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Old 05-20-2010, 08:51 AM   #1
live ur life
caliyah's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 406

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Default how u see yourself VS how others see you


So i've had this issue come up a lot lately. I grew up as the big girl..I've basically been overweight since I was a child and have been up to nearly 250 at one point and never went under 200. Now that I've finally started losing the weight and stayed consistent I've noticed that when I see a lot of people at the gym and talk about how I am trying to lose more weight I've been getting a lot of negative responses. I still see myself as the fat girl and talk like I'm still the fat girl but people lately have been talking to me as if I'm crazy to even think about my weight because I look 'skinny' to them (I guess my height hides my weight well), my friend even told me she thinks I have self esteem issues because I am continuing on my weight loss journey, and on top of that my overweight friends are always telling me now that they can't relate to me because they see me as skinny girl who has it easier.

My whole identity, personality and attitude is based on me being the fat girl, I identify the most with people who struggle with their weight and now my interactions have started 2 become awkward, when I look in the mirror I still see the fat girl but people around me keep telling me you look normal not overweight. I just feel like I'm in a weird place now. Anybody else go through this?
Losetogain: If you don't quit, you can't fail.
Rocky Balboa: You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done.
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Old 05-20-2010, 09:15 AM   #2
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Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 3,855

Height: 5'8"


I don't share my story with people in RL. I'm the same height with similar goal as you.

I do remember the last time I was in the 180's... about 25 lbs from goal. I was in the land of weird... getting a lot more attention for my looks than I am used to from relatives, men, and so on. Even though I didn't share my weight loss efforts, I'd gotten to the place where it was very noticeable.

I started experiencing this weird body image feeling like what was in my head was not what really was.

I also started experiencing friends putting down my choices. Like if we ate out, they'd yank my chain for one thing or the other. Like I couldn't just eat in peace... everyone had to check out my plate. Those who'd been supportive no longer were.

Very strange. I rebounded and gained... so I don't know what it will be like when I'm back at under 200.

Started Jan 2016:

Last edited by astrophe; 05-20-2010 at 09:16 AM.
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Old 05-20-2010, 09:38 AM   #3
Shifty Werewolf
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Vermont, USA
Posts: 1,011

S/C/G: 265/196/150

Height: 5'5"


This website offers some insight.


If I type in my starting weight (285) it says the "people's choice" weight for me is 192. However, if I type in 200 (as my pretend current weight), then the people's choice weight for me is 156.

I think it can be hard for folks who have always seen you as "a fat girl" to wrap their minds around a real skinny minnie image. Plus I know most people are terrible at guessing weights. There's no question in my mind that when i was 285 pounds and very obviously obese, that friends would have been shocked if I said I wanted to lose 135 pounds. "oh no, that's too much" etc even though it would just get me to the top of a healthy BMI.

"Vision without action is a daydream ~ Action without vision is a nightmare"
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Old 05-20-2010, 10:05 AM   #4
poco a poco
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 495

S/C/G: 246/166.5/158

Height: 5'5"


When I saw the title of your post I immediately thought of Robert Burns:
"Oh, would God the giftie gi'e us
to see ourselves as ithers see us"

The point being, we can't, of course. Keep on keeping on, don't worry about what others think (and try to avoid tossing your head too much when you're wearing a hat with new ribbons)
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