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Old 10-29-2009, 04:16 PM   #1
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My father in law had a stroke maybe 2 weeks ago now... Hes a 370lb man, and hes maybe 49. (definitely not 50 or older)... He lives a very sedate life... laying in bed most of the time with his 90lb wife... he moves between there and the car, or the kitchen...

The nutritionist at the hospital sent home a recommended food guide and i was wandering if there was anything else that could be done. Perhaps to help motivate him to get up and move when hes out and functioning (he still doesn't understand he had a stroke - and he will be in the hospital for another 5 weeks now). I looked up his calorie needs for barely moving... its around 3100 to maintain.. 2900 to lose weight (if he didn't move)... I'm not sure what to suggest to the family.

Does anyone have any ideas? - Maybe you've gone through this with a family member also.

(i know when people post about getting family members involved, the general response is you cant make them do anything, but i feel, in situations such as this, when hes had a stroke, or a heart attack or anything drastic like that, there is a time to step in and try).

Thank you
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Old 10-29-2009, 05:28 PM   #2
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Well since he's in the hospital for 5 weeks he will probably lose a decent amount of weight since his diet is more controlled there (unless people are bringing him food- I would ask everyone to NOT bring him food even if he asks).

If having a stroke can't make someone turn their life around then I don't know what WILL. All I can say is good luck and I hope when he gets out of the hospital he decides to get into shape so he'll be around for his family.

Have you spoken to his wife? What are her thoughts?

And if he does decide to change- I'd totally support him 100% of the way
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Old 10-29-2009, 09:18 PM   #3
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the hypocritical thing is that, the nutritionist gave them this suggested eating plan, then told him, he could eat whatever he wants... so hes ordering fried foods while he does nothing more than lay in a bed.

and i've never had to know someone who had a stroke so i dont know if he'll understand ever, that he had a stroke - and then how can he "turn" his life around?

my mother in law, is a character in herself, she'll tell him he cant do something or have something, then help him do it. Says she can do anything but does nothing.. hard to explain.. and i dont mean to air dirty laundry, was just looking for helpful suggestions, but i guess this is one of those areas which are hard to deal with unless you know...

so thanks anyway
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Old 10-29-2009, 10:12 PM   #4
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Do you live with them? Once he's out of the hospital, you can take over cooking and you can control his diet. I think we all know that the hardest part of losing the weight is just STARTING. I know I'd have lost way more weight if someone else cooked and was bringing me my daily meals.
If he likes fried foods, experiment with oven baked foods like oven baked fries or chicken.
The best you may be able to do in helping him is by holding his hand the entire way.
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Old 10-29-2009, 10:16 PM   #5
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Oh the other thing I was going to add....

If he had a stroke severe enough to keep him in the hospital for over a month, then I am assuming that he has a power of attorney or his wife (???) making the decisions for him at the moment. Whoever that is can go to his doctor and ask him to be put on a restricted diet so he can not order the fried foods.
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Old 10-30-2009, 07:38 AM   #6
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Of course you want to help. But I'd say his wife and doctors ought to be the primary players.

Talk with your husband and your mother-in-law about plans for his aftercare. If he has 5 weeks to stay in the hospital, that's plenty of time to make plans together. Also keep in mind that he is an adult, and even though he has had a stroke, he is probably still legally competent to make his own decisions, including his own food decisions.

This is a very frustrating situation, but sometimes trying to "help" can just generate hostility--so be sure you are including everyone in the discussion of what's best for him. Including him.

Jay
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Last edited by JayEll : 10-30-2009 at 07:38 AM.
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