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I can't do this alone anymore.

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Old 04-25-2010, 09:38 PM   #1
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Unhappy I can't do this alone anymore.

It's so hard to do this alone. I have no help from my friends, family or boyfriend. For the longest time, it felt like I was losing. My clothes seemed to just fall off of me. Well after jumping on the scale today, I've realized that I gained 5 pounds from my starting weight and I have no idea how this could have happened without me noticing. And it's not what you think, no I haven't gained muscle.
Without the help from my family, I can't seem to eat the right things although I constantly try to get them to help me out. I play on the WiiFit as much as possible, do stretches every night and even ride the stationary bike. I don't know what to do anymore.
Can someone, anyone please help me?
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Old 04-25-2010, 09:57 PM   #2
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First, let me say that you're not alone. Web-friends aren't the same, I know, but we're definitely here and want to support you.

Why do you think you haven't gained muscle? It sounds like you're doing workouts that would do exactly that. And if your clothes fit better, you probably lost some inches somewhere, right?

Not having support from the people you're with every day makes losing weight a lot harder than it needs to be. Is there deliberate sabotage or is it more subtle? I may be able to offer some suggestions to help if you're comfortable with giving a few more details.

Mostly, I just wanted to offer you some e-hugs because I know you've got to be frustrated.
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Old 04-25-2010, 10:01 PM   #3
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What kind of eating plan are you on? Are you doing Weight watchers, low carb, low calorie? It really is all about the calories in. It really, really is. Exercise is great, and helps, but it's not the cure...less food is.

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Old 04-25-2010, 10:01 PM   #4
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I feel for you and your strugle and I know this isn't easy. How often do you track your weight? Daily? Weekly? There are so many different factors that can change that number in the scale, the biggest one being TOM. Also are you measuring yourself? If you say your clothes are fitting different then maybe you've lost inches that wont reflect on the scale. I hope you don't let this stop you. We all strugle with this! If you aren't getting the proper support at home, then use this great community as inspiration/support!
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Old 04-25-2010, 10:03 PM   #5
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I know I haven't gained muscle because when I lift, it's not any easier, it's harder and I take breaks.
I don't think my family is trying to sabotage me, I think it's just that they really love food and of course its the food that's bad for you that they love the most. I try suggesting my mom to buy fresh meats and let me cook instead of buying frozen mystery meats or going out for dinner.
And sometimes, I just don't feel motivated enough at all and do everything halfway, because what's the point with no support?
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Old 04-25-2010, 10:05 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lori Bell View Post
What kind of eating plan are you on? Are you doing Weight watchers, low carb, low calorie? It really is all about the calories in. It really, really is. Exercise is great, and helps, but it's not the cure...less food is.
I try to count my calories and stay under 10 times my weight everyday. My friends mother is a weight counselor and she told me 10 times my weight in calories is what I should be eating. I really want to try a program like weight watchers but does it really work for me to put the money into it?
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Old 04-25-2010, 10:06 PM   #7
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honestly, I have no idea where I would be without the wonderful people at this site. Reading about others successes and knowing you are not alone when you do slip, has been so helpful, comforting, and knowing you are never alone when you log in here. My suggestion? Log in and post here as often as you can.


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Old 04-25-2010, 10:10 PM   #8
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I do feel for you, because support is a nice thing to have, but sometimes we just have to take the bull by the horns and take care of our problems by ourselves.

Weight loss can be a very lonely road. I've had mini melt-downs because I sometimes feel like I it's me against the world and a giant sugar bowl...but I AM doing this for myself, so therefore, I have to DO it for myself. You can't depend on anyone except yourself to follow a healthly diet. It sucks, but it's a fact. Hang in there and do it by yourself, for yourself.
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Old 04-25-2010, 10:23 PM   #9
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I know what it is like, not having the support of those who you are close to. I don't have any support either. So I just wanted to offer you lots of Don't give up!
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Old 04-25-2010, 11:03 PM   #10
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I understand how you feel. I don't get much support from my family and don't really have friends other than all you ladies that I can relate to as far as my weight issues. My bf supports my efforts but he also lives hundreds of miles away from me so its hard for him to "support" me other than over the phone. I just have to be my own cheerleader. You have to tell yourself that you can do it and that you CANT and WILL NOT fail! All I can really say is to watch your calories and find some form of exercise that you LOVE. I personally love cycling! I think you just need to figure out who you are and what you like to do. Its not about an instant fix its about changing the way you live.
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Old 04-26-2010, 02:02 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by soxmanyxemotions View Post
I know I haven't gained muscle because when I lift, it's not any easier, it's harder and I take breaks.
I'm not sure how gaining muscle vs. fat works, but maybe you could get a tape measure (like the kind from a fitness store or a sewing department) to keep track of inches. It would be another way of measuring changes, especially if your clothes fit differently now. Maybe you could put the scale away for a while and focus on the habits instead of the numbers or vary the exercises with free weights, a new DVD, or just walking.

Quote:
Originally Posted by soxmanyxemotions View Post
And sometimes, I just don't feel motivated enough at all and do everything halfway, because what's the point with no support?


If this is something you want, find a way to get that support! Post here more, start a journal if you haven't. If there isn't anyone in your life who is making the same journey you are and you need personal interaction/venting/encouragement, ask someone here or from another website to be a weight loss penpal.

I'm sure you can think of several reasons apart from support. Do you ever list those reasons? Remind yourself why there is a point to the changes you're making. I hope you can regain your momentum and find a way to combat the feeling of being alone in this.
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Old 04-26-2010, 07:10 AM   #12
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The nice thing about having no support is that once you learn how to manage your weight on your own, no one can take it away from you.

How are you counting calories? How are you recording them? How strict are you? What are you eating?

You can be the weight you want to be, and you can do it on your own.
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Old 04-26-2010, 07:46 AM   #13
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I have found weight loss to be one of the most solo acts in the world.

It's all up to us, as individuals. Which is a good thing, because than we don't have to rely on anyone other than ourselves.

The bottom line is therefore that you have to DECIDE to do this, regardless of whatever anyone else is or isn't doing. Would it be easier to have someone along for the ride, maybe. But if you wait for that to happen, well than weight loss may NEVER happen. And that would be a shame.


And as far as motivation, forget that. It doesn't last very long and is never around when the fast food, the cookies and the cake are. COMMIT to doing this - whether you feel like it or not. It's worth it beyond belief.

Make the decision to do this, once and for all and permanently, commit to do this, be WILLING to do what's necessary and required to get it done - regardless of your circumstances, regardless of your surrounding.

Decide, commit and than make a plan of ACTION to make sure that it occurs.

You've got the power and the ability to do this. You CAN make it happen. You don't have to be fat if you don't want to be. The choice IS yours.

Don't dread these changes. But embrace them, look forward to them and be excited about them, because you have the power to change your life. You deserve to have the best!

Now get out there and make yourself a plan - and stick to it - because you can and you should.
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Old 04-26-2010, 01:51 PM   #14
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Somanyemotions,

I think one thing that hasn't been considered on this thread is that you are just 18 and possibly still totally dependent on your parents for food and money. If that's the case, it does make it harder for you. If all that is accessible to you is calorie dense food, sticking to your calorie plan could leave you starving.

Do you have any money of your own that you can use to purchase the foods you need for your plan? If not, will your parents allow you add the foods you need to the grocery list? Or give you your own grocery allowance?

Your circumstances may make it hard but I know you can do it. Perhaps once your family sees you putting your all into your program they will jump on board and do what they can to help.
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Old 04-26-2010, 02:24 PM   #15
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Ya know, my husband and I are doing this together, and our oldest son by default. BOTH my two dearest friends have now joined me, one of whom goes to the gym with me. I have all the support in the world, right?

It's not all you'd think it would be. It's nice to have to talk to, but if one of them falls, I'm helpless. I feel at war with my husband most hours of most days alternating biting my tongue with saying the right thing. I feel like the success of my family is entirely on my shoulders. If I quit, they will quit too. That's a lot of responsibility.

So yes, no matter how much or how little support you have, I think weight loss is still a very individual effort.

I have heard, and I believe, that weight loss is 80% diet and only 20% exercise. That has been so true for me. I can't do it through exercise alone and I find that the harder I work out the less the scale cooperates. That's ok because even as I gain poundage, the clothes just keep fitting better and that's a beautiful thing.

Counting calories worked great for me, then I learned to tweak that with eating whole foods and then I tweaked that restricting my carbs. It's a learning process and anything you can do toward getting the weight off blesses the body, even if done imperfectly.
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