3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community  

Go Back   3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community > Support Forum > Weight Loss Support

Weight Loss Support Give and get support here!

Just curious...how would you respond to these?

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 10-24-2009, 03:49 PM   #1
Senior Member
 
McKenziesmomma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Small town in West Tennessee!
Posts: 1,557

S/C/G: 297.4/ticker/190

Height: 5'3"

Default Just curious...how would you respond to these?

I have to stop putting off weight loss for another day. Its amazing how fast time goes by. I remember last year on Christmas Day looking so fat in all the pictures and feeling so out of place and embarrassed. I swore that this Christmas would be different. I would feel and look better, but I kept putting it off….after all I had plenty of time right? Wrong…..Christmas is about 2 months away. I can’t believe I do this. Why?

Why do I do this (live my life unhappy)?

Why do I eat the way I do when the results make me miserable?

Why do I NOT exercise or do anything active?

Why do I keep allowing myself to be unhappy and unhealthy?


Life is just too short. I have to get this right soon.

RIGHT NOW
I would like to put more focus into finding the answers to those questions rather than planning all the time how I’m going to lose weight.


I think it would help me greatly to see how other people answer these questions. So if you all don't mind and have time....can you help me out
__________________
McKenziesmomma is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-24-2009, 04:23 PM   #2
Maintainer since 7-3-2009
 
Lori Bell's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: A Nebraska Farm
Posts: 3,087

S/C/G: 333/160/145

Height: 5'6"

Default

Quote:
RIGHT NOW
I would like to put more focus into finding the answers to those questions rather than planning all the time how I’m going to lose weight.
Hey there, If I remember correctly, didn't we start 3FC right around the same time?

Is it possible that there are no valid answers to your questions? Maybe there is actually no underlying reason you do not follow through on your weight loss plan except that you don't want to yet. Maybe you are looking to hit rock bottom, or need a medical scare...maybe you are just not really ready. Maybe you just want to want it. I think that you would have figured it out by now if there was some underlying issue, (medical, mental, emotional...etc)?

In my humble opinion maybe it is not completely necessary to discover the answers to your questions. Forcing yourself to execute the weight loss plans you have already put in place over the months might be the only way to get the ball rolling. My Grandma used to have an expression, although crude, it really got the point across when she though we were avoiding an issue. She would say, "It's time to $h*t or get off the pot!" You can do this. I just hope you don't wait another year before you get off the pot.

ETA: I forgot to answer your questions. I spent years obese and miserable, and thinking back, the answers would have been something like, "I like to eat" & "I'll get to it someday..."

Last edited by Lori Bell : 10-24-2009 at 04:46 PM.
Lori Bell is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-24-2009, 04:51 PM   #3
Senior Member
 
McKenziesmomma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Small town in West Tennessee!
Posts: 1,557

S/C/G: 297.4/ticker/190

Height: 5'3"

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lori Bell View Post
Hey there, If I remember correctly, didn't we start 3FC right around the same time?

Is it possible that there are no valid answers to your questions? Maybe there is actually no underlying reason you do not follow through on your weight loss plan except that you don't want to yet. Maybe you are looking to hit rock bottom, or need a medical scare...maybe you are just not really ready. Maybe you just want to want it. I think that you would have figured it out by now if there was some underlying issue, (medical, mental, emotional...etc)?

In my humble opinion maybe it is not completely necessary to discover the answers to your questions. Forcing yourself to execute the weight loss plans you have already put in place over the months might be the only way to get the ball rolling. My Grandma used to have an expression, although crude, it really got the point across when she though we were avoiding an issue. She would say, "It's time to $h*t or get off the pot!" You can do this. I just hope you don't wait another year before you get off the pot.

ETA: I forgot to answer your questions. I spent years obese and miserable, and thinking back, the answers would have been something like, "I like to eat" & "I'll get to it someday..."

Yes we did join at the same time!!! I know your probably right about the poop or get off the pot thing...LOL.


I just don't know. I'm not stupid....I know exactly what it takes to get to where I want to be. I just don't know why I don't do it. Sometimes I even do it for a little while and lose like 25-30 pounds and then gain it all back. I don't know its like there is something mental there. Its like in the back of my mind I keep telling myself..."You know its never gonna happen right? You know your never gonna lose all the weight...right?" I don't know if thats it or what.....but I can be losing weight and doing good and then the weight loss slows a little....but it just slows it doesn't stop.....and I just give up.


Thanks for your words and thoughts......I need all that I can get
__________________
McKenziesmomma is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-24-2009, 05:17 PM   #4
Jessica, Becoming Me
 
garnetrising's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Fields of Glass
Posts: 567

S/C/G: 260 / 199 / 150

Height: 5' 6" | MG: 185

Default

Please note that all of these are very general answers. But I am attempting to answer them for you. ^^

Quote:
Originally Posted by McKenziesmomma View Post
Why do I do this (live my life unhappy)?
Because you procrastinate. To some degree, every human does this. We put something off for a day thinking we'll get to it tomorrow but we never do. It's unfortunate. What makes it worse for people trying to lose weight is that putting off the weight loss effects so much more of our life than putting off washing the car or doing that school project. And time always goes by faster than we expect.

Quote:
Originally Posted by McKenziesmomma View Post
Why do I eat the way I do when the results make me miserable?
I don't know how you eat to be able to give you a real definitive answer to this question. But chances are it's a combination of things. People, today, have a much easier time of getting food. We don't really have to work for it (physically, I mean). That's part of the problem. We grow up in a society that doesn't really promote eating healthy to children in a way that kids can fully grasp and understand. Kids are too young to get a bunch of the longer-lasting concepts. They're impressionable and they follow the crowd. Often, it leads to bad habits. Two of my older siblings were very active when we were growing up. They both ran cross-country and participated in a few other sports. I did not. I didn't have a lot of friends and I'm not very good at sports, in general. And kids can be harsh about that sort of thing. But the two of them could eat like horses and not gain a pound because they were constantly burning it off. At 7, you don't understand that concept. Unless your parents, guardians, some other authority figure makes a conscious effort to improve your diet (other than talking at you about it), you're going to emulate what you see. I know I did. And bad habits like that tend to stick with you and die hard. Eventually, I did a 180 around middle school and was at such a low place emotionally that I didn't eat nearly enough to fuel my body. That's where I've been ever since. Struggling to find that balance between enough to be healthy without eating to much to maintain (rather than lose). Bottom line, unless you're making a conscious effort and paying attention every day, every time you put something into your body, it can be really easy to fall back into bad habits.

Quote:
Originally Posted by McKenziesmomma View Post
Why do I NOT exercise or do anything active?
It's a question a lot of people like us ask themselves. It's another one with a complicated answer. For me, it's even more baffling because I love being active. I love being outdoors and I love working out. Growing up, I didn't have anybody to be active with. As an adult, I didn't go out of my way to be active, but I was moderately active. I used to walk 1.5 to and from work 5 days a week. Most of those days, I'd also walk from one end of campus to the other. I don't know rightly how far that was but I wouldn't be surprised if it was easily 1.5 miles, itself. You'd think that, with all that walking, I'd have gotten it in my head to work out sooner. But I didn't. I was scared of going to a gym. I'd been made fun of so much in school, I didn't feel like going to workout at a gym and get laughed at by a bunch of skinny people. Avoidance prevented that. And once you get to a point where you aren't active, I think you start to convince yourself that you don't like it or that your not physically able to do some of the exercises.

Quote:
Originally Posted by McKenziesmomma View Post
Why do I keep allowing myself to be unhappy and unhealthy?
Because misery, typically, begets misery and eventually you find things spiraling out of control. And then when it gets to the breaking point, you're looking at it and seeing how much you have to change, how massive a task it can be and that's daunting. Another thing, is everybody has that moment. You can try for years and years to lose and stick with it for a little while and then fall back off again. Every one of those false starts has a small moment when you're sure this is the time, that this is the moment where you realize you can do it and you'll stick with it. But often, they're not THE moment. When you reach that moment, you don't tell yourself this is the one, you go into it know that it's going to be a long journey and that it's going to be tough. But you commit to it and find the way that works for you because you've finally realized, and accepted, that no one can do it for you. You have to do it for yourself. And everyone comes to that moment in their own time. I remember my high school graduation... My grandmother, who'd been overweight the entire time I'd known her (up to about the year prior) told me, basically, that I was a bright girl but that no one would take me seriously and give me a fair shot because of my weight. She then offered to pay me to lose it. You would have thought that, given how long she'd been overweight, she'd have realized that I needed to make that decision and commit to it in my own time. Needless to say, my relationship with her has been extremely strained ever since. But I digress.

Quote:
Originally Posted by McKenziesmomma View Post
Life is just too short. I have to get this right soon.

RIGHT NOW
I would like to put more focus into finding the answers to those questions rather than planning all the time how I’m going to lose weight.
You're right. Life is short. And you need to take action now. It can be hard. I know from past experiences, and even this time. I procrastinate like nobody's business. I'm the sort of person who needs a procrastinators anonymous meeting (Hi, I'm Jessica and I've been meaning to come to one of these meetings since last July... Um. Clearly I procrastinate.). Two things that I've learned are key for me. Commitment and accountability. I weigh in every morning. I don't let the daily number stress me out because it's just another day. But I need to know if the scale has started creeping back up over the last three days so I can adjust. I log all of my food into Fitday.com. Either at the start of the morning or the night before (what I plan to eat) or at the end of the day if I'm unsure of what meal(s) I'm going to consume. I try to always know at least two of my meals before hand so I know how much wiggle room I have for snacks and things if I decide to eat out. I report in at several threads at least once a day. I don't post my menus or anything, but I do report whether or not I've worked out, how it went, where I am calorie-wise in relation to my target for the day, and any other random things that feel important at the moment. I work out most days. I have to drive 45 minutes (both ways) to get to work every day. I'm at work for, on average, 10 hours a day. Factoring in 6-8 hours of sleep, I'm not left with a lot of time. But I've made the commitment to myself to workout and for the first time in my life, I've set my alarm for 5:30 am with the intention of getting up and working out and find myself doing it. I have a small group of DVDs and I workout at home. Right now, I'm on day 3 of the 30 Day Shred. I find it to be quick and effective. The point is, I am making a conscious effort every day to do it. Whether I feel like working out when I roll out of bed in the morning or not, I do it anyway. I'm working on making it part of my daily routine. Get up, let puppies out, boot up laptop, work out. (Then feed puppies, browse forums, check to see if I've gotten an email from DH. Kennel puppies and go to work.) I always find that as soon as I'm five minutes into my workout I'm glad I started.
garnetrising is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-24-2009, 05:22 PM   #5
Maintainer since 7-3-2009
 
Lori Bell's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: A Nebraska Farm
Posts: 3,087

S/C/G: 333/160/145

Height: 5'6"

Default

I'm really sorry you are stuck in that rut. I have been there, and I do understand. It sucks. I can sit here and tell you to commit, and to persevere, and to stick to it and don't give up, and all those wonderful words of encouragement, but they are just words coming from an internet stranger. You have to find it in you. You have to find that drive all for yourself. I personally found my drive in prayer, but i understand that is not every body's style. Find that strength and pull it out. Keep the drive alive. My Grandma also used to say, "Fake it till you make it", and sometimes that is what I do. If you can't do it for yourself, do it for McKenzie. Do it for your parents, do it for anyone until you realize that you deserve it for yourself.

I do have faith in you. I think you can do it.
Lori Bell is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-24-2009, 05:26 PM   #6
3 + years maintaining
 
rockinrobin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 12,070

S/C/G: 287/120's

Height: 5 foot nuthin'

Default Sometimes you gotta be Nike and

JUST DO IT!!!

I got tired of trying to figure our the hows and whys. I'd wasted enough time pondering those thoughts.

ACTION. That's what it takes. ACTION. You don't have to have everything figured out right away in order to make a change. You just don't. You've just got to DECIDE to do this - no matter what. Decide to do it, commit to do it. And then it shall be done. FOCUS on it. Make it a tippy top priority and transform your very life. Some of those answers will become apparent to you as go through your journey and some won't. That's okay. It's time to take action. Haven't you wasted enough time? Well stop wasting time and start making the best use of it. Today.
rockinrobin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-24-2009, 06:00 PM   #7
Senior Member
 
WildThings's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Pickerington, Ohio
Posts: 721

S/C/G: 265/211/130

Height: 5'6"

Default

I wonder about these questions a lot and I really don't have the answers to them either. I guess I do have some answers, but for me, knowing the answers doesn't really change anything. I do know that sometimes, the taste of food outweighs the benefits that come from not eating those same foods. It shouldn't be like that. I tell my self that it's kind of sad that the taste of chocolate chip cookies outweighs my desire to lose weight and be healthy, but I eat it anyway. This is of course one of my issues, it may be different for everyone else. What I do know is I can't give up trying because I am making progress. I am getting back to a healthy me, more slowly than I would like, but it's progress.

Right now, you still have 2 months until Christmas. You can make a lot of progress in 2 months. You can still keep your promise to yourself that things will be different by this Christmas. You may not be at your goal by Christmas, but even a two pound difference by Christmas would be progress. I started trying to lose weight in February...the difference in how I felt between February 16 and April 16 was a huge difference...really huge. My depression was 1/3 of what it had been when I started. I was exercising, I had more energy, I was happy, starting to enjoy things in my life again. You can still do this by Christmas. Think how great you would feel instead of starting the new year thinking about losing weight, instead you would be starting the new year with two months under your belt.
__________________
Amanda

It's not that some people have willpower and some don't. It's that some people are ready to change and others are not.
James Gordon



My progress pictures
WildThings is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-24-2009, 06:41 PM   #8
I've only just begun! :)
 
Havisham's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Near Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 159

S/C/G: 338/Ticker/180

Height: 5' 10"

Default

Hey there,
I can relate to these questions - and they're tough ones to answer - and to ask yourself. Having those who've already done it say just do it, doesn't help. You have to find it in you when you're ready. For me it was coming here and just reading, and then posting a little and now posting a lot. I'm not killing myself and telling myself I'll never eat junk or sweet stuff again - I'm not that perfect. I'm just doing one day at a time, and if I fall off the wagon, I'm gonna get back on again tomorrow.

For me, finding that there are other people out there feeling like I do - struggling to make it - getting by one day at a time, that helps. I'm not perfect, and I don't need to hear the rigid 'stick to it or else' stuff, I just need a little support from people going through this, too. And I find it here.

You can too...one day at a time...just ask for help when you get stuck.
Havisham is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-24-2009, 06:47 PM   #9
3 + years maintaining
 
rockinrobin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 12,070

S/C/G: 287/120's

Height: 5 foot nuthin'

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Havisham View Post
Hey there,
Having those who've already done it say just do it, doesn't help. )
Maybe for some one, some where it WOULD help. You never know. It's not only the OP that is reading this. And if does help one person, gets that one person to thinking and taking action, then it was worth it. We're all different. We never know what's going to spark someone to make a change.
rockinrobin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-24-2009, 06:51 PM   #10
Resident Pixie
 
Onederchic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 14,658

S/C/G: Pant Size - 28/12/8

Height: 5'2"

Default

I have to admit that when I signed up here I was lost and confused and on the wrong track. But some of these chickies, Robin included, said to me I have to do it and by golly it did help ME. I did it and am still doing it thanks to all the wonderful people here supporting me by holding my hand and giving me a much needed kick on the arse at times
__________________
Stopped smoking October 21, 2008
Made it to Onederland July 16, 2009


Transformation in Pictures

My Facebook


Achievement seems to be connected with action. Successful men and women keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don't quit.
- Conrad Hilton

Disclaimer: I am not a registered dietitian, nutritionist, any kind of health professional or fitness expert...I'm just a woman who's lost 161.5 pounds so far with a lot of hard work.
Onederchic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-24-2009, 07:38 PM   #11
Senior Member
 
LotusMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 1,211

S/C/G: 248.8/232.2/135

Height: 5'8"

Default

mckenziesmomma--I think a lot of us have the same questions as you do and I am not sure I will ever be able to answer them for myself. When I came here a few months ago and joined, I didn't really have any "aha!" moments, I just started and one successful day built upon another and then another...

Here's the realization that I have come to: losing weight will never get easier (and, in fact, it will probably get harder). I agree with Robin: start now. Some days will be a big struggle and others will be suprisingly easy. But, just think of how great you will feel by Christmas if you start now. And, in six months...and in a year.

You can do it! I wish you the best with your weight loss journey!

Cheers,

J
__________________
LotusMama is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-24-2009, 08:23 PM   #12
Senior Member
 
ringmaster's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,321

S/C/G: 198/155/140

Height: 5'9"

Default

I know how you feel... I felt the same way this time last year. Time really does go by fast. What's even sadder this time last year I was getting to the low 160s, I would probably be at my goal by now, instead I'm further away from it!

So, for me, I think I'm a bit scared. Scared of the attention. Scared of no more excuses and blaming everything on my weight. Scared of losing it and getting to 'that happy place' and gaining it all back and winding up back in misery.

Maybe you have some kind of fear or worry when you get the weight off? Maybe you are in your comfort zone, things seem fine at the moment, so why change things? Like someone else said, maybe you are waiting to hit rock bottom or an emergency to come up to make the changes. Of course you don't want to wait for something like that, you want to be ready for whatever life hands you, and having the weight off does make it easier.

start and keep small changes. Have a good breakfast. Plan your lunches. I like garnetrising's plan on having 2 good meals for the day, leaving some wiggle room. Drink water. green tea. Do you watch TV? During the commercial breaks do some walking/jogging in place, some sit ups, push ups. Go to a park and play or do some active activities with your daughter..just small changes that don't hurt but will add up till you are ready to make the big changes.

Last edited by ringmaster : 10-24-2009 at 08:26 PM.
ringmaster is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-24-2009, 08:40 PM   #13
Never Say Never
 
D22Guzman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: california
Posts: 82

S/C/G: 233/210/135

Height: 5'2

Default

I am about to be so honest here the reason i finally dais i am going to get up off from my big fat *** and get on this treadmill and start losing some weight was because my miserable husband was cheating on me everyday day when i can home from work he would tell me oh your home fat cow you are worthless look at you everytime you walk the whole house trembles i cant even stand looking at you i feel disgusted just seeing you we wouldnt even sleep together he would sleep on the floor...well I finall found out that yes my suspicions where right he was with someone else and you know that give me that little boost of energy to get on the exercise machine and lose some weight I use to weight 300+ i am still trying to lose more i am now at 220 and everday eat a little healthier and do my workout i am hoping to lose this 20 lbs by thanksgiving thats my mini goal wish me luck....but there is always something that will give you that extra boost of motivation good or bad it will tell you you know today is that day and I WILL DO IT NO MATTER WHAT!! and nothing will allow you to put off for one more day not even if you have a big wedding today and only today i will start my diet tommorow kinda thing because if you want to and are dedicated you will do it...
D22Guzman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-24-2009, 08:56 PM   #14
Senior Member
 
Mikayla's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Western PA
Posts: 424

S/C/G: 270/ticker/135

Height: 5'2

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by rockinrobin View Post
Maybe for some one, some where it WOULD help. You never know. It's not only the OP that is reading this. And if does help one person, gets that one person to thinking and taking action, then it was worth it. We're all different. We never know what's going to spark someone to make a change.
I think you are right. Coming here and reading "just do it" over and over did spark something in me. I actually say it over and over to myself again and again.

Reading those words did get me to take action and now here I am 65lbs lighter, more active than I've ever been and HAPPIER than I've ever been. This Christmas I really will be a whole new person and it's all because I decided to "just do it"

And now being on plan for 9 months, there is no better advice I can give. Just start, make a plan and commit to following through. You can do it!
__________________
Mikayla is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-24-2009, 09:16 PM   #15
NOT Aging Gracefully!
 
jelder227's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Baytown TX
Posts: 215

S/C/G: 204/ticker/126

Height: 5' 8"

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lori Bell View Post
"Fake it till you make it"
Absolutely - to some extent I faked it until I had no choice. I signed up for a "boot camp" with a friend, watched my diet, and let EVERYONE know that I was doing it. Then it became way too embarrassing not to follow through . . .I'm only down 30 pounds in a year and a half. But it's enough that that I'm in the healthy range and look great compared to what I did. Especially as I've shaped up quite a bit also.

Despite how far I still have to go, now everyone considers me a "success" and an "expert" - and asks for advice. I can't backslide.
__________________
30 Day Shred - Get back to being able to do it!!

Mini Goal 1 - 189 - No longer "Obese"
Mini Goal 2 - 172 - Start looking OK
Mini Goal 3 - 156 - No longer "Overweight", also low weight in the last 12 years
Mini Goal 4 - 145 - Because I NEEED little goals
Mini Goal 5 - 132 - 1988 Weight
FINAL GOAL - 126
jelder227 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply
Posts by members, moderators and admins are not considered medical advice
and no guarantee is made against accuracy.


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 01:25 AM.






Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2015, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.3.2