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Confession... and a Victory.

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Old 05-22-2010, 10:09 PM   #1
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Default Confession... and a Victory.

OK... so... I've been lying to myself. And I guess to you guys along the way.

I DO have cholinergic urticaria. And it DOES get really bad, to the point where I can't even stand without feeling like I'm about to black out, barf, both, or just drop to the floor.

But I realized today that I am ABLE to push through it. Maybe it was just that today wasn't bad. I don't know.

Well... I began to feel the overwhelming urge to go outside and run. So... I went and found a C25K podcast with songs I'd enjoy listening to. And... I went.

And for the first time EVER, I was able to do the entire Week 1 Day 1 without stopping halfway through, or stopping and moaning and groaning about my head, my legs, my extremely itchy arms and head (and yes, they were EXTREMELY itchy), etc. I did the entire thing. And that was good.

And... does anyone else do this while they exercise? In order to keep me going, I kept telling myself in my head "you're strong, powerful, sexy, strong, motivated, sweet, kind, beautiful, hott, awesome, powerful, sexy... (I think you get the point).

So... I guess this was a breakthrough for me. A victory. And the confession was that I've been lying to myself and to you. I CAN do it. I just need to actually do it.

I'm actually looking forward to my next run. Which'll probably be either tomorrow evening or monday evening. I am only willing to run in the evenings. I can't do it during the day. Hot texas sun? No thanks. And in the morning I'm so out of it that I don't want to. So... yeah. Hopefully I can do this. I CAN do this. Need to stop saying "hopefully" or "soon" or "will". But... NOW. DO IT. AAAAARGGHH!!! (happy arr scream... y'know... the kind they use in movies to show how 'pumped up' and excited they are? )
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Old 05-22-2010, 11:14 PM   #2
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Congratulations! That must have been so tough, but way to go on persevering! I am standing up and applauding - no, really!
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Old 05-23-2010, 03:04 AM   #3
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Congratulations running despite your medical condition. The itching sounds extremely unpleasant. I have such a great feeling about my body when I run. I feel strong and attractive even when much thinner people race right by me. Our bodies are beautiful, graceful, and strong despite whatever layer of extra we have on top of our muscles.
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Old 05-23-2010, 03:54 AM   #4
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congrstulations!!! seriously you have got motivation and strength!!! wohhooo
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Old 05-23-2010, 10:24 AM   #5
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You have my total sympathy and admiration. I had CIU (hives of unknown origin) for nearly a year which were constant but got worse if I got hot so even daily walks were out while Dr's tried to get it under control.

That was the most miserable year of my life. I'm in awe of you.
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Old 05-23-2010, 10:48 AM   #6
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Thanks for celebrating your victory with us. I've been slacking this morning about working out and after reading your post, I'm reminded that I have NO excuse good enough! I hope you continue to run, congratulations! :-)
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Old 05-23-2010, 11:45 AM   #7
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I do the hives thing--I've had them from the top of my scalp to between my toes without any surface free of them--eyelids and the edges of my ears and between the fingers and toes are the worst. I will say that as I have lost weight and improved my overall health, they have been much, much better. They still pop up with temperature changes, mildew, or stress--my big three triggers--but not nearly as bad, and they don't last nearly as long.
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Old 05-23-2010, 02:21 PM   #8
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Thanks guys. I wasn't expecting these kinds of responses... but thanks. You guys are making me feel all that more empowered... which I guess is where the GOOD cycle comes in... when one person feels good, others do, and then that one person feels better because everyone else is... etc.

Now... to put this attitude onto HOMEWORK. Urgh... I have 7 days of school left (not including weekends). I'm ready for it to be OVER.
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Old 05-23-2010, 07:41 PM   #9
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Wow...Good for you. Its not lying..you just were not ready to push yourself. You understand your limitations. You know how far you can push yourself now. Its a fantastic breakthrough. You should be proud of yourself.
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Old 05-23-2010, 07:46 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Serbrider View Post
Now... to put this attitude onto HOMEWORK. Urgh... I have 7 days of school left (not including weekends). I'm ready for it to be OVER.
Not as ready as your teachers. Trust me on this.
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Old 05-23-2010, 07:56 PM   #11
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Sweetie, don't worry about us. I'm glad you have discovered the excuses (not lies, but exaggerations, perhaps) that you were giving yourself. Logically, if you can ride a horse you can do other physical activites with the same or similar degree of physical comfort or discomfort. I'm so happy for you that you could push through it and find a way to make things work. I think I've mentioned to you before somewhere that where there's a will, there's a way. I hope you find a path where you love yourself more than you hate exercise. If running isn't for you, then swim, or walk, or ride a bicycle...there are lots of activities that count as exercise and no single way is equally good for everyone. If you find something you like to dol then it's so much easier t do it.

Congratulations on your self-discovery and the triumph you've made! HUGS!!

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