[Hart]

I came across this site 2 years ago and it helped me a LOT! I was so inspired that I lost a total of 115 pounds!

I have been re-gaining and losing the last 12 since my honeymoon (May) where I declared a free-for-all on my eating I have fallen off the wagon and health issues have made returning difficult but so has this depression!

I feel like I look the same pretty much (as when I was at my highest)- how is that possible? I look in the mirror or at pictures and cringe. I see other pics in the goal albums and they look like different people! I've gone from inspired to jealous.

I keep thinking about how I've RUINED my body. It will NEVER look them same. I have so much bunchy fat and I look like a partially filled sack! I'm so unbelievably disgusted with and disappointed in what I did (gaining all that weight origionally) and have gone from being a happy & confident person who lost weight simply to be healthy to this.

Crazy thing in that when I was THAT FAT (300+ pounds) I didn't see it! I was in deeeeeppppp denial. I got real with myself and got to work. I broke myself down and have yet to rebuild if that makes sense.

Sometimes I feel like what's the point?

I have a new goal of 175 but my ultimate goal is to wear a size 10 comfortably. Maybe that will change once I get there? But for now that's it.

I'm reaching out for support because I really need it!

What can I do to change my perspective and get positive & motivated? I hope to become a more active member (again) and find out

[cocomama]

hi hart,

its understandable how you feel, but just remember how far your've come!

Sure you have gained 12lbs on your honeymoon - with the one you love the most (good food, good company) ...

You can, have done an will lose those lbs! Each day is brand new thats what i keep telling myself, ana.

[paris81]

You stopped and came here after a 12 lbs gain! That's fantastic! You could have just pushed yourself into denial all the way past your highest weight, and you certainly wouldn't have been the first.

My point is...I'm super impressed with your resolve already. You can totally get back on track!

[PapayaMule]

First I think you need to remind yourself that it is totally NORMAL to become demotivated once in a while. It takes such a long time (if you're doing it the right way) to lose a significant amount of weight that if anything you should expect to go through phases when you lose your interest and enthusiasm. It can be tiring to be so completely focused on one goal and you should allow for your mind to take little breaks. Kind of "build them in" to your plan. So it may take a bit longer to get to your goal, but you will get there.

If you take the pressure off yourself for a bit, when you least expect it you will find your fire again. That doesn't mean you should completely let go, but just change a couple of little things for a while that you are finding too much to handle at the moment.

The kind of weight loss you have achieved takes a huge amount of discipline, motivation and self-belief, as you know better than anyone. It's easy to feel like nothing has changed even after all our hard work, but in our rational minds we know we have come such a long way. Try to make smaller goals along the way and try not to expect absolute perfection.

Maybe you should take some time to do the fun things that you couldn't do when you were at your highest weight. Go hiking with your husband or friends, go shopping - whatever. Do something that makes you feel that all your work has paid off.

Personally, when I'm really lacking in motivation I go shopping. Even if it's just browsing clothes on the internet, I find this really inspires me to maintain my figure because I really want to be able to wear certain things and feel like I look good in them.

Finally, maybe taking a little bit of focus off the weight loss and transferring it to eating healthily would do you some good at the moment. This really gets me thinking about how food makes me feel. When I regularly eat really good home cooked clean foods and lots of vegetables it makes me not want junk so much because I know the healthy option will make me feel so much better afterwards. This way I end up losing weight despite myself, even though that's not necessarily what I was aiming for.

I hope you feel better soon, I know what it's like to get caught up in a spiral of negativity. Praise yourself, don't punish yourself - you've achieved incredible things already!

[workingtobethin]

I have to say, I'm glad I found your post. I've been going through such a hard time myself. I lost 87lbs so far, and in the past month or so I've been totally off, allowing myself to go back to my old habits. MY routine and schedule has changed due to my husband working evenings, I have no time for myself. I do childcare from home and it's so stressful never leaving the house and taking care of so many kids. I realized that I need to go back to work and I'm in the process of finding a job. The stress has brought me back to where I was in the beginning, I've put on 8-10lbs for sure. I can't put more back on. I"m terrified I won't be able to stop myself. I keep trying every day but I keep failing. I need to take the time for myself but I just feel so guilty and its' stupid to feel that way. I'm with my kids 24/7. I live in a place that the weather is very bad most of the time so going out to walk is ok sometimes but a lot of the time I can't just go out to exercise. I'm considering getting a gym membership so I can go for 1 hour whenever I can. I want my control and power back, but I just feel like a complete failure and like I'll never reach a healthy weight. I still have so far to go, I can't afford for the scale to go back up. Knowing someone else who's lost a lot of weight can still have struggles does help because I know we aren't done...we started over 300lbs and I could barely move, I have to be able to do it from here. I wish you all the luck and hope to find my way back too.

[shattered]

15 years ago I was as heavy as I am now and feel really crappy about being back here.