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i'm so ashamed of myself

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Old 06-25-2010, 09:16 PM   #1
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Unhappy i'm so ashamed of myself

before i put on all the weight, i use to have these red pants i wore all the time. The last time i wore them was about a year ago, not so long ago. I had been in denial about how much weight i've gained, and hadn't gone near them or tried them on for that matter. i'm not sure at what the weight i was before gaining, but i assumed it was around my current weight. Well, i tried on my pants today and i was horrified to see just how far away i was to fit into them. I can't believe i let myself get so obese, and i'm so ashamed of letting go so bad at my body.




i took pictures, because i'm trying to keep this weight loss journal. you can see how they still don't even button! I'm not sure how to handle this setback.. i had been feeling so good about myself.


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Old 06-25-2010, 09:47 PM   #2
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its okay girl! those are OFFICIALLY your INSPIRATION PANTS! hang them up where you can see them every day!! by the end of the summer its VERY likely that they'll fit if you start cutting back on eating lots!! good luck
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Old 06-25-2010, 09:55 PM   #3
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Small consolation, i know, since the pants don't fit but it is possible they did the last time you were at this weight. When you gain weight and lose it again you don't always lose it in exactly the same places as before. So your belly may have been thinner/flatter before and you carried those extra pounds somewhere that didn't effect how the pants fit.
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Old 06-25-2010, 09:56 PM   #4
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You're not really that far away from fitting into them! I know it can be discouraging to think you've come so far then realize you're not quite as close as you thought you were, but you're are SO much closer then you had been. 45lbs is terrific! Just keep working at it and you will be looking great in those pants in no time.
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Old 06-25-2010, 09:57 PM   #5
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Know what? In a few months, you're going to be really happy that you took those pictures because you'll be amazed at the difference when you take them again in your goal pants. And here's how I know:

What does 50 pounds lost look like? Pics!

My only regret is that I didn't take pictures earlier in my journey. I had those jeans and they were my FAVORITES, but after I gained a bunch of weight I couldn't squeeze into them. You can see that my starting picture looks a lot like your starting picture.

Oh....I wore those jeans to work today. Buttoned. With a belt. So don't spend time feeling ashamed or embarassed--just be factual about it. You used to wear those pants all the time, and you will wear them again. Today is day one--good luck!
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Old 06-26-2010, 12:49 AM   #6
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i know you're all right, but it's hard not to feel disappointment in myself. i find it really hard to rationalize situations like this, when i had really high hopes. It's also hard because it feels like i'm starting all over again and it's a big slap of reality... like hey, i'm still super fat.


but, i'm DEFINITELY not quitting. I will take neveragainbabe's wonderful advice and put them out so i can see them everyday.
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Old 06-26-2010, 12:58 AM   #7
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I wanted to add in that clothing tend to shrink back into their original shape when you don't wear it for a while. For example, I had a pair of jeans that I wore EVERYDAY to the point where it was really comfortable because it conformed to my body shape. At some point, I just threw them in the back of my closet because I had bought a new pair of jeans I liked even better. Well, I remember sometime after that when I tried it on again, after no weight gain whatsoever, the pants became tight on me.

Anyway, use it as more inspiration! I'm sure those pants will soon fit, and eventually become loose!
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Old 06-26-2010, 02:44 AM   #8
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i need a new pair of pants to hang on my wall.
all of them are too big or fit fine right now.

im going to go out and by myself a pair of 8 or 9s!

ohh and im 45 pounds to go too. and i keep sabataging it. so i guess tomorrow is my day 1 also.
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Old 06-26-2010, 04:17 AM   #9
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I just wanted to tell you that I looked at your photo and got very excited that I might have the figure you have now in a year. 45 lbs. is nothing to shake a stick at, and though I know it is disappointing not to be able to wear the red pants right now, soon you'll take another picture with them around your ankles because they were so big they fell off!

Perspective!
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Old 06-26-2010, 04:55 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by asharksrevenge View Post
I just wanted to tell you that I looked at your photo and got very excited that I might have the figure you have now in a year.
lol, thanks. that's very nice. though my figure looks a lot nicer when it's not sausaged to maximum overload.
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Old 06-26-2010, 09:27 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by therex View Post
lol, thanks. that's very nice. though my figure looks a lot nicer when it's not sausaged to maximum overload.
LOL, that's a cute way to put it. Look, it's reasonable to feel disappointed about things; that can be the motivation to spur us on in the right direction. But try to be kind to yourself; don't shame yourself because shame is such an unproductive state of mind. Sometimes here I see people using the word "disgusted" against themselves (I know you didn't do that) and it makes me so sad, because how can a person move forward in a positive direction if they're mired in feelings of disgust towards their own body?

Anyway, you seem to have a healthy point of view and I wish you continued success. Keep trying on the pants and taking pictures--you will be amazed, because they will fit you very soon.
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Old 06-26-2010, 09:33 AM   #12
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Hang them up!! Make it your goal to get into it!!! I know how you feel. I am hanging 2 different dress up to look at!!! I just need to lose a bit to get into one and it will look nice (about 5 to 8 pounds), the other is more (about 20 pounds)...so hang them were you see them everyday, it will work, and when you get into them, enjoy!!!
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