woot woot!!! I'm excited for you too! i agree 100% The more weight i lose the happier i feel. LOL like you i'm excited for the "Skinny sex" HAHAHA = awesome.
There are many reasons people are overweight or obese. Your attitude is fabulous and definitely a joy to read and hear about, but there are those of us who use food as a coping mechanism. In that way, losing all the weight doesn't mean the means of coping have found a healthier alternative.
I have gained and lost 100+ pounds 3 times in my life. Each time there was great happiness in all that weight loss brought. I was even able to keep the weight off for 7 years at a time, but when a tragedy happened and all the stress that went with it overwhelmed me, I found myself turning to food for comfort, even though I knew what the result of it would be. I kept deluding myself into thinking that I would be able to stop the behaviour the next day. Well, long story short, those days buildt up upon each other until I was obese again.
I don't mean to rain on your parade, that is not my intention, but merely suggesting why people say that weight loss doesn't solve one's problems. I would say that rather that weight loss isn't an automatic protection from gaining it back, especially when life does one of it's hard edge turns.
I agree about how good it feels! It's exhilerating to find clothes that fit and feel good on, it is fabulous to be about to move around with ease and there is no comparison to the new found energy level. If one's excess weight came from just eating too much in general, then diligence in portion control can keep one at goal. If one's weight gain came from lack of coping skills or other issues, just losing the weight won't cure them. That's when it is important to work through the issues involved or seeking help in learning how to deal with it all.
Lavendarannn, I completely agree that weight issues are the result of far deeper issues than just "eating too much" 99% of the time. And that being said, I understand what people mean by "losing weight won't solve your problems." In fact, I have preached the same thing before. In some cases, I'll still preach it. I don't believe that getting down to X pounds is going to automatically turn an unhappy person into a happy one. Fitting into a size 2 won't solve your emotional, mental, financial, or social problems.
However, in MY experience, what the original post is about, is the weight loss journey was the first time that I faced my internal issues and reflected on them and consciously made the decision to say "yes, I have some baggage, but I can still be a healthy happy person in spite of it." And this was an unintentional result. When I started losing weight, it was for fairly shallow reasons. I had simplified my weight problem, convincing myself that I just liked food too much. By simplifying the problem, I also simplified the results. I was fat because I liked food too much, if I lost weight, I'd be pretty, and thus happy. Of course the whole situation was much more complex than that. Over the weight loss journey, I've learned volumes about myself. I have confronted and begun the healing process with some of my emotional issues. Issues that I used to cover up with eating a whole cake in the middle of the night by myself.
So no, becoming skinny does not guarantee happiness. But personally, for my own journey, the process of weight loss was a healing one that had many unexpected benefits.
And I dug this up from a post a few weeks ago. This is personally the root of MY reason for weight issues. And of course, these issues manifested themselves in a lack of self control when it comes to food, a desire for food to deal with emotional issues, and just an excessive unhealthy enjoyment of food.
Quote:
My mother is a severe alcoholic. When I was young, she was able to keep herself together with a job and a car, and we would move around to various low cost housing or live with different men. I was always very aware of her addiction though, I'd find the bottles and it caused my parents' divorce. I was alone for most of my childhood, I'm an only child, and she would work late so after school I was home by myself. I never really had the opportunity to practice eating healthy or exercising. I was a smart kid, I knew which foods were good for me and which ones were not, but nobody ever helped me practice healthy habits. There was one entire summer vacation where I sat at home inside alone every single day. A 9 year old kid, at home during summer, watching daytime TV by herself. That's pretty pitiful. I fed myself the only way I knew how, I knew how to make macaroni and cheese, we could afford it, so I ate a lot of it. Over time, I found comfort and entertainment in food. I was bored and unstimulated and probably depressed, food provided an outlet. I was happy and comfortable when I was eating.
As I got older, and went off to boarding school at 15 (like I said, I was a smart kid), I was yet again on my own having to make my own decisions. I could go out to restaurants, eat any food in the dining hall, buy my own candy, it was great. About this time, since she no longer had to be responsible for me, my mom fell apart. Lost her car, lost her job, and floated around to various men.
During college, I drank like a normal college kid does, and everyone warned me that I had the alcoholic gene and I should be careful. I understood this, but alcohol never really did it for me. Sure, I've gotten drunk and had fun a few times, and I don't mind a beer in the right situation, but I have never felt a desire to turn to alcohol for comfort. Because food was my comfort. If I was sad, I would eat. If I was stressed, anxious, happy, bored, relaxed...I would eat. Food is my addiction. I do have an addictive personality, but food was my drug of choice where my mother chose alcohol.
The last I have heard about my mother was she was in jail for awhile and is now living at a homeless shelter. She just couldn't kick her addiction, and it will most certainly kill her. I am proud that I have gotten control of my addiction. I know I'll always struggle with it, and I'll always have to understand that food is a balancing act for me. Healthy and nutritious food that I can enjoy versus food that I'm devouring to find some comfort.
Whew, sorry for the long post. This has become kind of a reflective thread for me, lol. I don't normally talk about myself so much, haha!
Mkendrick, it sounds like you have done a fantastic job not only just freeing yourself of extra weight but also freeing yourself of so much emotional baggage. You should be very proud of yourself. Keep it up! Hold on to those lessons you learned, girl. I'm so glad that this experience has been so positive for you!
I hear ya on that! How long did it take for you to lose the weight? were you on any specific diet plan? I'm new here by the way so excuse all the questions
luckyinlife83, first of all, welcome to 3FC and I'm sure you'll find answers to questions you didn't even know you had on here...I certainly have! I got serious about weight loss for the first time in my life (after wanting to lose weight since I was aware of fat people/thin people) in November. So I guess it has taken me about 6 months to lose the weight that I've lost. It's a respectable feat that I am proud of, but not record breaking weight loss speed or anything, lol.
I wasn't really on a specific diet plan. For the first 35lbs or so, I was mentally adding up calories and trying to stay under 1500cal/day. It wasn't exact at all though, I didn't measure, didn't restrict foods, and I didn't record or anything. I wasn't even exercising. But I was actively practicing new healthy habits such as portion control, resisting my old favorites (sweets and fast food) or enjoying my old favorites in strict moderation. I was experimenting with new cooking techniques and new foods. Eating more vegetables instead of pastas and breads. I eventually plateaued at around 150 for about a month. I started exercising and now exercise quite a bit; I think it's silly that it took me so long to get started, but oh well. I also had to start calorie counting for real so I signed up for caloriecount.com and started planning my meals. I'm still not very obsessive about calorie counting, I only measure some things and I'm not too exact about it, I don't obsess about counting calories for everything that goes in my mouth, but I do account for 95% of it.
Basically, I approached the whole thing with a relaxed sort of attitude that I knew I could maintain. I also am very serious about letting myself indulge and enjoy the things that I like. I am eating a chocolate bar this very moment, in fact, lol.
Dang. Dude your post really touched home. I read the entire thing from start to finish, and I relate to you. Both of my parents are alcoholics, but my mom is also mentally ill. My upbringing was creepily similar to yours. Except my rents split up and I had to move in with my dad in high school, and he had no idea how to feel a teenager so he bought whatever I wanted (mac and cheese, ice cream, hot pockets for days, soda), so I gained like, 80 pounds in 3 years.
I wish I'd stopped gaining where you did, but I dunno. I just didn't know when to stop. I changed completely, I used to be shy but spunky and bubbly and weird. I liked talking to people and going out. I became a shy, timid recluse when I gained all that weight. The only thing that is bringing the old me back is weight loss. The more I lose, the more I feel my old carefree self coming back. The more I lose, the more I deal with my past, or rather the easier it is to deal with it. Because when I felt like...worthless, it was hard dealing with stuff that upset me I guess.
Thanks for posting this, and congrats. You're boyfriend is seriously going to pounce on you.
Sometimes that's how it goes - we want to lose weight initially for reasons that are all about the surface, but unexpectedly, as we lose, it becomes about so much more. Ideally it wouldn't require being thin first to become more social, energetic, and open to new experiences, but sometimes things in life kind of happen backwards. We can go after a goal for the wrong reasons, and achieve it, only to find that we got so much more out of it than we had even imagined initially.
Reading this made me really happy. I've been having some motivation issues of late and I keep wondering if suddenly reaching a new number on the scale can really make me happy. And like most things, just hearing one person say that it did, in fact, make them happier as well as healthier, is enough reassurance for me. Thanks so much for that, and keep up the fantastic work! You are looking so great and really are such an inspiration
I totally agree with you! Let's face it. Society often curse the overweights. I am not saying that people who have extra pounds don't look good. I just think that losing weight makes one more acceptable to society while achieving that inner satisfaction and confidence.
Congratulations on a job well done. There are 2 times to enjoy childhood- your own and that with children. The second time is under your control unlike the first.
I don't have much to add, shocking I know, but I wanted to pop in and officially say congratulations! It's been a pleausure reading your posts through this journey.
