always comparing myself to other people, but ultimately we both need to learn that they are not our measure. You are your measure, chick! You are an inspiration to me and everyone else working on their goals. And you should be an inspiration to yourself, because you have done so well. Just remember how far you've come, and I know if you really think about your accomplishments and how you've changed your life, there's no WAY you'll feel unmotivated. It gets even better.
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Old 07-13-2010, 03:49 AM   #7
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Thanks you guys.

I think I need to start planning meals. I never have, I sort of float along. It may be the time where I need to make some serious changes in my plan so I can start floating along again.

Thighsbegone - ugh you are totally right. I don't know why I'm choosing that stupid fleeting moment of happiness from whatever crap I choose to eat. I often think about that very idea before I take a bite.... Thank you! I appreciate you advice.

And lori, I totally know.... I like the way I look but I still notice little things that, if slimmer, would look and feel a lot better. I know if I was lighter running would be easier.

Gardener, I'll check that book out. That sounds like something that would be really helpful actually. I still think like a fatty lol.

How do you plan meals? I know a lot of you do, but I have no idea where to start.
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Old 07-13-2010, 08:42 AM   #8
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By gathering local grocery store flyers in a heap on the kitchen table, and looking at what's on sale. Seriously.

First & foremost, the produce.

This week, it's broccoli, eggplant, spinach, broccoli rabe, and asparagus isn't too bad. Okay, so I know I'm going to end up sauteeing some broccoli rabe on the side, I'll steam asparagus & broccoli at some point, and I'll work out something for the eggplant & spinach.

Now for the proteins. I work within a framework. I believe Dr. Oz says you should only eat protein from a four-legged animal once a week. (That's about right to me, but there's the leftover issue, so I don't always hit his target.)

My framework is that I'll try to go meatless for at least one dinner a week, ideally two. (Okay, so now I know what I'll do with that eggplant on sale -- I'll make some kind of eggplant lasagna-like thingy. I may have to look into the nonfat ricotta situation in my fridge, then. And I'll mix the ricotta with spinach.) Also, I try to eat fish twice a week. So I'll look at the fish sales. Perhaps more spinach could be used in a bed under a nice piece of cod or flounder. Now I need to check into the chicken, ground turkey or turkey sausage, pork & lean beef sales, to work out other stuff. Another thing I try to do is make a big pot of vegetable soup every week, and I like to put beans & maybe sauteed chunks of turkey sausage in that, so it's like a minestrone.

Is this way of thinking making sense to you? Back to me at the table with the flyers. By now I'm sitting there with some meals floating around in my head, and I've got a grocery list ready. And I kind of know what the week looks like in food. I will then also consider staples that I always have on hand: onions, peanut butter or almond butter, eggs & Eggbeaters, oatmeal.

Oh, and I can't forget fruit. Fruit is critical. Again, I'm looking at the flyer to see what's around. Fortunately right now we are blessed with the bounty of the stone fruits & berries, so that's pretty easy.

The other thing is, I'm always researching in the form of looking for recipes. This site is great. Kalyn's Kitchen is helpful. Or I google ingredients & see whether health-conscious recipes turn up.

But in the beginning, it pretty much starts with me looking at the grocery flyer & sort of daydreaming.
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Old 07-13-2010, 08:53 AM   #9
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A had a good friend say to me, "I could understand you wanting to have lost weight, but did you have to lose THIS much?".

Well yes I did. THIS much put me into the healthy weight category. THIS much is me at my OPTIMAL. Heck, just because I started out sooo high, that is reason for me to *settle*? Why should I settle. Sure I was *better* way before hitting goal But better was no longer an option, not when BEST is an option. No. I'M DONE SETTLING FOR SECOND BEST. It's FIRST best I was after, after all these years.

How long do you think you can go on like this without gaining, never mind losing? Get yourself back in that groove.

There are so many more rewards ahead of you, you just won't believe it. Find out who you were meant to be, once and for all.

I look forward to hearing of your progress.

Oh yes, by all means - plan, plan and than plan some more. Much easier to stay on plan when you've got one. Set yourself up for success.

Laziness? Realize that *this* is worthy of all time, effort, energy and thought put into it.
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Old 07-14-2010, 12:21 AM   #10
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Thank you Robin. That was strangely empowering lol.

And thanks saef! See, I want to start eating what's in season, and locally. I think I need to find out what's in season at a particular time, find recipes so I know what I need to buy, and go to the farmer's market and buy the right amount of those things. Because I HATE being wasteful. I guess it's mostly laziness on my part. Truth be told, now that I'm getting lower in weight, I'm starting to spend my money more on "stuff", like clothes and accessories and stuff, than groceries. I don't make much money at my job so what I do get I haven't been spending wisely.

I'm also very new to cooking. My mom couldn't cook and never taught me how to make anything except for scrambled eggs. I figured out baking on my own because I was a porker and what's better than making your OWN baked goods lol. But cooking, I'm trying to learn. I watch food network a lot now and have been learning a lot, but sometimes you guys are like "Oh, I bought this and figured it would taste REALLY good with this that I had left over, and then I threw in this and it was divine!" I'm like "uuuuuuh what?"

I'm rambling. Sorry. I'm looking up what's in season now, and I'm going to check out the sites you guys recommended. The planning will begin. Thank you all for your suggestions.
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