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I have lost more weight than him but...

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Old 07-06-2010, 02:59 PM   #1
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Angry I have lost more weight than him but...

My hubby and I are losing weight together, and I have lost 22 lbs (I weigh 226) and he has lost 18 lbs (he weighs 273). Now, granted, he lifts weights and I do not. We both run/walk and hike and bike. BUT...HE is the one that everyone notices has lost weight. Not one person when we are together has said, "gee, Chris, you've lost weight too." hehe Nobody. I figure he's probably looking slimmer because he's building muscle, so I am going to start lifting too. Ah, it's so frustrating!!!
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Old 07-06-2010, 03:07 PM   #2
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its ok i sure u have a noticable amount lost i have that probelm too my boyfriend just needs to stop drinking coke for a month and looses 10 lbs. like nothing. i been on a diet for amonth and lost 5lbs. and people dont notice that i whip my but in the gym every morning while he sleeps in. grrrrrrr dont worry i feel u. im sure u look great
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Old 07-06-2010, 03:17 PM   #3
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Thanks, loveit! My hubby says he can tell, he says I'm really losing weight, but he seems to be the only one. I can tell by the way my clothes fit, I've gone down 2 jean sizes and 1 top size. Congrats on your weight loss!
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Old 07-06-2010, 03:33 PM   #4
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It took 40 pounds AND new clothes before anyone besides DH noticed my loss. Maybe it's because we women are always curvy so it's harder to notice that the curves are shrinking?
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Old 07-06-2010, 03:33 PM   #5
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I don't understand why they would notice on him over you. You've lost more and started at a smaller size (which makes it easier to see weight changes). I know muscle can make a difference, but really? I think it's more likely this is some kind of manifestation of biases. People are more critical on girls, whether intentional or no.

I'm sure you're "showing it" too. People don't always make sense.
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Old 07-06-2010, 03:55 PM   #6
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People won't mention that a woman looks like she's lost weight until it's so blatantly obvious that you could notice from space. And with good reason: if they are wrong, and you haven't, it's like saying that you need to, which is awkward for everyone. Notice other compliments: when people think you've lost weight but they aren't sure, they will compliment your hair or your clothes or your jewelry or just tell you that you "look nice".

Weight is less sensitive for me, so people are quicker to bring it up.
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Old 07-06-2010, 04:09 PM   #7
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Some people are jealous of your weight loss and they will be the last ones to tell you that you are losing weight. Just keep at it girl! If you see the changes and your hubby sees it.....to **** with everyone else.

They will have to comment eventually! Trust me!
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Old 07-06-2010, 04:10 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gardenerjoy View Post
Maybe it's because we women are always curvy so it's harder to notice that the curves are shrinking?
that's a good point, I have big boobs and they aren't shrinking, so maybe it isn't as obvious.

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Originally Posted by Gold32 View Post
I don't understand why they would notice on him over you. You've lost more and started at a smaller size.
Aaaaah! I know, it's maddening. I thought for sure that I should show more than him, but you may be right about the bias thing. Then again, Shmead makes a good point, too.

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Originally Posted by Shmead View Post
People won't mention that a woman looks like she's lost weight until it's so blatantly obvious that you could notice from space. And with good reason: if they are wrong, and you haven't, it's like saying that you need to.
I didn't even think of that. Great point.
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Old 07-06-2010, 04:11 PM   #9
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Thanks, Slim!
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Old 07-06-2010, 04:28 PM   #10
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Shmead does have a good point. In fact, I just told my husband this very thing (to wait until your sure they've lost) after he told my cousin (whom looks like my twin) that it looked like she'd been losing weight, too. She said she's gained. Oops!

So it could be one or the other or both, or something else! As I said, people don't always make sense!
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Old 07-06-2010, 04:28 PM   #11
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You know, when I read this post I thought of that commercial where the girl is like, "my husband and I stopped drinking pop. I went down a size. He went down four. :/" etc you know the one I'm talking about?

Either way, I think certain things just show more on men. You've still lost weight and should be proud! Just keep going Also, men (well most men) don't have breasts, so we're pretty curvy, breasts, tummy, etc, so it's a bit harder to notice.
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Old 07-06-2010, 04:35 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gardenerjoy View Post
It took 40 pounds AND new clothes before anyone besides DH noticed my loss.
This is a good point. When we lose weight but wear the same clothes, it's hard to tell. This is really frustrating me right now b/c I don't want to go out and buy a whole new wardrobe, but when I belt my too-big shorts or pants, I look dumpy.

Weight lifting can make a huge difference for men, too. My husband can put on 20lbs of pure muscle when he lifts regularly. So he may have only lost 18 lbs, but if he's put on 10 or 20 of muscle, that adds up. Plus if he's building his shoulders, that changes his silhouette in a noticeable way.

But I think the bias thing is the most likely culprit. Just too risky to mention a woman's weight!
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Old 07-06-2010, 04:36 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shmead View Post
People won't mention that a woman looks like she's lost weight until it's so blatantly obvious that you could notice from space. And with good reason: if they are wrong, and you haven't, it's like saying that you need to, which is awkward for everyone. Notice other compliments: when people think you've lost weight but they aren't sure, they will compliment your hair or your clothes or your jewelry or just tell you that you "look nice".

Weight is less sensitive for me, so people are quicker to bring it up.
I agree 100%.
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Old 07-06-2010, 04:55 PM   #14
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I have a friend who lost weight and I hadn't seen her in a while. We met with other friends for lunch and although I noticed she looked thinner, I didn't feel comfortable asking if she had lost weight. While she had lost about 20 - 30lbs, her specific size isn't something I paid much attention to. (she was probably similar size to you) After the lunch I asked another friend we were with if the first one had lost weight. But I know I'm sensitive about my weight and I'm always unsure whether to ask someone about possible weight loss until its blantently obvious. 20lbs on her still left her with a ways to go, and it was hard to distinguish, especially since i don't really critique her size.

On the other hand, I know people who always like to try and compliment a woman by saying "You look great, have you lost weight?" and they think that is a compliment. To me, when that happens, I feel awkward, especially as I was gaining weight.

And as another option, if you are still hiding behind your clothes out of still being uncomfortable in your new thinness, then people may not see it as easily. Many people don't notice weight loss until it shows in your face because they don't pay attention to the rest of your body. If you have a round face and your husbands is more oblong, its likely his face shows the weight loss faster than yours does.
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Old 07-06-2010, 07:06 PM   #15
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I think it's probably not the muscle thing, It's probably that his weight all came off his paunch and yours came off all over. If someone loses all the weight from one area, it's easier to notice. And, men mostly carry weight in thier belly.
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