Hi Everyone,
I have had a very strange week, and I could use some input from other women who might understand what I am going through.
I have suffered from binge eating my entire life. I also suffer from depression, anxiety and PCOS. Alcoholism and addictions are rampant in my family. This is all connected. I've done a lot of reading about it, and I've come to realize that there is both a physiological and psychological basis for the way that I self-medicate with food.
I finally saw a shrink about it in January, who decided to refer me to an eating disorder specialist. This has been a very long process - long waitlist, etc. While waiting to see the ED guy, I saw an endocrinologist about my PCOS, who put me on metformin (Glumetza). It has really helped with the physiological basis for my binges.
After 5 months, I finally saw the ED guy this past Tuesday. I am so, so upset about what happened. I got there and had tons of paperwork to fill out re: my history (family, health, dieting, etc.). Then I had an hour interview with a psychologist on his team. Then I filled out more paperwork while the psychologist talked to him. Then they called me in.
So the first thing the ED guy says is "Good for you for making it to law school." Then he gives me a few lines about how what really matters in life is health and personality, and that if you have a good personality, people will think you're attractive. I'm sitting there and thinking, ok buddy, save this sh*t - I already know it.
Then he says he has to treat my eating issues as a medical issue. That's fine, I understand. I told the psychologist who interviewed me that I am now on metformin to prevent me from getting diabetes, because women with PCOS are prone to it and I finally saw an endocrinologist who convinced me I should do this for preventive reasons. I also told her that since I started taking met, it has actually curbed my urge to binge because things are working better - but the psychological need to binge is still there.
So what does the ED guy do? He tells me he wants to put me on a new anti-depressant (Wellbutrin), which has the side effect of appetite loss and therefore, weight loss. Keep in mind, I am already on Celexa (the generic version). Then he starts lecturing me on things not to eat -as if I don't already know, and as if I don't make myself feel like crap EVERY SINGLE DAY for not only eating the "wrong" things, but for eating, period. And, to make things worse, he doesn't even grasp the latest science behind how people should actually be eating, especially women with PCOS (low carb is the best way to go).
So I tried to argue with him re: the new anti-depressant, about how I've read a lot about the reasons to be skeptical about their effectiveness and that I didn't want to be on anti-depressants forever, but he wasn't having it. I didn't have a chance to even tell him how much it scares me to be on medication for the purposes of weight loss, because I'm terrified of what would happen when I go off it. How is this a solution for dealing with my urges to binge, and essentially, to hurt myself with food????
I have another appointment with him in 3 weeks. I already called and told his assistant that I'm not taking the Wellbutrin, and that I already know the things I SHOULD do about my weight, but I have trouble doing them and that I felt he was patronizing and judgmental. I need therapy, not more judgment or more meds. Geezus.
Ok, maybe I need more meds - but to jump to that right away? And to give me samples of a particulary strong anti-depressant in the hopes that it will make me lose weight, and not even without thinking about the long-term effects it might have on me?
I mean, seriously - would he tell an anorexic patient the first time he meets her that he's going to prescribe her an anti-depressant because it's primary side effect is an increase in appetite and therefore weight gain? How can he not understand how this would make someone FEEL?
I'm not really sure what my question is here. Maybe I just needed to vent. I am just so disappointed, and so tired of trying to deal with this one my own.