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Doomed for failure?

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Old 06-23-2010, 06:13 PM   #1
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Default Doomed for failure?

I have diet for the past 6 years. I went to WW my senior year of high school and weighed only 158 lbs (oh how I wish I would have know how bad it could get). After giving birth to my 2nd child I weighed 20lbs less than before I got pregnant. I have gained it all back. I did this same thing with my first child. I want to lose the weight but some how always ruin everything when I get under 200 lbs. I grew up with a mother who was always on a diet. Ever since I can remember she never said good things about herself. I didn't like the feeling it gave me. I really don't want my children to live with a similar situation. Have any of you had a similar experience? Am I doomed because I was raised thinking that I have to always be on a diet and not ever get anywhere?

Last edited by brinblack85 : 06-23-2010 at 07:09 PM.
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Old 06-23-2010, 07:07 PM   #2
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Hey, don't despair!

You know that it will take you some months to lose the weight you want to lose, right? So you'll need to take the long view. Suppose you lost a pound a week--how many weeks would it take? Make that a sort of target date (not that you HAVE to hit it exactly--it just gives you something to aim for). Then break down the time into smaller goals. Not just weight goals, but also eating and exercise goals.

Any number of websites can give you guidance about goals--I use FitDay, as do a lot of folks here. It allows you to track your foods and it does all the adding for you.

As for exercise, try to do something active almost every day. It doesn't have to be some big athletic challenge! If you have FitTV in your TV package, check out some of the 1/2 hour workouts. They are enough to get you started.

Don't give up. You aren't doomed to fail unless you believe you are!

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Old 06-23-2010, 07:09 PM   #3
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Just keep going is the best advice I can give.

For me the number is 160 pounds. Every time I get under that I gain weight back. Every single time. Sometimes it's 10-15 pounds. At one point it was even 20 pounds. Lately it has been 2 or 3. I get under 160, get up to 162, get down and back up. This has been going on for 3 years. I feel you pain.

You and I - we just need to stick with it. Keep going. We can do this!

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Old 06-23-2010, 07:27 PM   #4
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I've been trying to lose weight since I was 5 years old (I'm 44) and have failed more than I succeeded. In a very real sense, I dieted my way to 394 lbs.

I wasn't doomed to faillure, but I was making the same mistake every single time (and didn't even realize it). To paraphrase a popular quote "if you do what you always do, you'll get what you've always gotten".

The biggest change I've made has been reducing carbs, and choosing not to view mistakes as failures.

Following a low-carb diet keeps cravings and hunger under better control, but I work really hard at preventing a slip from turning into a leap off of a steep cliff.

In the past, if I ate off plan, I'd decide "what's the use, I might as well start fresh tomorrow (and swallow everything in sight until bedtime - maybe staying up late to eat even more). I can't say that thought doesn't occasionally reoccur, but I usually stop myself from acting it out (especially in the dramatic way I once did, when my start-fresh point wasn't the next morning, but rather next week, or next month).

It also helped to de-emotionalize the weight. I'm not a horrible person, I'm a fat person. Eating doesn't make me lazy, crazy, or stupid. Being fat is not the worst sin on the planet, and maybe isn't a sin at all (gasp of horror at the thought).

If I make a mistake, I treat it as a physical slip or fall. I don't lie on the ground deciding I'm too worthless or exhausted to get up. I get up and back to the job.



I'm not saying I'm good at this. Even after almost 40 years of studying this stuff, I'm still a dunce. Perhaps the slowest learner on the planet. It's taken me five years to get off 83 pounds: 20 pounds the first year, no gain or loss for the next year or two, and consistent (though slow) weight loss for about the past two years.

Kind of ridiculously slow, when you think about it - but it started with only one change - deciding not to gain weight. The tweny pounds came off without my doing anything at all except getting treatment for sleep apnea and other health issues. The doctors said I might as a result, lose a little weight without trying, but when it happened (after the shock wore off) I decided I wanted to keep that loss, and maybe try to lose some more.

You don't have to be perfect to make changes, you just have to be better. Focusing on progress over perfection, really helped keep me going. It may take me another 10 years to get all of the weight off, but I'll get there eventually as long as I don't give up.

(Most people don't give up because they're failing, but because their successes seem too small - I don't see any success as too small anymore - every small change is a building block for bigger change).
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Old 06-24-2010, 08:58 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kaplods View Post
... To paraphrase a popular quote "if you do what you always do, you'll get what you've always gotten".

...
It also helped to de-emotionalize the weight. I'm not a horrible person, I'm a fat person. Eating doesn't make me lazy, crazy, or stupid. Being fat is not the worst sin on the planet, and maybe isn't a sin at all (gasp of horror at the thought).

If I make a mistake, I treat it as a physical slip or fall. I don't lie on the ground deciding I'm too worthless or exhausted to get up. I get up and back to the job.
...
(Most people don't give up because they're failing, but because their successes seem too small - I don't see any success as too small anymore - every small change is a building block for bigger change).
AMEN TO THAT!

I agree 110%. well said!

Quote:
Ever since I can remember she never said good things about herself. I didn't like the feeling it gave me. I really don't want my children to live with a similar situation. Have any of you had a similar experience? Am I doomed because I was raised thinking that I have to always be on a diet and not ever get anywhere?
Growing up, I always felt I had to lose weight. My dad once told me "nice boys don't like fat girls". But now, I am focusing on the healthy eating and exercise more than anything... I want my son to see my husband and I eating our veggies and getting physical activity. I don't want to be so hung up on my weight in front of him. I want him to have the tools to make healthy choices and I am trying not to make sweets, etc. seem like "forbidden fuit". He prefers fruit and veggies over sweets and I am trying to encourage things to stay that way.

It's hard as a mom - I worry about everything I do and how it will affect him.
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Old 06-24-2010, 11:01 AM   #6
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You are not doomed for failure unless you keep telling yourself that. You can do anything you set your mind to - but first you have to get out of your own head to make things happen. Stick around here, read the stories, ask questions. You can do it if you put your mind to it! I just take it one day at a time and sometimes one hour at a time. I have felt like it was impossible, but when I changed the way I thought about things it all just came together. I am only 9 weeks in, but I know I will make it.
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