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How can I feel so good AND so bad at the same time??

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Old 06-01-2010, 08:15 PM   #1
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Default How can I feel so good AND so bad at the same time??

I'm in this weird place right now. Sometimes I'm thrilled with my progress and then suddenly I'm disgusted with myself.

Like today. I was on the treadmill running my 3 miles at 5 mph. I was feeling good! Strong, fit...like I could run forever! The I saw my knees in the mirror and all I could think of was how fat they looked.

I'll feel good that my size 16's are fitting better, then suddenly I'll be mad that I let myself get back into that size in the first place!

I'll see my cool size 8 clothes from when I was 150 (for like, a nanosecond) and be so excited to fit back into them, and then I'll hold them up against myself and think that there is NO WAY they will ever fit me again.

Sigh. Why does this all have to be so EMOTIONAL?
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Old 06-01-2010, 08:17 PM   #2
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I do the same thng. I don't have the answer for you but here is a
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Old 06-01-2010, 08:18 PM   #3
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Awww, I know how hard it is to not let things like that get to you. Do you workout at home? If so, is there a way you can do it without a mirror in front of you? I know if I worked out and had a mirror in front of me, I would definitely be upset all the time at myself. Hang in there
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Old 06-01-2010, 08:49 PM   #4
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I do the saaaaame thing. I'll start feeling good...or I might begin to marvel at how far I've come and it's not like before I think something like, "But geez, look how fat you still are...let's not get cocky..."

I think it's so important to reflect on this journey. Remind yourself of where you were when you started...the things you can do in the gym now that you couldn't, the stuff you can wear now that you couldn't, the foods you resist. And when you're not reflecting, stay as much in the moment and the now as you can. It's better to focus on The Healthy Things I Am Doing Right Now rather than How Faaaaar I Have Left to Go. It's important to keep your goals in mind, but don't let them loom and don't forget to pat yourself on the back for the things you HAVE accomplished.
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Old 06-01-2010, 09:21 PM   #5
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I do the same thing. I'm so proud of myself for how far I've come but there are still times I look in the mirror and think "wow, you've lost 73 lbs but you are still fat!" But I still look way better then when I started so I try to focus on that and know that I will get there eventually! And if I'm really having a bad day I pull out my favorite jeans from when I started my journey and try them on. Now I can fit almost 2 of me in them and that really seems to help me put it into perspective and I feel much better!
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Old 06-01-2010, 09:40 PM   #6
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It really does suck. I think about it and I'm like GO ME, I've lost 75lbs!!! And then I look in the mirror and I see all the bulges and rolls and cellulite and my fat apron (oh fun, right?) and I'm like what the heck am I excited about? I STILL look like crap! It's so frustrating!

We are our own worst enemies sometimes, I think.
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Old 06-01-2010, 11:54 PM   #7
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I do the same thing! Today I weighed myself and i lost a couple of pounds from last week. I was so happy, then i saw myself in a mirror at work and thought i'm huuuge, you can't even tell.
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Old 06-02-2010, 01:01 AM   #8
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I'm usually pretty lucky in this department. I can lose a few pounds and have an empty stomach and feel skinny (for me). I have skinny friends who have worse self image and it's so sad since they're SKINNY. We often don't see the good stuff about ourselves, just the bad. I was about 242 lbs a few years ago and lost about 80 lbs over the course of a year and wasn't where I wanted to be, but saw my b-i-l who I hadn't seen in a year and his mouth dropped open and he said, "you're gorgeous" and it was the first time I felt gorgeous in a long, long time. I lost more and have gained back 30 lbs, but remember that it wasn't at my low when that happened, but halfway between that low and now, so that's encouraging me to get back on the horse.
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Old 06-02-2010, 10:01 AM   #9
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I do this too. One moment I will feel so pretty and proud and the next moment, I will be in front of the mirror looking at my fat pouch or huge bat wings. It's down right embarrassing when I reach for something at a store and my 4 inches of arm flab swings out so fast I almost have to duck and take cover I think I am more conscious of my flaws now that I have lost some weight. I used to be so out of touch with myself and in denial over how I looked. We are definitely our worst critics. Hang in there, we all need to make peace with ourselves in our own time
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Old 06-02-2010, 10:34 AM   #10
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I have no advise to give... I just want to say that I know exactly how you feel.
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Old 06-02-2010, 02:24 PM   #11
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Oh yeah, I do this too. I think it's a really good sign, truthfully, of your mental state. Like, it shows how hard you are working, how far you've come (emotionally, physically, whatever) to be that annoyed that you ever NEEDED to come this far and work this hard. Or maybe its that its not nearly as hard as we had feared, and so we're angry we didn't try sooner.

I don't know, I just know that people around here who feel really good at what they're doing, and really disgusted by what they used to be/do seem to succeed more than people who are just focus on being disgusted, or aren't "disgusted" enough.
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