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Beating the feeling of being deprived!

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Old 04-12-2010, 09:24 PM   #1
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Default Beating the feeling of being deprived!

One of my major sabotages after losing 80 pounds the last time was the feeling of being deprived. That I was keeping myself from eating all different types of foods I used to enjoy. This time around I really am trying to combat that on my journey.

About a week ago I walked into the break room at work and was faced with a layered coconut cream cake. It looked soooo good to me. I told myself, "You can't have that!" and I immediately had a feeling of deprivation and frustration. I stopped myself in my tracks and told myself that I CAN have it but I've decided to make healthier decisions in my life. I was still having a craving so I decided to try a small bite. I am so glad I did! It was absolutely disgusting. All I could taste was the fatty frosting and the bland cake. I had it hyped up way too much in my head.

I've been doing this more recently when I face this situation. If I want something "bad" for me I have just a tiny bit and I really focus on tasting it. I did this the other day with one of my SO's onion rings and it tasted awful.

This backfired me a bit the other day when I tried a small bite of a pineapple upside down cake and it tasted good to me. But instead of eating more I did some research to find a recipe for a low calorie pineapple cake. (I haven't made it yet, but if it turns out great I'll post the recipe.) Sometime I know I'm really going to want to eat something instead of making an alternative but I think I am going to be fine with that too as long as I don't let it derail me. I don't want guilt to be part of my journey!

I know this strategy won't work for everyone, but it works for me and I hope it keeps working!

What do you all do to keep yourself from feeling deprived?
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Old 04-12-2010, 10:26 PM   #2
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I feel the same way, and the same practice often works for me. The first french fry tastes amazing. The next ones aren't as good. I was offered birthday cake recently, and it looked really tempting. I had one bite, and then put the plate down and excused myself from the table, because it wasn't actually that good, and I didn't want to eat it just because it was there.
Great idea about finding a decently healthy recipe for something you really like, too!
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Old 04-13-2010, 12:12 AM   #3
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Honestly I allow myself one treat a week. I try not to partake every week, but often that leads to major cravings and ends in an entire day of treating. I also do my very best to make it fit into my plan by making smart choices durning the day so that I don't go over my calorie limit, but it doesn't always work out and I'm ok with that. For me this is a lifestyle change and temptations and craving will always be part of life. Smaller portions and eating those treats SLOWLY works well to. Like last night was a treat day and we went for ice cream I got the smallest portion they had and enjoyed the every bite of the small portion and was completely satisfied. Today I'm back on track and 100% This is what works for me.
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Old 04-13-2010, 03:00 AM   #4
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When I was heavy, I was deprived of a lot of things. Lots of clothing choices in stores, feeling comfy on an airplane, the ability to keep up with friends while strolling downtown without feeling winded, a towel that wrapped all the way around me, being able to cut my toenails with ease.

I'll gladly trade a piece of cake for a closet full of beautiful clothes, tons of energy and a roomy airplane seat.

Sure, I'd love to be someone that was born with a beautiful body that required no effort. I'd also like to be born as rich as Paris Hilton. That didn't happen either. I have to budget my money, I have to budget my calories. I don't spend a lot of time sad that I can't buy every little thing my heart desires - I know I can't afford it. So, I am not going to be sad I can't eat every thing my heart desires. I can't afford that either!
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Old 04-13-2010, 03:18 AM   #5
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Man, I'm so guilty of this all or nothing thinking... it's stupid really.

Honestly, after the first bite of cake or nachos or ice cream it's really not that wonderful. I've powered through a lot of foods I thought were disgustingly rich after just a bite or two. Why??? I don't know... I really wasn't enjoying them at that point.

Glory, you are spot on, as always... think of all the things you're depriving yourself of by being heavy... I know that list is a mile long for me. I'm not only depriving myself of those wonderful things, I'm also depriving my beautiful children! Why?!!! I need to read this thread every time I say "EFF it, I'm eating the whole thing." There is no reason!!

You're so right... it's okay to have a little taste now and again. You don't need to deprive yourself of things you really love. It's the unhealthy relationship with food that has got to go!
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Old 04-13-2010, 03:24 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Glory87 View Post
When I was heavy, I was deprived of a lot of things. Lots of clothing choices in stores, feeling comfy on an airplane, the ability to keep up with friends while strolling downtown without feeling winded, a towel that wrapped all the way around me, being able to cut my toenails with ease.

I'll gladly trade a piece of cake for a closet full of beautiful clothes, tons of energy and a roomy airplane seat.

Sure, I'd love to be someone that was born with a beautiful body that required no effort. I'd also like to be born as rich as Paris Hilton. That didn't happen either. I have to budget my money, I have to budget my calories. I don't spend a lot of time sad that I can't buy every little thing my heart desires - I know I can't afford it. So, I am not going to be sad I can't eat every thing my heart desires. I can't afford that either!
I totally agree with your post. It's so true, we give up so much by being in our unhealthy states! I would definitely rather be deprived of something like cake or ice cream than be deprived of being able to shop anywhere and buy myself the nicest clothes that look good on me and being able to be comfortable in my own skin!
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Old 04-13-2010, 07:04 AM   #7
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Deprivation is a mental state that has little to do with your body's needs. I like what Glory87 said--it's that "every little X that your heart desires" trap.

You have to come to the realization that it is OK to skip some things right now, this time. As a calorie counter, I don't place any foods off limits, so I don't have as rough a time with the deprivation factor. If I really want to eat something, I figure out what the calorie hit is, and then decide whether it's worth it and what the consequences will be.

The one thing I don't do is randomly eat things just because I want them. There is no end to that 3-year-old-within's wanting things. But somebody has to be the adult.

Good luck! Hang in there!
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Old 04-13-2010, 07:20 AM   #8
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I think treats are OK. But...I think planning for a treat is the best. If I am going somewhere that I know will have special things...I try to plan for a taste or a portion. I write it down in my daily plan and count it in. If not...I think we set our selves up for the 'oh well' attitude or 'I'll make up for it later in the day' thinking....both of which can lead to alot of overeating.

For me I can have anything I really want, if I plan for it. If I see a food and then want it...that's a craving. I am working so hard on identifying that and getting past the cravings. It's way to easy to want something 'special' every single day. I/we are faced with these temptations all the time.
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Old 04-13-2010, 09:09 AM   #9
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I do the one bite thing too if I'm out at a restaurant with friends. Mostly I do it to prove to myself that there are no bad foods. Also, to show my friends that I am not afraid to eat.

I try not to think of food as a reward though. Generally, I like to treat myself with new music, a cute outfit or a night on the town. I admit it can get expensive, but so can eating at restaurants once or twice a week.
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Old 04-13-2010, 09:10 AM   #10
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I am glad that the strategy is working for you. I have used that strategy to a very limited extent but felt like I was playing with fire. Once a few months into my journey, I allowed enough calories to have a bacon cheeseburger because I had really been craving it. I was up all night after-wards, sick to my stomach! It wasn't planned this way but that turned into aversion therapy! I can't stand even the smell of bacon cheeseburgers now. However, I consider myself lucky on this. It could have easily started me down the path of wanting more and more cheeseburgers.

I agree that I was more deprived at my highest weight. I was deprived of many things but I had to lose a lot of weight before I could see it. Now I see that there is no food that is worth carrying all that extra weight!

I have a recipe for a lower calorie pineapple cake that I got from my mother. It is simple, mix a 20 ounce can of crushed pineapple with juice into an angel food cake mix. Some angel food cake mixes come with two packets that you combine but, for some reason, the cake does not turn out well with that type of mix. You want angel food cake mix that comes in one package. Duncan Hines mix works well. I take this to occasions at work and church. It is still too many calories to keep at home where I will eat the entire cake.

http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Pineapp...-I/Detail.aspx
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Old 04-13-2010, 09:24 AM   #11
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Quote:
One of my major sabotages after losing 80 pounds the last time was the feeling of being deprived. That I was keeping myself from eating all different types of foods I used to enjoy. This time around I really am trying to combat that on my journey.
I had to learn to step away from using food as more than fuel.

Some fuel is better quality than others. And there is a place for "fun treat food" and it can be planned for. having treat food in the portions I used to helped make me fat, and I'm not going back there. But planning for a reasonable portion is possible.

But to think about "deprivation" and food together... deprivation is a an exaggeration that implies emotional eating thinking. Because I really wasn't lacking for food. I had lots of nutritious things to eat.

I had to learn to pick it apart and get to the place where I could articulate "I am missing fun, social time, self nurture, congratulations, etc."

All the things that food used to fill in for and THIS is what I was missing.

The best way to combat "deprivation" had several parts for me. One was to eat nutritiously so I wouldn't be adding the physical cravings that low blood sugar can bring on for me. (prediabetic) Another was to journal how I was feeling and really get down to the who, what, when, where, why and HOW I was going to address it.

"Life is Hard, Food is Easy" by Linda Spangle was eye opening for me.

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