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There has be a better way...

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Old 07-01-2010, 04:02 PM   #1
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Default There has be a better way...

...to balance life and weight loss/fitness. I know I'm not the only one, but I'm getting a little tired of thinking of nothing but weight loss and fitness. I spend pretty much all my lunch breaks on 3FC and fitness forums, all the books I've been reading lately are weight loss or fitness related, I have a phone with internet access so I end my evenings with more 3FC. I'm constantly planning meals, tracking calories, looking for new recipies, looking for new ways to workout...I mean seriously what did I do before losing weight???? I know I had hobbies, friends, a family...I do my very best not to bring it up during converstations, but I can't wait until someone else does so can yammer on and on...I mean my fear is that I'll either burn out and just say screw it all together and go back to my old ways, or that I have converted into the total health nut I've always hated and this is the way it's going to be forever and honestly it's exhausting. Constantly staring in the mirror to make sure I didn't suddenly get fat again or to see where else I need to lose weight, lifting my shirt to see if my tummy possible got smaller while I was sitting at my desk...I'm slightly exagerating, but not really...Will I ever find a balance??? I mean I know my life is different now and my priorities have changed for the better of course, but this is ridiculous. I'm thinking I may need to only allow myself 30 mins of 3FC a day and that might help to allow my mind to concentrate on some other important things in my life and start to balance out my priorities. I'm just so distracted by it ALL.THE.TIME. Oh this journey really is never ending Oh yeah and what's going to happen once I hit maintenance??? Probably nothing, I'll be think about all the same things, new recipes, new workouts, how to get the most bang for my calorie buck...ok...enough b#@&hing...back to work...
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My Journey
268 lbs - Journey Begins (January 11, 2006)
197 lbs - 71 lbs lost (October 15, 2007)
247 lbs - 50 lbs gained pregnancy (August 22, 2008)
195 lbs - baby weight gone (July 7, 2009)
168 lbs - 100 lbs lost (March 26, 2010)
148 lbs - GOAL! 120 lbs lost (July 18, 2010)
138 lbs - 10 lbs under goal (December 29, 2010)
PR 1/2 Marathon - Time 1:59:50 (November 11, 2012)
PR Marathon - Time 4:40:53 (March 18, 2012)
Today 140s & training for my Health
"There is nothing you can't have tomorrow so there is no reason to eat it all today."
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Old 07-01-2010, 04:08 PM   #2
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You do seem to be way wrapped up in it (and that is coming from a person who happily embraces my own personal weight loss obsession).

Maybe it's time for some sort of counseling to help you step back a bit?

I mean, I'm pretty into it, but being into it doesn't make me unhappy. I'm cool to live this way. You seem to be really angsty.

Yes, the journey is never ending, but you need to find a path that doesn't make you crazy on a daily basis. It is very much a "what works for you" thing.
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Old 07-01-2010, 04:42 PM   #3
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It's not making me unhappy per se, just very very distracted. I mean don't get me wrong, I LOVE my new way of life and I LOVE cooking and running/exercising, but I just feel a little unbalanced.
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My Journey
268 lbs - Journey Begins (January 11, 2006)
197 lbs - 71 lbs lost (October 15, 2007)
247 lbs - 50 lbs gained pregnancy (August 22, 2008)
195 lbs - baby weight gone (July 7, 2009)
168 lbs - 100 lbs lost (March 26, 2010)
148 lbs - GOAL! 120 lbs lost (July 18, 2010)
138 lbs - 10 lbs under goal (December 29, 2010)
PR 1/2 Marathon - Time 1:59:50 (November 11, 2012)
PR Marathon - Time 4:40:53 (March 18, 2012)
Today 140s & training for my Health
"There is nothing you can't have tomorrow so there is no reason to eat it all today."
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Old 07-01-2010, 05:07 PM   #4
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You are doing great and I love that you share your worries on 3FC. It challenges me to be more thoughtful about my program.

I think things will settle down with time. I was looking in the mirror constantly and taking pictures of myself for awhile when I was close to goal. Now that I'm at maintenance, I don't think about dieting as much as I did.

I have my plan and I trust it, so I don't think about it. I do get a little crazy after a binge relapse, but I settle down after I get back on plan.

I think once you trust your process (and you should, you are succeeding), you'll be able to relax more.

...And I think it wouldn't hurt to add activities in your life that aren't related to dieting/workouts. Personally, I take improv comedy classes and I enjoy that enormously.
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Old 07-01-2010, 06:24 PM   #5
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ncuneo, I know exactly where you are coming from. And I have wondered the same thing. But, I do think that it is the energy and time that you have put into your weight loss that has taken you this far. I am a believer that weight loss requires constant devotion to the effort. I am guessing that, in time, your preoccupation with it will subside. But for now, embrace it--it has been a key to your success!

Cheers,

J
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Old 07-02-2010, 08:53 AM   #6
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I was the same way. It's seriously all I thought about. I would go online and browse restaurants that I had no intention of going to in the near future just to look at their calorie counts. I'd sit down with a calculator and figure out my averate rate of loss and where I would be at such and such date if I continued that rate. I'd want to talk about it with everyone, suddenly I thought everyone was as interested in the calorie counts as I was. I also spent every free five minutes I had on 3FC or caloriecount.com figuring out my meal plans and workouts for days in advance.

I really had to step back. I got tired of the lose lose lose mentality. I'm not sure if anyone noticed, but I had to take a break from 3FC for a few weeks. I'd still lurk, but I frankly didn't want to talk about my own weight stuff and I didn't want to read about other peoples' either. I continued to work out and continued to plan my meals, but even that felt tedious. I was just tired of all of it. I just wanted to get to my goal and live like a normal person again (not normal like my old lifestyle of overeating, but normal as in not thinking about weight loss 99.999% of the time).

I am finding a balance more and more. I still practice my healthy habits with eating whole foods, lean proteins, lots of bulky fiberous fruits and veggies, etc. Still exercise, still plan meals and log calories. But, it's not my whole life anymore. I had a piece of chocolate cake at Olive Garden the other night. It wasn't a "cheat night" it wasn't a "oh my gosh I binged, what is the scale going to say!" it wasn't even a "planned treat." It was just a piece of cake. I ate light the next day and exercised extra and knew in the back of my mind that it was a rare once in awhile thing. No big deal, that's all it was, a piece of cake.

I had to transition from being a person on a diet or a person losing weight to just living like a normal healthy thin person. Yes, I eat fairly low cal (1300-1800), but that's not because I'm on a diet, I'm just not a very big person. I exercise, but that's not because I'm trying to lose weight or burn X amount of calories or anything, it's just because healthy energetic people are active and exercise.

I'm proud of my weight loss, it was a life changing few months in my life. And I recognize that I will always have to actively and consciously work to maintain my weight. Probably more so than somebody who is naturally thin or who was never overweight. But that doesn't mean that weight needs to be my entire life. Weight maintenance is just part of my routine habits like brushing my teeth or going to work in the morning.
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Old 07-02-2010, 10:30 AM   #7
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For me, I DO look at all of this, the cooking, shopping, preparing, developing/finding recipes, fitness, eating well - as a hobby. There's no doubt about it. That is how I view it.

I get pleasure from adhering this lifestyle in a great big way. Not just the wonderful benefits, but the actual process of it.

When you become obsessed with something it takes away from other aspects of your life - this enhances my life.

I feel the all time spent on my food/health/fitness is VERY beneficial and time VERY well spent. When I wasn't focused on it so much - I was morbidly obese. And then I spent time worrying constantly, not enjoying life and MISERABLE. For me, this is the MUCH better alternative. But I do feel that I balance it well - if you don't feel that you do, than perhaps you've got to re-asses a bit. Especially the part about checking in the mirror to see if you've suddenly gotten fat. That line bothered me the most about your post and that's what I think you need to *work on*.

The checking on the suddenly getting fat thing aside, I also think you have to recognize that it's okay to spend time on this. That it is worthy of it.
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Old 07-02-2010, 11:27 AM   #8
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Can you think of it as a intense training period or orientation that you just went through? Or even one of those intensive, meets-every-single-day classes some colleges run in the summer, leading to an expedited certificate or degree? This was all new to you. How else were you going to educate yourself? You had to learn a lot, study up on things, you had to practice & then reinforce new behaviors.

Now, you're way further on the learning curve than you were. (In fact, you're near what you consider your graduation.) You can afford to kick back a little. You will still need a certain amount of attentiveness, much more than someone who was born naturally thin. You'll need to keep following good behaviors and consult with what you've learned. It may help you to stay in touch here. But yes, you can relax a little. If you will only let yourself. That is the key thing here, I think. You need to stop hovering over yourself. This life you've set in motion is now self-sustaining & doesn't need so much pushing & prodding to be kept going. Don't be your own helicopter parent & I think you will be okay.

Yes, the constant checks on whether the fat is spontaneously rising again, all on its own, like a yeast dough, does make me worry, too. (Though I know the feeling exactly, and I can also relate to your weariness.) But your post ends on a healthy note. You're already thinking about restricting Internet time on 3FC & looking up at the rest of your life, thinking, "Where did it all go?I miss it." That's the first step to taking it back.

It's been like that for me, too. Looking at my books, thinking I've got two books on weightlifting, one on Pilates, and the Beck Solution. Oh, no. It's a gorgeous day. I'm going out on my patio to read. But I'm going to **make myself** pick up a novel & some of those NY Times Book Reviews that I've been accumulating without reading for a couple weeks.

As long as we've got that much perspective on it -- which your post clearly shows, or you wouldn't even be able to RECOGNIZE that you have an issue -- there's hope & we can learn to be more moderate.
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Old 07-02-2010, 03:29 PM   #9
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Quote:
I'm not sure if anyone noticed, but I had to take a break from 3FC for a few weeks.
I did notice!

Thanks everyone, everything that everyone said really struck a cord with me. I really think what's going on is I'm in the middle of that transition where you go from losing weight to Oh, ok I eat this way because this is how a normal thin person eats and I'm a normal thin person now so this is what my life is going to be about now. I too am starting to view fitness and cooking as sort of a hobby, I guess I'm just having a hard time accepting that it's ok to have hobbies like that, it doesn't make me obsessed or a health nut, lots of people love to cook and cook healthy and lots of people love to exercise. I think this post and more importantly your responses really put this all in perspective for me. I suppose I'm just have a little trouble transitioning from weight loss to maintenance. I really didn't expect there to be this much emotional baggage to come with this part of the journey. I thought that I'd just reach my goal and be like ok that's done.

As for being afraid of suddenly getting fat again, I'm not really sure where that is coming from. I think it might have something to do with my mom always gaining back the weight she's lost. My entire life she's been gaining and losing weight. In reality though I maintained 197 for a few months before I got pregnant and again after I lost the baby weight but before I started trying to lose weight again and it wasn't hard at all. I just went back to the lifestyle I was living before I got pregnant, I didn't even have to think about it. And this last weekend, we were away for 3 days all restaurant eating and yes I retained a little water (it was TOM also) but Monday it was back to business without a second thought and the extra water weight was gone by Tuesday. So I know how to do this, I'm already doing it. I think I just need to give myself a little more credit that I'll succeed at maintenance the same way I've succeeded at weight loss and look at my time here on 3FC as a hobby as well. Thanks everyone!
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My Journey
268 lbs - Journey Begins (January 11, 2006)
197 lbs - 71 lbs lost (October 15, 2007)
247 lbs - 50 lbs gained pregnancy (August 22, 2008)
195 lbs - baby weight gone (July 7, 2009)
168 lbs - 100 lbs lost (March 26, 2010)
148 lbs - GOAL! 120 lbs lost (July 18, 2010)
138 lbs - 10 lbs under goal (December 29, 2010)
PR 1/2 Marathon - Time 1:59:50 (November 11, 2012)
PR Marathon - Time 4:40:53 (March 18, 2012)
Today 140s & training for my Health
"There is nothing you can't have tomorrow so there is no reason to eat it all today."
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