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Old 05-12-2010, 10:03 PM   #1
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Default I need to lose, she needs to gain...

Help? I am doing the WW thing. I am trying to lose. I have a SO who is ridiculously skinny (same age - we'll both be 30 this year - she is 5'4 112lbs)

She is stressing after her doctors appointment today - as she has lost 7lbs since last visit. She wants to up her caloric intake. Can I say that I hate the fact that she eats everything deep fried?

I am trying to lose - she is trying to gain.

She is trying to be supportive (emailing me the nutritional info of dinner to my work email so I can count points**WW** and totally supporting me)

Now she is asking me how to gain?

I think I gain what she loses. It sucks.

What do I do here? She is more than willing to go with what I want to eat/cook - low cal/low fat/high fiber - but she really needs more than what I take in.

We are a family of 3 (DS 8 - who is a picky eater) I feel so screwed - in that if I want everyone else in my family to be where they should be - my needs fall to the wayside. KWIM?

How do you feed a family of 3 - one underweight, one overweight, and a child that is borderline? Is it worth the money for me to consult a nutritionist?

I'm overwhelmed.
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Old 05-12-2010, 10:44 PM   #2
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Consulting a nutritionist sounds like a great idea. I think that for your partner to put on healthy weight, she's going to need to eat healthy food and get some physical exercise. That might help her put on some muscle. I know that there is a way for you to combine what everyone needs, and with the right help you will be able to do it.

Good luck!! It can be really hard juggling everyone's needs.
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Old 05-12-2010, 10:53 PM   #3
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I think a nutritionist is a good idea. You can learn how to make core healthy foods for every one and then what to add on to the underweight to help them.

Because skinny or not, deep fried isnt healthy. In some ways it is more dangerous for a skinny person to eat bad fats than a fat person because many doctors will not screen a skinny person for cholesterol or heart disease. I know 2 skinny skinny people who by the time they got tested had cholesterol well over 300.

In the mean time start thinking healthy meals for you focusing on lean protein, whole grains, veggies and fruit. and add on extra starch servings, nuts, avocado, olive oil based dressing etc. for her.

i.e. for my dinner the other night I had a fillet of salmon served over a bed of sauteed spinach and tomatoes and some strawberries and a salad with just a spritz of vinaigrette. The rest of the family had the salmon served over whole grain noodles (+150cal) with some parmesan(+25 cal) and salad with olive oil/balsamic dressing(+80 cal), and strawberries and some almonds (+150 cal). = 405 more calories than me. Plus I drank water and dh had a beer and dd had milk.
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Old 05-13-2010, 07:08 AM   #4
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Look into Ensure and Pediasure for your SO and DS. Pediasure has been a miracle for my ds. They are both designed for healthy weight gain. Also there is a product called Ensure Enlive which is a clear liquid that tastes like apple sauce but has 200 healthy calories. It should satisfy even the most picky eater.

I like to cook a tasty low cal dinner and then add sides that are dense and high in good fats. Your so and ds eat the sides but you will have to skip them. For example I like to cook a meal with pasta, spaghetti squash, low fat marinara sauce and cheese sauce. The kids have pasta and cheese sauce with the squash as a side veggie, my husband has pasta and marinara sauce and I have spaghetti squash and marinara sauce. Another trick I like is to make a salad and then have nuts as a topping but I don't have the nuts.

Good luck and remember that you can't take care of your family if you don't take care of yourself!
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Old 05-13-2010, 09:52 AM   #5
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I have a similar issue with my fiancee, though his daughter does not live with us. He's underweight and I'm overweight. What I do with dinner, is he takes two thirds of the portions made and I take the rest. This way he's getting a lot of good food (a meat, vegtable, and starch) and I'm getting smaller portions of it then what I would normally.

It's too early to see how it's going (his metabolism is way to fast), but I have been losing weight slowly.
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Old 05-13-2010, 12:36 PM   #6
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Adding healthy calories is actually pretty easy. Nuts, nut butters, olive oil, and the like are high in calories but also small in quantity and good for you. You can even add a scoop of protein to oatmeal in the morning. You can also make oatmeal with lowfat milk instead of water. There are lots of choices.

She could add almonds to yogurt. She could have a slice of wheat or whole grain bread with peanut butter, or peanut butter on a stalk of celery or on an apple or some such. She could add avocado to a sandwich. She could have a hard-boiled egg with breakfast or a baked potato with dinner. There are lots of fast, small, healthy options that would not affect your meal plan at all.

I have to eat up to 3,500 calories a day. I've gotten pretty good at adding foods that are high in calories but small in quantity and good for you. It can be done.

But, yeah: the fried foods really have to go.

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Old 05-13-2010, 05:12 PM   #7
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your SO needs a physical exam. Unexplained weight loss can be a sign of myriad illnesses.

I have a SO and 2 growing healthy weight sons and do what the others do - have sides that i don't eat with meals. I make 2-3 veggie choices that we can all eat, plus a starch that i will avoid and they fill up on plus a source of protein.

good luck. hope there is nothing medically wrong with your partner
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Old 05-13-2010, 10:03 PM   #8
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SO= navy vet. So there is consistent medical care going on - not that it's the best

She was a preemie (sp?) Under 3 lbs (twin) at birth so people, doctors included, like to blame her size on that. Plus, I think she has some twisted super spastic metabolism LOL

I did find one side that I <3 so much - but can't have at the moment - fried potatos+yellow squash - that her and DS really like. She tends to skip breakfast - so I am trying to get her to incorporate that. I tried Ovaltine too - but she didn't like it.

I live with the most picky eaters in the northern hemisphere I swear!!!! She is a huge fan of olive oil though....and open to trying anything that she is not allergic to so I am going to try and find some "real" calories to feed her vs. empty/fatty filling things that she has been trying to pack on the pounds.

Thanks for all the responses!
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