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Self-saboteurs out there?

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Old 05-16-2010, 12:25 AM   #1
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Default Self-saboteurs out there?

So, I've been on this plan for over a month now and I feel great. I'm losing at a steady rate. I wish it were faster, but I'm pleased that it's consistently headed down and that I haven't once deviated from the plan. I don't think I've ever followed a program without setbacks for this long. There's something different about this time, I think I'm really ready to do this for myself.

But, sometimes when I'm feeling proud of myself for things going so smoothly, I'm reminded of past attempts at weight loss. I have a history of getting so close to my goal and then totally sabotaging all my hardwork. I let one moment of weakness become months of bingeing. Then I get frustrated and give up completely and I inevitably gain back all the weight I lost (and then some!). This vicious little cycle got me all the way up to 305 pounds. While it feels entirely different this time, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't at least mildly concerned that I'll fall into old patterns.

I guess what I'm wondering is...how have you all dealt with this?
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5% weight loss: Met 05/02/2010
10% weight loss: Met 06/24/2010

No longer morbidly obese:
20% weight loss:
30% weight loss:

No longer obese:

40% weight loss:
Lowest adult weight:
Normal weight range!!:

50% weight loss:
Goal weight 135-140:

Last edited by Viviane : 05-16-2010 at 12:27 AM.
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Old 05-16-2010, 01:28 AM   #2
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Hi... I definitely self sabotage too. I think I am scared of success.

I have felt myself slipping back into that pattern recently and am trying to stop things before I totally self sabotage. I think awareness, knowing what the problem is, that's half the battle.

Maybe try to process why you want to sabotage yourself? Are you scared of what will happen when you lose the weight? I find journaling helps me and so does talking to people I trust about these things.

I hope I helped...
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Old 05-16-2010, 01:38 AM   #3
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One of the things that has helped me stay on track is giving up black-and-white, all or nothing thinking about my ability to stay on plan. I now know that I will have times that I eat the wrong things or eat too much. In the past, I would have used that as an excuse to continue eating junk for a week or so. Then I would beat myself up over it and start the cycle over again. Dieting is hard because you do have to exercise a lot of self control.
But the thing about it is that we are all human and we all have weak moments of eating badly. To me, I now expect these little relapses, recover quickly, and get back to eating right. That is a key difference in my thinking now as opposed to all the other years that I have tried to lose weight. To me, eating on plan starts in the brain, not in the mouth. You have to change your thinking as well as your eating. It's not easy, but it's not impossible either! We'll be rooting for you!
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Old 05-16-2010, 07:29 AM   #4
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I'm in exactly the same boat. And I mean exactly, I have no idea how things will go but I am trying the "Beck Diet Solution Guide". It gives you tasks every day, slowly building up your powers of resistance over food. Works with any plan you choose We'll see how it goes! Good luck, stay positive! xx
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Old 05-16-2010, 02:08 PM   #5
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I've self-sabotaged so many times I can't count. That's why I signed up here. Hopefully to gain and give encouraging feedback to people like me! I lost over 40 pounds by joining a gym and hiring a personal trainer, then something came up and I had to go out of town for a while and bam! 9 pounds later... It may not sound like much but if I keep eating like this, it will turn into 19, then 29... you get the picture.
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Old 05-16-2010, 03:30 PM   #6
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great Q

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cglasscock1 View Post
One of the things that has helped me stay on track is giving up black-and-white, all or nothing thinking about my ability to stay on plan.
yes, I think this is true for me too. if I go off, it doesn't mean I've ditched my healthier eating/exercise ways, only that I had a glitch and must climb back on the horse, so to speak.

I also see myself as having changed, my outlook and habits, even if I do still struggle.
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Old 05-16-2010, 06:05 PM   #7
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That's been my life since I was 11. Not fun. I wish you luck... You can do it... maybe... see nothing as a failure? But a necessary part of the process?
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Old 05-16-2010, 06:56 PM   #8
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I also feel like this, and in exactly the same way. This time feels much different for me too, and I am learning (in bits and pieces) to trust that my mind and body are trying to tell me something. I think all-or-nothing thinking got me into this mess too. What helps for me is knowing that I will have setbacks, and though I never plan for a setback, I do plan how I will deal with them. Instead of focusing on not "ruining" my diet, I plan out ways to deal with it when (not if, no one is perfect) it happens. As of right now, my plan is to care for myself by taking a hot bath, reading a good book or writing in a journal if I have a slipup. I will start again at the next meal or the next day. I reward myself for good eating and exercise behavior with non-food items like a new shirt or a movie or something. This sort of planning has helped me to stay on course (6 weeks so far) and realize that this diet is all about the journey and not the destination. Good luck and keep going!
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Old 05-16-2010, 08:13 PM   #9
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i have definitely done this. its an "all or nothing" mentality like another poster said. now when i slip up and get off track i use those previous experiences as motivation.

a few years ago i lost 40 lbs. i was stuck at 180 for a month before i just gave up. before i knew it i was back at 220 desperately wishing i was still stuck at 180.

this time around i stuck at 180 for SIX weeks. i was totally on plan. it was soo frustrating. then my body just decided it was time to move on. i remembered that feeling of seeing 220 on the scale again and wishing i was at 180 and knew i never wanted to relive that moment. after i stuck it out long enough, the scale finally budged. just think about how many times you've gotten back up to your high weight. if you're anything like me, you were always thinking, man.. if i had just stayed on track since then i'd probably be almost done by now!
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Old 05-17-2010, 11:42 AM   #10
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Sometimes I feel like the number 1 reason why I haven't lost all the weight I've wanted to for the past 15 years or so. Other times I KNOW that I am the reason that I haven't lost all the weight I've wanted to. Like others have said, I still battle my self-sabatoging urges. Some days I win and others I lose. What's different this time for me is that as long as I can have more good days than bad, I feel victorious. When I do have a bad day, I feel upset about it but I don't beat myself up like I used to. I am really working hard to change my internal tape recording to say positive things instead of berrating myself. When I have a bad eating time, I acknowledge it and have to move on. I just have to. I am still at the beginning of this journey and I need to be as strong as I can. I also try to look at it very much like recovery....I take things 1 day at a time, 1 meal at a time to be perfectly truthful. I write down everything I eat, I try to plan out all of my meals for the week, I journal about my feelings, and I post and do a lot of reading here. I try to keep these positive staples in place so that when I do fall off the horse, it will be just a little easier to get back on. I hope.

My advice to you is to go easy on yourself. We are human, we will make mistakes. Remember your past attempts and why they may have failed. Sit with those emotions but don't be defined by them. Remember those feelings but forgive yourself for all of them and let them go. Try to create new feelings of how well you're doing on your journey. Even if you've just started today. Reward yourself with positive thoughts of taking that first step and realizing that you ARE worth all of this hard work.

Keep your chin up. You're doing a great job!!! We're all in it with you!!!
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Old 05-17-2010, 11:53 AM   #11
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Last week, I completely lost it on my program and went crazy with food. I started to believe that I'm not meant to be at goal weight. And then I told myself that this part of the journey is the same as it was 40 pounds ago. It's just one day at a time. I'm back on track after a few days of panic. I think this journey gets scary sometimes & I lapsed into old habits - turning to food for answers.
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Old 05-17-2010, 03:38 PM   #12
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I sabotage myself every chance I get if I allow it. Soda, chips, chewy candies, high calorie breads, too much pasta... You get the idea. I walked off 35 pounds in 8 months after I had my son 10 years ago... I felt great at 180. I could walk wherever I pleased without getting winded, I could get away with shorts if I shaved my legs, I didn't mind wearing tank tops...

And then it stopped being important. All I wanted to do was hide away. So I started overdoing it with all the foods they tell you to stay away from. I was always buying junk food. I was guzzling soda like it was going out of style. I hated wearing tank tops and avoided shorts altogether.

What was my trigger? It was my past. At that time I was still living with the person who caused me so much pain and who totally destroyed my self-esteem without a care in the world. He took a 9 year old girl and he destroyed her, replacing her with a woman who is so insecure about herself that she sabotages every effort she makes to boost her self confidence.

It didn't help that he would buy pizza for supper the first night of his weeks off... And it certainly didn't help that I could eat more than half a pizza by myself.

I think I have it all together and that I can do this... And then something, some fragment of a memory of what he'd done to me, rises to the surface and makes me think of just how ugly I really am.

It's been said that we're our own worst critics... In my case, I am literally my own worst enemy.
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