Well, you could find a way to keep going and head toward your goal, or, you could do it in a month, a year, 10 years, and so on. How much longer do you want to live this way? Once you decide that you are willing to put aside everything to make this one of your main priorities and to have the patience to do so, you will move in the right direction. If you keep gaining, then one day, you might have to do this very same work, but starting at a higher weight. I'm sure you don't want that. We all think of diet and exercise as deprivation, but really, we are truly depriving ourselves of the life and body we want. THAT is the deprivation. If you can rewire your brain to see it that way, you might find that you can stick to it longer. Keep in mind that it takes 4 weeks for your brain to form a new habit (good or bad). Commit to doing the work it takes. Track your eating, track your workouts and do it for a month. By then, you will see some results and you will be more motivated. But, as someone's Avatar here says, it has nothing to do with motivation and it has everything to do with commitment. Do you put yourself first or last on the list? Imagine you had to save someone else's life. You would do whatever it takes, every day. People put their lives on hold all the time to sit at the bedside of someone who is in a hospital. They would do anything at that point to help that loved one. Well, you should be your own loved one. Love yourself enough to do whatever it takes.
I hope this didn't come on too strong. It sounded a lot like me just a few months ago. I couldn't even last one day with any commitment. I felt terrible in my own body and I had no sense of control. I started the day with bagels and cream cheese and a huge orange juice. I put everyone else first, but I also realized I had less and less to give with each passing month. I pretended the problem didn't exist, but it was smacking me in the face on a regular basis. I didn't hit any rock bottom. I avoided mirrors and I avoided social situations. I am just now starting to come around and even though I still suffer from chronic daily migraines (so if I can workout anyone can) and I still have a child with special needs (pain like I never could have imagined), I do this one thing for myself. I want to enjoy life, despite the heartache and the suffering. What is the alternative? Just keep eating my way to an early grave? No way. Not for me and not for you, Cori.
I really hope you will make the changes you need to make. You will feel so much better and with every step in the right direction, you will find inspiration and motivation like never before.
First goal: under 180:
Second goal: 175 or below:
Third goal: 168 (no longer overweight):
Fourth goal: 160 or below:
Final goal: 145-155 (not sure if this will ever happen):