I am sorry for your loss, as well. Please just know that every day you will heal a little more than the day before. Also, every time you talk about it, you get a little stronger as well. you can get through this - I am pulling for you!
Now, as far as motivation goes, I can completely empathize with you! I have only been here for a few months, but it's amazing how these ladies can make you feel about yourself! Even if you choose not to post, just coming everyday and reading different posts and kind of "lurking around" until you find your niche is all it will take. When you find the thread for you, just start posting and you will be amazed at how positive you will feel! I come everyday to check in on my "friends" and get motivated to stick to my program. They help keep me accountable and raise my chin when I'm feeling down. If I didn't come here, it would be hard to sustain the will.
So what I'm saying is even if you don't feel motivated to start on your program for another month, just come everyday and check out what's going on. You'll be amazed that after a while, you'll *want* to start moving and eating better. Or if nothing else, you'll want to learn more about different plans and check out some of the great links that get mentioned. Best of luck to you - I hope to see you around the boards!