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How do you deal with sadness without eating?

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Old 06-29-2010, 12:07 AM   #1
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Default How do you deal with sadness without eating?

I mean just on an immediate level. My family is pretty much completely falling apart right now- mother's been dead for years, father is remarried, brother has been sent to some sort of correctional school because he wasn't going to classes, don't feel like I fit in with the new, thin, preppy athletic family, don't feel like I have any connection with my dad, self esteem issues, yada yada yada. I don't think I can fix any of this, at least not in the short term. Usually when I feel too terrible I go get me some ice cream which perks me up, but I can't do that now.

So my question is: what do you DO when you are feeling depressed and sluggish to try to feel better in an immediate way if you don't have food to self-medicate with?

Thanks guys.
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Old 06-29-2010, 12:26 AM   #2
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i know this is hard to believe, but i go out and actually do something good for me for like 15 mins- usually go for a run or jog. it physically gets the endorphins going which makes you happier, but also knowing that in tough times that i can actually do something good for myself and not resort to my old ways makes me feel great, like i have control of myself also, watching a ton of random youtube videos helps! lol its a good distraction haha
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Old 06-29-2010, 12:56 AM   #3
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It sounds like you are doing a lot of negative thinking, which is why you are depressed. In order to lose weight, you will need to examine the negative things that you are telling yourself. Whose fault, really, is it, that you don't fit in with your dad's new family? You are not so overweight that you should not fit in. I imagine your dad feels your distance and wishes something could be done to bring you closer. Blended families are tough sometimes... I've had several to adjust to in my life. You have to make an effort to get to know people. Focus on your positive assets and turn your thinking around. It will help you with your weight loss goals.
Sorry for the tough love approach! I wish you the best!
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Old 06-29-2010, 12:58 AM   #4
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Exercise, exercise, exercise.

I find kickboxing to be particularly good for getting out stress and sadness. Just get that physical release going. It can be hard to get started, but once you start...it usually works (for me!)
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Old 06-29-2010, 01:07 AM   #5
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Hi ImpalaHoarder...
I know how awfully sadness and depression can hurt. So often lonliness is right there, too, isn't it?

As a Christian, many times I pray.
Sometimes I get in my car and drive to a favorite park and just breathe in the beauty of nature.
Sometimes I talk to one or two close friends. After sharing my heart, many times we'll pray together for each other.
Sometimes a 'self-talk' helps...when I remind myself that I've felt this way before and think about how God brought me through.
Sometimes listening to music.
Sometimes I cook something I really like, but in a low-fat, low-calorie version.
And sometimes I just have to ride it out.

hugs to you,
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Old 06-29-2010, 01:44 AM   #6
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Thanks for your support, guys. This is an ongoing thing; my dad remarried 2 years ago. It really doesn't bother me that much often. I think my level of being upset by this is partially due to being home for the first time in a while (I'm really shy by nature and find it hard to deal with strangers which my stepfamily really still is since we've never interacted much) but a lot due to low blood sugar mood swings. Man, I forgot how intense those were. Such a silly cause and they feel like such serious business. I listened to music, got myself some green tea, and I think it's ebbing now. Thanks guys for being there in a pinch, and sorry for my ridiculousness.
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Old 06-29-2010, 02:02 AM   #7
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HI,

I want to give you some support. It sounds like you are going through a lot.

Some things that have helped me with sadness besides food are:

reaching to supportive people
trying relaxation exercises
journaling
taking a nap
self soothing - other than food

Hope I helped and hope things get easier...

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Old 06-29-2010, 02:17 AM   #8
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I had some big time unhappiness earlier this year, two miscarriages, nearly back to back. I kept reminding myself "sad calories count, too." I told myself, I'm really sad, but gaining weight will only make me feel worse. So, I just kept on plan.
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Old 06-29-2010, 08:21 AM   #9
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Crying.

Seriously, I had pretty much forgotten how a good cry can clear out the cobwebs.
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Old 06-29-2010, 08:39 AM   #10
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I second crying, it's a healthy way to get out emotion we'd otherwise suppress/numb out with food.

I hope things improve for you, it can be hard when there's issues in your family since it's inevitable it will have an impact on you, but remember you're your own person and you don't have to take on all their problems as well.
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Old 06-29-2010, 10:45 AM   #11
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Putting on some music and having a cup of tea is an excellent strategy -- good for you!

I'm another one that finds exercise incredibly helpful -- yoga, a walk outdoors, playing with the Wii, putting on some music and dancing around the room.

Also, books. There are a lot of books at the library these days on the subject of happiness. I haven't looked, but I suspect there are books about how to survive being the child of divorced parents.

And, for less serious reading, I find reading a mass market paperback wonderfully distracting from any problems I have -- it's even better than watching television or a movie, something about making the pictures up in my own mind makes it more engaging.

Also, a hot bath.
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Old 06-29-2010, 11:44 AM   #12
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You feel your feelings instead of trying to stuff them down or alter them with food.

If you can't handle the feelings, you look to get help with them by talking to a trusted friend, a minister, a counselor, or a therapist.

The only way out is through...

Jay
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Old 06-29-2010, 12:43 PM   #13
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I agree with the crying. When I feel down, I let it out and then take a hot shower/bath just to help me relax and maybe take a nap. But for those very rough patches, I try to get my mind thinking about the positives I have in my life and then just pray, pray pray!! Hope you start feeling better.
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Old 06-29-2010, 12:49 PM   #14
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gardenerjoy: Actually my parents aren't divorced, my mother died a few years back. But it still applies.

Thanks for all the great advice guys!
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Old 06-29-2010, 03:48 PM   #15
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Oops, sorry. You'd think I'd read better since I like to read so much! You're right that it still applies, there's books on grieving, too.

Hope you're feeling better today!
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