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Dealing with other large people

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Old 05-10-2010, 12:51 AM   #1
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Default Dealing with other large people

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Old 05-10-2010, 12:53 AM   #2
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Maybe she is jealous of you losing weight?
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Old 05-10-2010, 01:47 AM   #3
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well thats the thing though is she is losing weight too, shes lost about 60 lbs so far...
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Old 05-10-2010, 01:53 AM   #4
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Sounds to me like she was fishing for some clues on how much weight you have lost and thought that was the way to go about it. She was also trying to fish for some compliments for herself. People are funny sometimes! Try to keep your sense of humor!
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Old 05-10-2010, 07:29 AM   #5
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Wow, let that go right by. Think of it as an honest mistake. A lot of people have no idea what size other people wear. I sure don't! And besides, why would you let this little thing throw you? Life isn't a contest...

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Old 05-10-2010, 07:45 AM   #6
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Quote:
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Wow, let that go right by. Think of it as an honest mistake. A lot of people have no idea what size other people wear. I sure don't! And besides, why would you let this little thing throw you? Life isn't a contest...

Jay
I agree with JayEll-I don't think I would take anything personal from this-it may just mean that her thought process differs from yours a bit. Congrats to the both of you on shedding pounds! I notice, too, that my "perception" of my shrinking size is somewhat skewed. I definitely feel thinner than my pictures show-but thats ok, too.

Best wishes!
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Old 05-10-2010, 07:52 AM   #7
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I agree with others to just let it go. She probably has a VERY unrealistic idea of how big she still is compared with others. If it helps her continue to lose that is good for her. Just don't let is bother YOU.
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Old 05-10-2010, 09:10 AM   #8
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I agree with JayEll. Just assume it is an honest mistake and let it roll off of your back. I imagine your neighbor does not see herself as others do. We talk about it alot here. Our minds play strange tricks on us. Looking in the mirror many of us don't see the weight as we put it on while many others of us still see the weight on our body even after we have lost it. She is probably just not seeing right!
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Old 05-10-2010, 09:27 AM   #9
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I too would say she doesn't realize how big she is...I never did until I saw pictures of me next to people I thought were BIG...lol .

I'd say if you want to help her out, agree to try on some of her clothes she has offered, (shrunk out of...)try them on at her house and ask her opinion on how they fit, etc. When she sees that they are too big for you, she'll understand.

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Old 05-10-2010, 09:51 AM   #10
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My size range right now is a 10/12 (mostly 12's). Last week when I was watching The Biggest Loser, Sunshine was swimming in a size 12 skirt. I was shocked to say the least. I think, in fact I know, I am WAY smaller than her. I can't remember what she was at her weigh in, but I know it was something in the 170s or 180s so she has a good 20 lbs on me, but sure enough we are the same size. Now I don't know how tall she is, but like I said I know she looks bigger than me. Now I'm not saying that you look bigger than this girl, but maybe her perception is that you are bigger than her and she was just was just trying to be nice because having lost 60lbs she knows how expensive it is to have to keep buying clothes on this journey. I don't know... I think it's one of those things you just have to let role off your back because in the big picture, does it really matter...
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Old 05-10-2010, 11:01 AM   #11
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Quote:
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I agree with others to just let it go. She probably has a VERY unrealistic idea of how big she still is compared with others. If it helps her continue to lose that is good for her. Just don't let is bother YOU.

I agree with the bolded. That being said, it prob would bug me to think someone larger than me thought they were smaller then me, at first thought at least.
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Old 05-10-2010, 11:19 AM   #12
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True guys, true.

just seemed "outlandish"
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Old 05-10-2010, 11:22 AM   #13
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I should show you a picture of my self from the neck down and her... it just surprised me thats all because in my mind there is NO comparision.
Okay!
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Old 05-10-2010, 12:02 PM   #14
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It's just easier to me to assume positive intent and say "Thanks for thinking of me! But I'm fine. How about donating to Goodwill? Or Salvation Army?"

and move on.

That's how I'd deal with it. I don't need the clothes, I don't need my brain space taken up by dwelling on "what if she isn't saying this with positive intent? What if she's fishing? What if she's thinking I'm fat? etc."

I have enough baggage to carry without

a) Making some new baggage for myself
b) Taking on other people's baggage.

A.
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Old 05-10-2010, 12:11 PM   #15
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I'm guilty of not knowing how big I am sometimes. It's years and years of living in denial. In my mind I'm really skinny. I don't think this way on purpose or to hurt anybody else's feelings. So don't worry about it, she's just hypersensitive about her weight and to be honest you sound to be just as sensitive as she. Let's get past these petty fears and appreciate ourselves and everyone around us for who they are.
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