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Old 10-24-2009, 02:08 AM   #1
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Default So frustrated and disappointed

Hi all!
I am relatively new to 3FC but a veteran to weight loss (and gain).
I guess I am just reaching out to anyone right now.
I was, at one time, ten years ago 370 lbs. I now weigh 196. BUT I have been 150 before and that was the best feeling in the world!!!
I packed on the extra 50 after my complete hysterectomy in 2007 and high doses of Premarin.
I have weaned myself off of the Premarin and rely on supplements (soy isoflavones, black cohash, etc). I have started to lose OUNCES (hahahahaha) but nothing significant.
My problem now is my hubby of 20 plus years eyeing every young, hard bodied girl that walks the face of the earth (he is 53 YO).
I know, what's my point? I am not sure I have one. I cry all of the time. We fight all of the time and I will starve myself and workout but to no avail.
I am almost 50 and a size 10. He nevers says anything about my weight but when I was a size 4 he LOVED feeling my bones and wrapping his arms around me. I don't know what I am trying to say...he doesn't say anything but it is "different" now...

Can anyone help me?? What is the fastest way to lose weight? How can I do it without losing any hair? (I have lost tons of hair since hysterectomy except now I grown chin hair; maybe I should grow out the chin hair and do a comb up to my scalp??)

Thanks for letting me cry on your shoulder....
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Old 10-24-2009, 08:03 AM   #2
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Hi! You made me laugh about the chin hair!!

As for weight loss, we don't often advocate fastest weight loss, but most sustainable. Too frequently people lose weight quickly, but gain it back and then some because the habits they used to learn weight aren't the kind of habits that you need to maintain the loss.

I think you've seen that -- starving and working out tends to backfire.

Instead, I would recommend a plan of diet and exercise that you can stick with for life! As for what that plan is, there are lots out there to choose from. I am a calorie counter, but I also try to eat healthy foods as much as possible. I eat at least 5 times a day, and try to eat foods that help keep me feeling full (lots of protein, whole grains, fiber...)
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Old 10-24-2009, 08:24 AM   #3
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Hi Lizzy. Congratulations on maintaining the majority of your awesome weight loss. How did you do it? Can you do it again?

Oh and about your hubby, well, just start eyeballing every hard-bodied hot young male running around, nothing wrong with human appreciation. It's actually kind of fun!
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Old 10-24-2009, 08:27 AM   #4
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Hello from another newbie!

I don't really have any advice about weight loss but I do know that all middle aged men look at young women, the only consolation I can offer is that, unless he's very rich indeed, they won't be looking back with anything but pity and that sooner or later he'll notice that.

Well done on your previous weight loss, if you've done it once, I'm sure that you'll be able to do it again. Well, that's what I'm telling myself anyway.
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Old 10-24-2009, 08:40 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trudiha View Post

I don't really have any advice about weight loss but I do know that all middle aged men look at young women, the only consolation I can offer is that, unless he's very rich indeed, they won't be looking back with anything but pity and that sooner or later he'll notice that.
LOL, isn't that the truth! LOL... Anyway, I agree with the post by Heather, it's not about fast but the sustaining, and exercising moderately and eating good, healthy foods.
I'm sorry, because it's not fun when husband's are looking at someone else besides you, but start feeling good about yourself, and you will be glowing from the inside out. The ladies in the Bible times focused on their relationship with God, and this is true beauty. That's what I want to be like. Really and truly beautiful, from the inside out. Be a blessing to him and look for ways to esteem him, for we reap what we sow. Start sowing mercy and kindness to him, and hope that it will be returned by him.
Have a wonderful day and
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Old 10-24-2009, 09:07 AM   #6
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Hang in - the chin hair is just a few - make nasty with the tweezers!

I'd agree with the suggestion of looking at the hot young things yourself - what's good for the goose.

I'm not sure what you've done in the past, but sometimes a little change will do wonders. I do the Carbohydrate Addicts diet - it loses fast enough to keep me motivated. My dad's a runner/cyclist and he uses it for a couple of weeks to drop any extra weight after a vacation or something. Give it a shot.

Good luck!
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Old 10-24-2009, 09:26 AM   #7
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Hi Lizzy! Hang in there. I often get that feeling of wanting to lose a ton of weight quickly -- for nothing else than to get me motivated and in the mindset to stop eating so much. From someone who was also originally heavier (started out at 195 in high school), I understand where you're coming from. I've gained some of the weight I lost, and it's a disappointing feeling. But this board will offer support and we can all do it together!
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Old 10-24-2009, 09:34 AM   #8
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Going from a high of 370 to 196 is awesome. I am sure you don't want to go back to 370. Do this for yourself , make your health a priority . I personally find counting calories works best for me. I have also lost and regained, I hate when that happens ! I have done many diets and have found that if I stay with calorie counting I maintain my loss . You can do it , too.
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Old 10-24-2009, 10:03 AM   #9
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You have done wonderful so far with your weight loss. I think you just need to get back on track and do things the right way.

Men do look at younger built women -- just the way they are but doesn't mean that they REALLY want that. Just like the other said - we may look at a young buff guy but doesn't mean we really want that.

Hang in there and do this for you!
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Old 10-24-2009, 10:04 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Heather View Post
Hi! You made me laugh about the chin hair!!

As for weight loss, we don't often advocate fastest weight loss, but most sustainable. Too frequently people lose weight quickly, but gain it back and then some because the habits they used to learn weight aren't the kind of habits that you need to maintain the loss.

I think you've seen that -- starving and working out tends to backfire.

Instead, I would recommend a plan of diet and exercise that you can stick with for life! As for what that plan is, there are lots out there to choose from. I am a calorie counter, but I also try to eat healthy foods as much as possible. I eat at least 5 times a day, and try to eat foods that help keep me feeling full (lots of protein, whole grains, fiber...)

I agree with Heather. You have to find an eating plan that is sustainable for life and we all know starving is not it.
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Disclaimer: I am not a registered dietitian, nutritionist, any kind of health professional or fitness expert...I'm just a woman who's lost 161.5 pounds so far with a lot of hard work.

Last edited by Onederchic : 10-24-2009 at 10:05 AM.
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Old 10-24-2009, 05:13 PM   #11
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Thank you to everyone for your replies HOWEVER when he doesn't come to your marital bed for over a week (after your wedding ceremony when u are supposed to be on your honeymoon) because he is more interested in self gratification looking at images on the computer...well, he REALLY does want that. Problem is I didn't know any of this (yes, call me stupid; he told me he was tired...) until this year...almost 21 years into the marriage and after he had been busted for trying to find his "true love" from college (and she dumped him) this year on Valentine's Day....
I am not good enough or thin enough or anything enough and I get it...
Good news...starving does work....lost 8 lbs in 3 days...can't function or move but, hey, I will be skinny!!!

Last edited by LizzieRules : 10-24-2009 at 05:14 PM.
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Old 10-24-2009, 05:17 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trudiha View Post
Hello from another newbie!

I don't really have any advice about weight loss but I do know that all middle aged men look at young women, the only consolation I can offer is that, unless he's very rich indeed, they won't be looking back with anything but pity and that sooner or later he'll notice that.

Well done on your previous weight loss, if you've done it once, I'm sure that you'll be able to do it again. Well, that's what I'm telling myself anyway.
No! He is faaarrrrrr from rich! I was the sole provider and very well indeed...just not skinny enough, blonde enough, whatever enough....
I have always provided for our family and I have always earned the money. Period. I bought him his 40k truck and his 4k computer and his golf clubs, and country club membership, etc.
Ok....so everyone tell me what a major idiot I am??
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Old 10-24-2009, 05:19 PM   #13
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I'm sorry you're hurting so much! It sounds like you have bigger issues than your weight -- it's not about you, it's about HIM. I know a lot of women are in loving relationships no matter their weight, and there are skinny women whose husbands' eyes rove...

And yes, starving does work in the short term, but usually not in the long run. I really wish you the best of luck, it sounds like you're in a lot of pain right now.
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Old 10-24-2009, 05:20 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LizzieRules View Post
Thank you to everyone for your replies HOWEVER when he doesn't come to your marital bed for over a week (after your wedding ceremony when u are supposed to be on your honeymoon) because he is more interested in self gratification looking at images on the computer...well, he REALLY does want that. Problem is I didn't know any of this (yes, call me stupid; he told me he was tired...) until this year...almost 21 years into the marriage and after he had been busted for trying to find his "true love" from college (and she dumped him) this year on Valentine's Day....
I am not good enough or thin enough or anything enough and I get it...
Good news...starving does work....lost 8 lbs in 3 days...can't function or move but, hey, I will be skinny!!!

I truly hope you are joking. Starving may cause you to drop some pounds quickly but it won't last. Your body will go into starvation mode and your weight loss will stall.
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Achievement seems to be connected with action. Successful men and women keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don't quit.
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Disclaimer: I am not a registered dietitian, nutritionist, any kind of health professional or fitness expert...I'm just a woman who's lost 161.5 pounds so far with a lot of hard work.
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Old 10-24-2009, 05:20 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ryanne View Post
LOL, isn't that the truth! LOL... Anyway, I agree with the post by Heather, it's not about fast but the sustaining, and exercising moderately and eating good, healthy foods.
I'm sorry, because it's not fun when husband's are looking at someone else besides you, but start feeling good about yourself, and you will be glowing from the inside out. The ladies in the Bible times focused on their relationship with God, and this is true beauty. That's what I want to be like. Really and truly beautiful, from the inside out. Be a blessing to him and look for ways to esteem him, for we reap what we sow. Start sowing mercy and kindness to him, and hope that it will be returned by him.
Have a wonderful day and
What is the "Bible Times" and could you steer me in that direction?
I am very interested.
Thank you.
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