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Beach Week Fiasco... and unsupportive parents?

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Old 06-08-2010, 11:28 PM   #1
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Default Beach Week Fiasco... and unsupportive parents?

Ok... the first part... totally my own fault. Well... most of it anyways.

And before anyone asks... Orlando was FUN!!! Loved it... loved it... loved it. Not somewhere I want to live... and most DEFINATELY NOT on the beach (I hate beaches with a passion... spent thirty minutes on it... and I've had enough to last me a lifetime)... but just around the place. Universal Studios was a blast. Loved the Universal Studios Florida... though... all those 3D show/rides ended up driving me up the wall. I don't like things reaching out at me... especially not with guns or sticks... so yeah. But it was a ton of fun.



I started out fine with the whole travel thing. Despite the fact that my mom refused to let me pay for, or buy (despite it being literally 1 dollar more expensive) a healthier option for lunch. But I was doing well. Family wasn't going along with it... but I was OK with that... I'd try and make it work...

Then... we went to Golden Corral. I did have a salad... but I don't like nuts... and the ONLY meats they had out were totally deep fried. So I had that. And a tiny bit of dessert. I don't think that was the bad part... it was afterwards. We left the next morning for the beach house. And... that was fine. As soon as we got there I was EXHAUSTED. I hadn't had a chance to REALLY sleep since... well... quite a while. We'd been moving and moving and moving ever since Wednesday morning. So it was nice to be able to sleep. But... I was woken up... and I'm the kind of person who... well... isn't all there for the first two to two and a half hours after I wake up. So... they woke me up for dinner. Still half asleep and thinking I still had a hamster named Harry Potter... I wolfed down a burger, a ton of cheezits, probably two cans of diet soda, and something else... don't remember what. Not quite because I wanted them... but because they were there... and it was something for me to do to try and wake myself up.

And about an hour after that... still in lala land... I went back to sleep. And woke up again... ate again (once again... stuffed my face), watched some TV (half asleep), ate a little more, went to the beach for about thirty minutes, came back, ate lunch, slept. Woke up again, still the same day... ate some more then went to the pool. Slept at the pool. Went back to the house. Ate dinner. Watched a couple shows with a couple snacks... went back to sleep. Woke up again... ate a little more, packed, tried to go back to sleep but was dragged to the car where I gulped down probably two more diet sodas (by that point I found them disgusting... but I just kept drinking), then ended up back at my mom's aunt's house (we had been staying with her for all of the time except for the two and a half days we were at the beach house). Then while we were there a huge dinner was made... and because I was just kind of sick of myself... I ate a lot again. Yeah... haven't you noticed... genius here.

So... in short... went WAY off track (at least... I'm pretty sure I did... with all that sleeping... I'm not completely positive how much I really ate... or didn't... or... anything. I had weird dreams where I'd eat breakfast or lunch... I dunno... everything's a blur). And didn't even have a chance to exercise with all of that sleeping. I did walk around and swim some at the beach and the pool... but apart from that... at the beach house... it was pretty much just sleep and eat. Needed the sleep... didn't quite need all those tortilla chips and cheezits (though... I have to say... looking back... I didn't eat as much as I would have a little over a month ago... but still... more than I should have anyways).

And then I tried to eat less the rest of the week... but was kind of in a whole "still exhausted... this is what is served... ok... why not" kind of mindset. Until the plane. Then I was thinking back... "oh... crap. I was supposed to have run twice or thrice this past week... I didn't even run at all!" and so on. I need a book. And as soon as I got home... I got on here... and asked on the Calorie Counting forum about good books for me to look at getting.

So yeah. And here I am... I weigh in tomorrow... so I'll see what the damage is. I had lost three pounds... now... probably gained it all back... but... never know.



But... to my second point. I don't get my parents. One moment they are all "yes... this is great... we'll do anything we can to help you"... and then they're telling me I can't get the healthier meal option... even if it was cheaper ($8 for Sweet Tomatoes vs $12 for Golden Corral). I mean... at the beginning of the week, in the airport... my mom took me and my older brother to go get lunch since we neglected to get anything at home. So... we went to this little food court area... he got something from Wendy's or something (don't remember where), and I wanted to get the sandwhich from Starbucks... that 400 calorie thing... and I know I probably wouldn't have finished all of it... since I would have tried to savor it because it wouldn't have had a bunch of strong flavors (I like bland foods... I know... I'm weird like that). It was around $6.50 including tax. Nope... WAY too expensive. But... according to my mom... the store over had a "healthy" food choice. To get JUST A SANDWHICH, it was $5.50 including tax. 550 calories of NASTY strong flavored sandwhich that my mom made me eat? And I wasn't even allowed to go buy the other thing WITH MY OWN MONEY?

I dunno... I just don't really get their logic. I mean... I can understand if it was just a saving money thing... and I do kind of understand that they don't want to go to one place, and then go to another just so I can have my "special" thing.. but when all my mom serves for dinner is Mac & Cheese and burgers... with the "vegetable" being tater tots... umm... huh?

I dunno... just... any ideas of how I can get my parents on track with me on this? I'm seventeen... I'm really not allowed to go out and buy my own meals... I've asked, I've even pleaded... nope. I have to eat what I'm served. It's confusing me because they say they'll help and do whatever... and when I ask to get more fruits and veggies... a few mandarin oranges, a bunch of bananas, lettuce, and tomatoes just don't cut it. And that's all they get. Oh... and some peppers that they fry up and are ONLY to be eaten as the fried food.

I do have only one more summer with them... but then I'm with my grandparents... and my grandma loves to cook... but it's stuff like brisket, and very strong flavored foods... and like I said above... I like very watery bland foods... strong flavor makes me feel sick... and I end up wolfing it down because I'm trying to avoid that flavor in my mouth... I'm weird... I'll be happy to admit it. I do have issues... but... how can I get my parents to work with me on them... instead of serving me all these high calorie foods (and only that am I allowed to eat), and then making comments like "I thought you were calorie counting, why are you eating that".

I'm just all confused.
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Old 06-09-2010, 01:11 AM   #2
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Eat less of the high calorie food. Portion control. Learn to cook and get creative with the food thats available.
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Old 06-09-2010, 01:17 AM   #3
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Maybe you need to make a rule for yourself that you never eat until you have been up for 2 hours. It sounds like when you're groggy you turn to mindless eating. If you wake up and are hungry drink water first, maybe go for a short walk to wake up a bit and then decided on a healthy meal, and count EVERY bite.

As far as your parents not supporting you. I'm sorry for that! Do you have to consult your mother on your lunch purchases? If you have your own money and want a healthier choice, just buy it and don't mention the price to her.

Good luck, you can do this!
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Old 06-09-2010, 02:42 AM   #4
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I know it's hard because you are young and are not totally in control of the food that is available AND it's doubly difficult when you are on vacation and outside of a set plan, but try to have a plan.

At this stage in my healthy eating, I know what I'm eating for breakfast tomorrow. If I were vacationing, I would still plan to have a healthy breakfast option.

This beach house has a microwave? A big thing of oatmeal is super cheap. I often bring a plastic baggie with 1/2 cup of oatmeal and 1/4 cup of dried blueberries. All I need is a little water (and a bowl/cup) and I have a healthy breakfast. I would also bring a tea bag, since I love hot green tea in the morning.

Once I eat my healthy breakfast I am more likely to continue my healthy plan for the day.

I agree, your parents are very confusing. You are young and overweight - why they aren't helping you is a mystery. You are 17, can you get a part time job so you have pocket money to buy your own healthy food? It's sad you would have to spend your own money on food, but having your own money would also be empowering.
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Old 06-09-2010, 10:18 AM   #5
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Thanks guys.

The idea of not eating until two hours after I'm awake if I'm groggy/whatever is a good idea. It wouldn't have worked while I was still in school (usually had only an hour to get ready... at the most... I liked to sleep in as much as possible), but now that I'm out... is a definate good idea. I know that this morning I had breakfast because I woke up refreshed (very rare for me... maybe all that sleep DID help some... ), went downstairs, weighed (only two pound damage... not too bad IMO), and then went into the kitchen and measured out (I made sure to measure... something I never wanted to do before) 1 cup of cheerios and 1/2 cup of milk for a breakfast of 175 calories. And I'm probably going to run by starbucks and grab a coffee/frappucinno on my way to Half-Price Books to get my calorie counting book and maybe a few other books (I love books... )

I know I can do this... and I was really annoyed at my own actions this past week... the mindless eating... and yes... it very much was mindless... I just grabbed things and stuffed them in my mouth... a couple of times quite literally.

I did have a part-time job... and around 2000 saved up for anything. I could use it to buy those running shoes I need... but I was hoping to use it to buy a horse... but then... don't know if I can even do that... but... oh well. $1000 of that is in savings and is not coming out... The rest... I can do what I want with... I guess. I had to resign from my part-time job due to the fact that I am moving this summer... and just don't have more than a day here or there to devote to it... and that wouldn't be fair for them. So yeah. I DO have the money to pay for my own meals... my parents just won't let me. >.< And when I do go and buy my own thing and don't eat theirs (yes... I have done it a couple times before), I get all these glares and rolled eyes and all... so yeah. I dunno... we're at home now... so hopefully that'll help me be able to get to more fruits and veggies. It's mainly annoying because even if I'll go to the grocery store with my mom and point out some fruits and veggies I'd like, we can't get them because they're "too expensive". and yeah... a few of them are... but not all of them!

so yeah... I'll have to figure something out. I'm probably going to spend a couple hours playing Wii Fit later today... and then go for only one run this evening.

Like I said... thanks guys!
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Old 06-09-2010, 10:33 AM   #6
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Go see a doctor. For one thing, that sort of sleepiness, for days, is not normal. Talk to the doctor about thyroid problems and talk to the doctor about diabetes and talk to the doctor about sleep apnea. Say these words, don't wait for the doctor to think of them. You may also want to bring up PCOS and insulin resistance. Eating leading to a cycle of exhaustion and more eating suggests something being off with your blood sugar.

Next, tell the doctor you need his support with your parents. He needs to give you orders and he needs to talk to your parents about why it is so important to get your weight under control now.

If your parents won't let you go see the doctor about your weight, lie and say you have a UTI. You just have to get alone in the room with the doctor.

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Old 06-09-2010, 10:48 AM   #7
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Really? Could this be something wrong with me... or is it just being tired and not really having a full night of sleep for several weeks due to school and other things? And then a sudden change from healthy eating to eating... well... crap? Kind of like a play hard work hard then crash type of thing? I don't think it was because of the eating... since I had been moving non-stop until those few days... but... I was extremely tired the entire time... I dunno.

Neither me nor my parents can really afford a doctor's visit at the moment... unless it's an emergency. And I'm not regularly sleepy like this... but... I don't know.

I dunno... I might really not have a choice but to wait until we go back to Serbia partway through July because that's where we have our regular doctor (even if she is a pediatrician, she treats all of us... young and old). She doesn't charge us an arm and a leg for a checkup type thing like almost all of the doctors that are approved with our insurance plan.
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Old 06-09-2010, 10:51 AM   #8
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You can wait until July, but yes, I'd go see a doctor. Eating leading to exhaustion and waking up ravenous and groggy really sounds like a low blood sugar thing to me. And if you have sleep apnea, you have no idea what normal feels like. You've never had a good night of sleep in your life. It's worth getting checked out.
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Old 06-09-2010, 10:54 AM   #9
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OK... I looked up some sleep apnea symptoms... and... apart from possible exhaustion or lack of sleep at times... I don't fit any of them. I don't snore... I don't sweat at night (unless the house is REALLY REALLY hot and the entire household is sweating buckets)... and I don't think I've ever had trouble breathing in any way, shape, or form while I'm asleep. I don't move around when I sleep... I do have VERY active dreams when I sleep though. Even falling asleep for ten minutes (or nine), I can end up having a lengthy dream. Is that something to worry about? Very rarely do I have a night where I fall asleep and then just "wake up" with no memory of dreams...
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Old 06-09-2010, 10:56 AM   #10
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I did have a part-time job... and around 2000 saved up for anything. I could use it to buy those running shoes I need... but I was hoping to use it to buy a horse... but then... don't know if I can even do that... but... oh well.
I have horses, and I wouldn't recommend using the last of your money to buy one. Especially if you aren't financially backed by your parents. How are you going to pay for board? Training/lessons? The inevitable $700 vet bill when the horse colics or scratches its eye or requires stitches?

Horses cost a lot of $$ and if you have $2000, $1000 if which is going to remain in savings, I would NOT recommend buying a horse.

You've got $1000? Buy running shoes. Buy your own food and put it in your fridge. Perhaps if your parents see that you are determined this time they will start to support you. You say that you've been on a diet for most of your life -- perhaps your parents are not being supportive because they've seen you get all excited about a weight-loss-plan only to see if fizzle out in a month. You have to show them that THIS TIME it's different or they probably WON'T be supportive. Spending your own money to eat well and get exercise may be a good way to do that.
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Old 06-09-2010, 11:09 AM   #11
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Rebound... I have definately considered all of those things. I'm not an idiot... I'm not going to just go out and "buy a pretty pony" without having the finances to back the care and all. I'm getting a job (most likely going to do the DCP program at school, so I get out early, which gives me more hours to use at a job and in caring for an animal) at my new place with my grandparents, and they have 42 acres and a donkey that would love a new "family member".

I can afford all of that... I'm not a ditz who is just wanting a pretty pony to put in the backyard. Trust me on that. I just didn't feel like going into the whole shabeal here on this forum... since I've gone over it fifty+ times on a horse forum I'm on. I know what I'd be getting into. And to be honest... I'd rather use my $1000 that's not in savings for something I ENJOY rather that something that my parents have promised to pay for anyways... and that they get compensation for with their company (my parents are missionaries and we get a budgeted amount of money each month... and food, gas, and non-personal extras are all covered by the company).


Maybe I'm just being silly, stubborn, and stupid. But it's got me this far... which might be a good thing... and it might not be.


I dunno... I'm off to Half-Price Books to invest in a few things. See ya!
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Old 06-09-2010, 11:16 AM   #12
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Remember, too, that even if a doctor doesn't find anything "wrong", she can still tell your parents "your daughter must lose weight. If she does not there is a good chance she will develop diabetes or heart disease later in life. She may have trouble conceiving or carrying children to term. It is an imperative that you provide her with good, healthy food, such as the ones on this list. Under no circumstances should you allow her to eat fried food or sweets more often than [whatever]."

Obviously, your parents can't control your eating, but telling them they can't allow YOU to eat these things also tells THEM they can't have these things be the only thing available to you.
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Old 06-09-2010, 11:47 AM   #13
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I'm sure you know this, but the skinny latte's from starbucks (tall) are only 90 calories!! And they have a new base for frappuccino's, so you can get a nonfat, sugar free frapp for also about 90 calories!!!
If you like latte, I recommend the skinny cinnamon dolce latte. Sooooo good!

As far as your quandry, a couple things. (Please take it or leave it, no need to get defensive)
1. I'm with the person who says once you show them THIS time is different, they will likely back you and be supportive. That comes with being assertive, spending your spending money on healthy food and things conducive to fitness, and overall attitude. (This may take a bit of time to prove that this time is different.
2. In the meantime, you have spending money so you have some control, even if you are only 17. With the airport scenario, I would have just gone to Starbux and order my meal , no need to ask permission since you are 17 and using your own money. Just tell them you'll be right back, no need to go into details. With the amusement park meal, if your mom is paying I would just say what I wanted to order. If she had a problem with it, remain firm. "This is the only thing I want. I can pay the difference, or I can buy it myself" If she persists, so do you. "This is the ONLY thing I want, I don't feel like hot/greasy/fried etc food at the moment. If you won't pay for it, I will pay myself."
As far as cottage food, think if things you enjoy eating tghat are healthy. Make a list, pick them up, and pack them.

With the grocery/supper dilemma, ask mom to keep a shopping list on the fridge. Every week, you can add a few foods that are healthy and that you are interested in eating. It doesn't imact them if they don't have to eat it. You don't have to change the world all by yourself. If she doesn't usully prepare veggie or salad, that can be your contribution . She does the meat; you do the salad. And everyone can benefit.
Good luck and stand firm! No excuses. Where there's a will, there's a way.
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Old 06-09-2010, 11:58 AM   #14
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Really? Could this be something wrong with me... or is it just being tired and not really having a full night of sleep for several weeks due to school and other things? And then a sudden change from healthy eating to eating... well... crap?
Could it be something wrong with you? Yes. But I suspect it is just as you say. I've been there. When you run your body into the ground, it will eventually force you to make up for it. You can sleep for a LONG time, even most of a weekend, because the body needs what it needs. And, definitely, the wrong food can contribute to a lack of energy and sleepiness.

Seeing a doctor is a good idea, but I imagine you really were just making up for lost sleep and eating poorly.

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Old 06-09-2010, 11:59 AM   #15
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I'm not sure how much luck you'll have changing the main course of your family's meals, but you may be able to change some of the side dishes. I had some experience in a household with a vegetarian and some non-vegetarians. We made a meat dish as our main dish, and always had some side dishes that the vegetarian could make a meal out of.

I'd suggest that you ask for one new veg this week, especially something that can work with what your family already eats, and is inexpensive. You say they have tomatoes. Ask for zucchini or cucumbers. Make a salad with the cucumber/tomato, or cook up the zucchini/tomato. Maybe your family will enjoy the new dish, too.

Once you have introduced a new side dish, and your family has eaten it enough so that it's no longer "new" and frightening... introduce a second one. Maybe even the same veg in a different way. Zucchini pancakes are a fun side dish (like potato pancakes only less carb-y). Sure they're fried in a bit of oil, but the veg may offset the fat, depending on your plan.

Over the months, as you introduce new foods and new dishes so that they become "normal", you'll end up with more options.

If you post the sorts of things your family already likes/eats as side dishes, we may be able to suggest similar foods that can be made more healthily. The good part is that we're coming into the summer months, and fresh, tasty food is only a farmer's market or fruit stand away.
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