[Megan33]

I am so jealous of the ppl that only need to lose 50 or so pounds. I'm super pissed at myself for not doing something sooner about my weight. I have destroyed my body and no one to blame but myself. I lost it yesturday and ate waaayyy too much and I paid for it today TMI ALERT...i was pooping all day! Another thing is I thought I was only in the 300s for a few years and my boyfriend thought a lot more years....well, a few days ago I found my WW weight card from Nov 2001 and I weighed 314!!! I can't believe I weighed this much for so long!! I could scream!!!! This sucks, I wish I could redo my life.

[jewelrymaker81]

I know girl. When I think of all the time I've wasted by not doing this sooner, it makes me sick. I've been dieting on and off all my life, it's rediculous. I joined WW about 10 years ago, I guess, and weighed 220. I couldn't believe I was over 200 lbs. I lost 25 then quit and now I'm 326! And that's with having lost 15 lbs in the last few weeks. It's disgusting and it makes me so mad at myself, so I just concentrate on the now and what I can do to get myself healthy. We just can't worry about what's already done, there's nothing we can do but undo it. Unfortunately we can't turn back time and make the effort to not get overweight, but we can lose the weight now. Good luck! You can do it and so can I!!

[Wild Vulpix]

This is so stupid, but sometimes I get jealous of people who have a lot more to lose. When you lose a whole bunch of weight, you go through such an amazing metamorphoses, you gain so much respect... it's so, like, magical almost. And the weight loss in the beginning for heavier people is really fast... and though they slow down a little, they seem to continue that momentum. I have about 50lbs to lose, but I'm losing about 0.1lb a day... at this rate, it will take me 500 days to get to my goal It's crazy.


I guess that's life though, right? The grass is always greener on the other side.

EDIT: I just noticed you're from Massachusetts too! Hiiii from Mass!!!

[Helen ready to lose]

You can redo your life starting today. There is nothing you can do about the past so please don't beat yourself up over it. You can take control over your present and the future. I hate to think of how many times I overate because I was pissed at myself. I am 56 and trying to lose 60 pounds AGAIN. I have lost it several times over the years and have always gained it back.

This time will be different as I am being kinder to myself. So, tell your body you are sorry and get back on track. Take care of yourself.

[aluxa]

The amount of weight to lose does not change our feelings. I understand how you feel although I have to lose 68 pounds, sometimes I regret why I did not take action before. My weight was 117 pound sonly 4 years ago, but I gained a lot of weight since then. Although many things happened in my life on those years, I’m the only to blame. However, we should focus in that we are now in our journey to recovery and that says a lot of good things about us. and

[Nada]

That is funny, Wild Vulpix, I had a similar thought the other day. There was an article in the paper about a woman who lost 170 lbs on WW and I thought, "I wish..." And then I caught myself and slapped myself silly.

You're right, aluxa, we all feel regret for not starting sooner, but the good news is---we started. And, OP a year from now you'll be glad you started when you did. And then you can be featured in a newspaper or magazine article.

[time2lose]

I'm super pissed at myself for not doing something sooner about my weight. I have destroyed my body and no one to blame but myself. I have destroyed my body and no one to blame but myself. I lost it yesturday and ate waaayyy too much and I paid for it today

I totally understand being angry at yourself for letting this happen. Been there done that. I have also punished myself for the extra weight by eating more which only resulted in me getting bigger for a longer amount of time. I have been hauling this extra poundage around for 30+ years.

Now, I have a question for you. How long do you want to hang onto the weight?

You can't change the past but you can change the future. You say you have been over 300 pounds for 9 years. Do you want to add another 20 years to that?

Forgive yourself and lose the weight. A year can make a huge difference. At your age, you can lose most of your extra weight in a year. Please don't do what I did and hang on to it for another 20 years. Please don't regret another year. You can lose this weight and be the woman you want to be!

Edit to add: Robin and I were posting at the same time. Listen to Robin. She knows what she is talking about!

[Megan33]

THANK YOU EVERYONE!!!!!!! I feel so much better now!! You guys rock!


xoxoxoxox

[Eliana]

Originally Posted by Wild Vulpix

This is so stupid, but sometimes I get jealous of people who have a lot more to lose. When you lose a whole bunch of weight, you go through such an amazing metamorphoses, you gain so much respect... it's so, like, magical almost. And the weight loss in the beginning for heavier people is really fast... and though they slow down a little, they seem to continue that momentum. I have about 50lbs to lose, but I'm losing about 0.1lb a day... at this rate, it will take me 500 days to get to my goal It's crazy.

I'm glad you said this. Like Megan, I too get jealous of people who have only 50 or less to lose. But secretly, I get jealous of people with more to lose too! LOL! I never ever think, gosh, I'm lucky because I don't have so much to lose. I have the thought that I'm going to miss out on such a transformation.

Megan, there are a lot of us around with more than 50 lbs to lose. You are so no alone! I hope you find comfort here.

[Eliana]

Originally Posted by rockinrobin

but are you sure this is something you want to envy in others???? Come now...

Well now... I didn't say I wanted to envy it. LOL! It is ludicrous, I agree.

I do NOT however, wish I was heavier than I am right now! But sometimes I can't help wishing I'd already lost 100 lbs to be where I am right now. Craziness, I know.

[SCraver]

When I started college, I weighed 150 lbs. I gained and gained. I hit my highest shortly after college when I moved in with my hubby (fiance at the time). I am pretty sure I hit about 250 lbs. I gained ONE HUNDRED POUNDS in college. I blew the freshman 15 out of the water. And I used to beat myself up - WHY on Earth didn't I stop gaining weight sooner? Why didn't I stop after gaining 20 lbs? After 40? After I hit a weight of 200?

It doesn't matter. I didn't know any better at the time. I did what I did. I can spend the rest of my life yelling at my 20 year old self (who has been gone for 11 years!), or I can move forward and lose it now.

"If only" won't get us what we want. Hard work and commitment to change starting NOW is what will get us what we want!

[cmyhc01]

Megan...I can soooo relate to this post. I keep looking back at times in my life when was horrified at how "fat" I had become...and my weight at each of those times now has become a mini-goal for me. "If only" is playing on repeat in my head. I've lost 38 pounds since I've started and back in the day that would have been more than enough to reach my goal weight, but it's only a fourth of how much I need to lose now.

The last few days have been really tough. I had gone six weeks without any crazy cravings but lately they've been brutal. I haven't succumbed but it's been almost painful. Last night I told my boyfriend how ridiculous I feel that food plays such a crucial role in my life, and wondered how I got to this point.

But reading the responses here and also looking to postings in the Goal section have helped inspire me. Knowing so many of us are in the same boat, and so many have been here and achieved their goal, makes it a little easier.

Joining this site was the second best thing I did in the effort to reach my goal weight--the first being making the decision and taking the first step, of course. The encouragement on here is invaluable.

Good luck to all of you! And a shout-out to my fellow Mass-ladies too!

[ubergirl]

Hello from a 48, almost 49 year old who was morbidly obese for TWENTY YEARS.

Why do we let ourselves do it to ourselves? I don't know. But I can tell you that I feel a lot of compassion for my old self.

Turned out, I had the key to success in my back pocket all along, I just did not know it.

But I can tell you that I truly and really and sincerely believed I was helpless over this problem for all of those years.

Now, in retrospect, it seems sad-- sad that I have so many miserable memories connected to my fatness.

But on the other hand, I now, finally, see this as a tremendous opportunity. Among my middle aged friends, I'm one of the few I know who feels better, younger, stronger, healthier, and more in control than I did a year ago.

I'm one of the few who is EXCITED about my changing looks and changing body. One of the few who can do more and more every day.

I made THE BIG PERMANENT CHANGE on June 19th 2009, almost 9 months ago, and already, I have trouble remembering what it was like when I weighed almost 300lbs....

Thank God, we all live in the present. Make the change today and make it permanent, and that WILL BE your new reality.

[dragonwoman64]

I've had that thought many times, that I wish I could redo my life SANS the huge fat body suit I've worn since .... just about forever!

Originally Posted by cmyhc01

Last night I told my boyfriend how ridiculous I feel that food plays such a crucial role in my life, and wondered how I got to this point.

yes, me too! I wouldn't be the person I am without having gone through what I've gone through though. Besides, I can't change the past, only learn from it. Kind of a cliche fest, ha. few people have it easy in this life, just different hards.

[Asherdoodles87]

I have felt the exact same way. I have cried several times in the past for being so ashamed about how I allowed myself to get so overweight. I couldn't believe what I had done to my body. When I finally decided to lose weight it was like I was finally seeing my body for the first time. I was looking at all the damage I had done to it. The stretch marks and fat rolls. I have cried also because I think my body will still look terrible after I lose the weight. I'm afraid of extra skin and saggy body parts. I'm terrified that I won't like my body after I lose this weight.

The fact is, though, I am 22 years old, and I was morbidly obese. I was missing out on a lot of things. I was missing out on parties, dates, etc. I'm tired of missing out on things because of my weight. I am sick of hearing whispers about my weight. My blood pressure was 134/85 when I first started losing weight. It was a little high. Since I have started losing weight it was 122/71. I feel better too! My confidence is up. I may not ever be completely satisfied with my body, but I want to be healthier.

I really understand how you feel, though. I wish I could go back in time and diet a lot sooner... like when I was at 170 in high school.