Join Date: Jul 2009
Ugh, I'm NOT happy with myself!
Okay, so, I feel almost like I'm a psych patient who was feeling good when they were on their meds, but then went off because they felt good and can't understand why they don't feel good anymore.
I was doing really well, I'd lost fifteen pounds, I was in a good routine, I was feeling great. I'd spend a decent amount of time on here because I liked seeing other people's stories and because since I don't really have anyone to talk to at home I felt like I had people that I could bond with, but then things started to go south. I stopped coming on here as much because I was doing great so I thought that I didn't support, but I was still going to Weight Watchers, but then my boyfriend, Shaun, lost his job and I had to stop going to WW for financial reasons.
That was a little over a month ago, he's still looking for job and depression hit me pretty hard, so, of course, I went for the junk food, I went nuts, and when I didn't see the scale moving up too quickly, I thought, "hey, I'm not gaining that much, so..." yeah, it wasn't pretty. I also stayed away from here because I felt like a failure, even though I knew that the majority of people on here go through the same thing all of the time, but I felt so ashamed, I was, and well, still am, at my lowest weight since high school, I felt great, I mean, my headaches were gone, I didn't feel bloated, things were moving along in the bathroom (no pun intended).
Anyway, yesterday I just felt so disgusted with my behavior, that scale was really glaring at me, I just can't keep doing this, in the past few weeks I have had horrible headaches, my stomach feels like a marching band is practicing for homecoming, it has to stop.
Yeah, I'm under a lot of stress, with Shaun losing his job we are in a rough place, but our parents are helping out, he has an interview this week, cross the old fingers, but eating this way has made things even worse, I just can't keep doing this.
Okay, well, thanks for listening, or reading, whatever, thanks.