3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community  

Go Back   3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community > Support Forum > Weight Loss Support

Weight Loss Support Give and get support here!

Can fat girls say fat?

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 04-30-2010, 10:57 PM   #1
Member
 
tiggergirl9's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 73

Default Can fat girls say fat?

I just wanted to run this by you guys...

Two of my friends called Shakira fat on the American Idol appearance on their Facebook pages. I agreed she looked like she had gained a few sizes and looked unhealthy for her height. I looked up her height and approximate weight and indeed it was in the overweight category.

So then I mentioned to my bf that my friends and I had thought Shakira looked fat on that show (ps he's a shakira fan the only one I think) and it degraded into an argument where it seemed like he was telling me I could have no opinion on any other person since I myself am overweight.

So what's the protocol these days, am I allowed to use the word fat in public or only between the girls? Am I overreacting to a normal reaction? I cannot imagine doing anything but agree to the person's right to an opinion if my partner were to mention someone I liked had gained weight, worn an outfit they didn't like, grown a third eyeball whatever.
__________________
tiggergirl9 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-30-2010, 11:13 PM   #2
Senior Member
 
kaplods's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Wausau, WI
Posts: 13,361

S/C/G: SW:394/310/180

Height: 5'6"

Default

Overweight or not, you have the right to have and voice an opinion, but so does your boyfriend.

I have to admit that it rubs me the wrong way when I hear anyone criticising celebs for gaining weight, but especially when the person who is criticising is overweight themselves (or has any other noticeable defect). Even if I suspect the comment isn't meant to criticise, the image of the "pot calling the kettle black" comes to mind.
__________________
My Etsy shop (currently closed for the summer)

http://www.dreamstormdesigns.etsy.com
etsy link by permission from 3fc! Want to add yours? Ask them!

Last edited by kaplods : 04-30-2010 at 11:16 PM.
kaplods is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-30-2010, 11:17 PM   #3
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,294

S/C/G: HW:300 Pregnancy: 160/167/185

Height: 5'5"

Default

I may well be over sensitive, but I never use the word "fat" to describe weight*. I've heard too many people use it with too much scorn.


*Unless I am being ironic, or imitating a scornful person, or self-deprecating (and I try to not do that). I never say it in earnest.

Last edited by Shmead : 04-30-2010 at 11:19 PM.
Shmead is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-30-2010, 11:18 PM   #4
Jillian's B!tch
 
beaka's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: The DMV
Posts: 639

S/C/G: 250/ticker/145

Height: 5'5"

Default

Can I say fat in general? Yes. But when I opened the thread I didn't think it would be directed at someone.

I know what it feels like to be called fat. Or feel like people are talking about how fat I am. I don't want to do that to someone else. Do I notice when other people gain weight? Yes. But it's a struggle I know very well. I'm sure that they're very aware of the weight they've gained. Do you think they need your help to figure it out?
__________________


Check out my blog- Healthy Black Girl!

Making it happen.
beaka is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-30-2010, 11:22 PM   #5
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,294

S/C/G: HW:300 Pregnancy: 160/167/185

Height: 5'5"

Default

Oh, and this thread is totally the opposite of what I expected. I expected "can I call people "fat" since I am fat, and it's not meant hatefully", not "can I call people fat even though I am fat, or do I have to wait until I am skinny to use this word to describe someone else?".

Either way, my original position works: no one should call anyone fat. It's mean-spirited.
Shmead is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-30-2010, 11:23 PM   #6
Jillian's B!tch
 
beaka's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: The DMV
Posts: 639

S/C/G: 250/ticker/145

Height: 5'5"

Default

I just googled her. Um... that's definitely not where I would apply the fat label. She doesn't seem to have rock hard abs anymore, but she's not fat.
__________________


Check out my blog- Healthy Black Girl!

Making it happen.
beaka is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-30-2010, 11:32 PM   #7
Senior Member
 
luciddepths's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Saskatchewan, Canada
Posts: 1,040

S/C/G: 225/175/140

Height: 5'6

Default

I dont think we should be calling them or anyone fat.. i duno.. I've seen pics of her and what not and she weighs what 130-150 lbs? imagine if she weighed what i do. .. but shes just gained a few.
__________________
Lose 10 pounds at a time!
every 10 lbs
luciddepths is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-30-2010, 11:35 PM   #8
Senior Member
 
kaplods's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Wausau, WI
Posts: 13,361

S/C/G: SW:394/310/180

Height: 5'6"

Default

I didn't respond to the specifics of the situation, because even if she'd gained 100 lbs, I'd have the same fealings, but after beaka's post, I had to look for myself too, and I also have to admit I couldn't find an "unhealthy" looking "fat" picture of Shakira.

Where did you get her weight, or are you just estimating? Dancers often have a higher BMI than "normal" because they have so much more muscle. They weigh more than they "look" because muscle is more compact than fat.

Also, latin culture appreciates curves more than "white-bread" Americans, so "booty" is a sign of beauty.

I do use the word fat to describe myself and use it without fear or prejudice. I never use it in negative ways as a judgement or criticism. I have used the word about other people, but only in ways that I think the person I'm talking about would approve such as "I think Camryn Manheim and Monique are proof that you can be fat and beautiful).
__________________
My Etsy shop (currently closed for the summer)

http://www.dreamstormdesigns.etsy.com
etsy link by permission from 3fc! Want to add yours? Ask them!
kaplods is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-30-2010, 11:36 PM   #9
Senior Member
 
kaplods's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Wausau, WI
Posts: 13,361

S/C/G: SW:394/310/180

Height: 5'6"

Default

Oh, and of course I wish I was as "fat" as Shakira or even Queen Latifah.
__________________
My Etsy shop (currently closed for the summer)

http://www.dreamstormdesigns.etsy.com
etsy link by permission from 3fc! Want to add yours? Ask them!
kaplods is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-30-2010, 11:45 PM   #10
Loving life!!
 
TJFitnessDiva's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Ponchatoula, LA
Posts: 2,349

S/C/G: 360/159/145

Height: 5' 8"

Default

I just saw her on Ellen and my first thought was that she has a belly dancers body

As for calling anyone fat in a negative way? Why do that? I know how I felt when people called me that to my face & behind my back and I certainly don't want to be hating on anyone esp with weight.
__________________
Tanee

"The most exciting, and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself."


My fan page on facebook! www.facebook.com/taneeisfitforlife
TJFitnessDiva is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-01-2010, 12:01 AM   #11
Member
 
tiggergirl9's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 73

Default

The point of the problem was that my boyfriend acted as though I had no right to criticize anyone about anything that is not perfect on me. My feelings are hurt and my ego is bruised to realize once again that my chosen partner acts cruelly without any consequences.

Ps did I mention my feelings were ouched and perhaps upon reflection it is somewhat cruel to criticize others for whom the criticism serves no useful purpose.
__________________
tiggergirl9 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-01-2010, 12:13 AM   #12
Senior Member
 
kaplods's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Wausau, WI
Posts: 13,361

S/C/G: SW:394/310/180

Height: 5'6"

Default

I think you don't realize that you bruised his ego as well. You said he was a Shakira fan, and your joke about him being the "only one," suggests that you either don't respect him very much for that choice, or are threatened or jealous of it.

It seems to me (so I certainly would understand if your boyfriend took it this way) that you were using the fat comment to poke at him for liking her (whether he only likes her music or thinks she's pretty).

I know if I tease my husband about his celebrity crush (Drew Barrymore) he gets hurt and defensive too. And if I poke him, he may poke back.


As for your bf acting "as though I had no right to criticize anyone about anything that is not perfect on me," I kind of agree. You have the right of course, but he also has the right to express his distaste for the such comments.

I find "pot calling the kettle black" comments inappropriate and distasteful, myself. They're ugly and crude. You don't have to agree, but if you feel you have the right to express all of your opinions freely, then it's only fair for others to express theirs too.

Criticism breeds criticism, even if it's aimed at a third party who isn't present - even when it's a celebrity that is never going to hear the criticism. When a person is being critical of someone else, it tends to be perceived as an open invitation to criticise the critic.

If you can't handle the criticism, it's best not to criticise (and it doesn't matter whether the person you're criticising is present or not, some people will take it as an invitation to critique your behavior as well).

When you judge, it tends to invite judgement. It's just the way people are wired.
__________________
My Etsy shop (currently closed for the summer)

http://www.dreamstormdesigns.etsy.com
etsy link by permission from 3fc! Want to add yours? Ask them!

Last edited by kaplods : 05-01-2010 at 12:33 AM.
kaplods is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-01-2010, 12:14 AM   #13
Senior Member
 
JulieJ08's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: California
Posts: 7,097

S/C/G: 197/135/?

Height: 5'7"

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by tiggergirl9 View Post
I just wanted to run this by you guys...

Two of my friends called Shakira fat on the American Idol appearance on their Facebook pages. I agreed she looked like she had gained a few sizes and looked unhealthy for her height. I looked up her height and approximate weight and indeed it was in the overweight category.

So then I mentioned to my bf that my friends and I had thought Shakira looked fat on that show (ps he's a shakira fan the only one I think) and it degraded into an argument where it seemed like he was telling me I could have no opinion on any other person since I myself am overweight.
Was she on Idol more than once? I just found a video of it, and she was fat and unhealthy looking? I'm completely mystified.
__________________
Started 4/14/08 LINK TO PROGRESS PICS 1/1/2009
"It is impossible to live pleasurably without living wisely, well, and justly, and it is impossible to live wisely, well, and justly without living pleasurably" Epicurus
JulieJ08 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-01-2010, 12:19 AM   #14
Loving life!!
 
TJFitnessDiva's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Ponchatoula, LA
Posts: 2,349

S/C/G: 360/159/145

Height: 5' 8"

Default

I do realize he probably didn't either say the right set of words or maybe the tone but in all honestly if it caused you to do some reflection then it also helped you grow in an important way
__________________
Tanee

"The most exciting, and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself."


My fan page on facebook! www.facebook.com/taneeisfitforlife
TJFitnessDiva is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-01-2010, 12:52 AM   #15
Senior Member
 
kaplods's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Wausau, WI
Posts: 13,361

S/C/G: SW:394/310/180

Height: 5'6"

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by JulieJ08 View Post
Was she on Idol more than once? I just found a video of it, and she was fat and unhealthy looking? I'm completely mystified.
Was that the "Hips Don't Lie" video? If so just WOW! That's my absolute ideal body type. Thin, but not boobless. I think I have a serious girl crush on that body, and the bellydance moves.
__________________
My Etsy shop (currently closed for the summer)

http://www.dreamstormdesigns.etsy.com
etsy link by permission from 3fc! Want to add yours? Ask them!
kaplods is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply
Posts by members, moderators and admins are not considered medical advice
and no guarantee is made against accuracy.


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
"Nice boys don't like fat girls" SCraver 20-Somethings 37 05-02-2010 09:16 PM
Any other short girls out there? (5'2 or under) mermaid20 Support Groups 500 07-29-2009 11:32 PM
Dating Site RANT! |Fat guys DON'T want fat girls. Anniemal General chatter 21 04-09-2008 08:52 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:17 AM.






Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2015, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.3.2