Please help me feel empowered... I need to lose 50 lbs.
 

I am so upset right now because, probably, hormones got the best of me today and I realized how much I've backpeddled since last year. When my boyfriend and I met, I was at 198 and on my way to 160. My highest weight was 240 a number of years ago (I am only 26) and my lowest was 138. I ballooned at the age of 17 because of poor diet, and at 18 because of prednisone I was at 200. I continued to gain not knowing how to eat right... it was just something not taught in my household.

I am embarrassed to say I weigh 224. I actually weigh more this morning because I had salt overload, which caused an additional 6lbs of water retention. I just want to be 160. That's all. And it seems SO far away.

I have started a cardio reginmen of 45 mins 6x/week elliptical (and high intensity). I don't eat out, I've seriously cut out everything bad I could imagine but I have a sweet tooth since gaining the weight last year. My boyfriend is also overweight and while he would like to lose weight, he isn't doing it. He keeps all sorts of snacks in the house and I have finally gotten to the point where I have NO interest in eating them.

I just want to know that this is possible. We're getting engaged this year, the ring has been chosen and I'm "waiting" essentially. I don't want to be fat when I announce our engagement. So, I'd like to be AT MOST 180 within the next 5 months. That would be a 40lb loss. Is this possible or reasonable?

I'm also confused about calorie requirements. When I lost weight last year, I only at once a day. I assume this is how everything piled back on because when I started dating - we ate. I want to do this the right way.

Any advice or encouragement is appreciated.

You're being very hard on yourself and setting some seriously tough and restrictive goals. Take it easy!

Do you have a certain time you want to be engaged by? If you're quite relaxed about it then maybe tell your SO to wait until he thinks it's "the right time" for you. Although this might be a bit dangerous for your self esteem...


It's great that you are here. Joining these forums and having 3FC support makes this journey much easier and means if/when you do have a relapse you get come straight on here to get your frustrations out of your system and get back on track!

Don't beat yourself up so much! Set some realistic targets. A major downfall of mine was always to try and do everything at once, so at the moment I'm concentrating on diet and adding a bit of cardio here and there, as I can't seem to be perfectly on plan with everything all at once.

Good luck!

Oh it's possible. WEight loss IS a doable thing. Check out this thread from the 100lb club.

http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/100-...-possible.html

This was my initial post from that thread. But please look over the entire thread.

Oh, it's possible.

I will tell you though, for years (decades in fact) I kinda knew it was possible - but perhaps for others - not me. I didn't think *I* was capable of it. I didn't think that I could do it. Others, maybe - me - nu-uh, just didn't have what it takes. I had no strength, no will power, zero control. Until one day I realized - well why the heck NOT me???

How do you do it? You DECIDE to. You realize that you don't have to be fat if you don't want to be. That it really and truly IS within your hands, your power, you hold the key. It's a choice. It's a choice to get fat. It's a choice to lose the weight.

DECIDE to do this, commit to do this and than go out there and be WILLING to do what's necessary to MAKE it happen.

For me that was accepting the fact that I had to completely overhaul my eating/exercise habits. Accept it, and realize that it was worthwhile of all the time and effort it required. I was done being fat. I was done settling for second best when first best was well within my reach. I was done turning to food for *comfort* which was not so darn comforting at all. It brought on waaaay more problems than it solved. I no longer settled for a quick, short-lived fix. I no longer settled for food that just tasted good - it had to be good for me too. I raised my standards.

And I set myself up for success.

I rid my home of the junk and made it off limits to me. It was freeing, not restrictive as I always feared it would be. After a couple of, I'm not gonna lie - really hard weeks - it became pretty darn *easy*. I got more and more into it. The less and less I had of *those* foods, the less I wanted it. It was nothing short of miraculous to me.

And I discovered, seeked out, other foods - delicious, satiating, healthy foods - that tasted good and was good for me- long after I was done chewing. It was a win/win situation.

I also counted/still count calories - as it's built in accountability and forced portion control - something I needed/still do.

And I planned/still plan AHEAD. Everything gets mapped out ahead of time. I know where each meal/snack is coming from. Too important, too risky to take chances. This is vital to me. Failing to plan IS planning to fail. Eating healthy won't happen on it's own. It takes intentional thought and effort. Any time spent on it is more than well worth it!! By like a lot. A real LOT.

Adhering to a healthy lifestyle is no burden, but a joy and a blessing. It's simply what I should have been doing all along. I don't drive recklessly, not sure why I thought it was okay to EAT recklessly.

So yes, it's possible. For any one and every one. Yourself included!!! We ALL have the ability to do it. Provided you DECIDE to.

I also didn't focus on the large number. I focused on the behaviors. I knew that as long as I kept at this, as long as I ate well and moved myself (food 80% exercise 20%) that there was no way possible that I COULDN'T lose. As long as I kept on going, continued on and didn't stop then it would all come off. Each and every excess pound.

Don't dread these much needed changes - but look forward to them. A whole new, BETTER life is waiting for you. Go out there and take it. It's yours for the taking. Be all that you can be. Stop being enslaved to food and start being invigorated by it. I'm certain, absolutely certain you won't regret it. In fact, you will wonder why you didn't do it earlier.



Now as far as your SPECIFIC goal, 40 lbs in 5 months - if and it's a big if, IF you are EXTREMELY consistent with your eating plan and exercise, it's *possible*. IF you are consistent though, the 40 lb loss still might not occur, perhaps it would be 30 lbs - which ain't too shabby either!!!

Like Rockin Robin said, if you are EXTREMELY consistent, it is possible. 2 lbs/ week is reasonable. However, when i first started, I had about the same goal (50 lbs in 4 months) and I've lost 55 lbs in nine months, so obviously, wasn't as diligent as I originally thought I would be. Even two weeks exactly on plan is not easy, so while sometimes I wish it had come off faster, at the same time, I think my weight loss has been realistic, and I'm much more likely to keep it off. I can't tell you how many times I've gone off plan the past nine months, and I could beat myself over it, but this is my LIFE. It's not realistic for me to go through thanksgiving and christmas not going over my calories... it's not realistic for me to swear off alcohol b/c of the carbs and calories. So while like Rockin Robin says, it can be done, please don't be too hard on yourself!

My biggest piece of advice is this: when it feels overwhelming, remember to take it one "decade" at a time. I remember after losing 25 lbs and got down to 170 I was happy, but then I realized "dear God. I'm not even halfway there yet." So I just focused on getting to the 160s. And when I got to the 160s I focused on the 150s. And before I knew it, here I am on the brink of getting into the 130s. Seriously, just yesterday it felt like I couldn't wait to get to the 150s.


Good luck!!

The thread Robin suggests reading is an EXCELLENT read! ;) Highly motivating!

I suggest adding resistance training to your workouts. Muscles burn calories even at rest. Cardio alone burns muscle along with the fat, something you do NOT want. You want to lose FAT.

Please, please don't eat one meal a day. ;) You'll find many of us around here eat frequent meals/snacks to keep the metabolism revved. I personally eat what I call six "mini meals" per day, of equal caloric value. You've already noticed the affects of eating one meal a day in that you gained it all back and quickly when you went back to normal. I highly suggest finding a new normal...something you can stick with, really stick with, not just now but for life. Everything I do is totally sustainable. (With the exception of my exercise because I am a total nut. But I know I can back that down without quitting altogether.) SUSTAINABLE. It's key. The other key word for me is PATIENCE.

You can announce your engagement any time. And you can wait however long you want between that announcement and actually getting married.

I'm not seeing why you are mixing your fitness goals with your relationship milestones -- seems like needless pressure.

Are you saying that if you don't reach your goal in that time, you are going to skip out on engagement and marriage?

You cannot eat just once a day. Your calorie need will depend on your age, height, gender, and activity level. There are other online calculators for "calorie need" like this one:

http://www.ahealthyme.com/topic/calneed

Once you figure that out, find a sensible plan. Here are a few printable calorie plans -- scroll down to the middle and see the red links on the side:

http://diabeticgourmet.com/Food_and_...Meal_Planning/


And spend some time at the library reading more about general nutrition so you can better fine tune all this for your needs.

GL!
A.