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Old 10-19-2009, 08:02 AM   #1
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Default could use a little support...

Hi everyone.
I came to this site about a year ago, after losing around 90 lbs and finding those horrible sagging skin wasn't going away.
I was really inspired by the wonderful and supportive people here.
So now I'm back, with a slightly less hopeful feeling.

I had a long period of depression, and found it harder and harder to keep losing weight. I don't know if i'd go straight to saying I "fell off the wagon", since I kept up my diet for the most part, in many ways I had changed my lifestyle. I just don't crave or have an interest in potato chips or soda, etc.

But I let up. I had a lot of sweets, and mostly I didn't control my portions as much. And I let up on my exercising big time, partially due to my knee injury flaring up making it so I couldn't run anymore.

I am stylish and know how to dress for my figure and hide my flaws, so I hadn't really realised or admitted that I had gained weight back until I went my mom to the doctor and on a lark decided to get on the scale. I had gone from 160 to 187! And I was never happy with 160 either, but that last 30+ had been so much harder to lose, all the small changes I had made in my diet and my bit of exercising just wasn't enough to get me past that 160. Perhaps that discouraging was part of it.

I've been trying to get back on the wagon the last month but it's been slow going and I feel like I'm spiraling into constantly feeling like "the fat girl" again, and my feelings of hopelessness and lack of self worth are affecting other areas of my life too. I am a multimedia artist and I do work with video and photography, and everytime I see myself on camera I just want to cry I look so big. It's making it hard for me to want to continue with my projects!

I'm looking for what to do next, I have started doing some crunches and light exercising, but I keep falling behind. I would like to try something new, it's difficult because I live in the country so I cannot go to gym etc. and I have limited space in my house for home exercising, but I can work around it. Does anyone have any suggestions for good home work out programs that don't require equipment?

Any help and support would be appreciated, thanks you guys.
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Old 10-19-2009, 08:29 AM   #2
Half Marathoner!!!
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First of all, do not beat yourself up over what has happened in the past. You gained back some weight, but you caught it before it got too out of hand. Good for you! I know there are days when it feels like all your efforts aren't showing or aren't getting results, but they are! Just be as consistent with your food and exercise as possible. Take it one day at a time. You can do this!

Made it to ONEDERLAND (the first time) 16/nov/2009!!!
Gained some back, but will be back in ONEDERLAND soon!
Couch 2 5k Graduate
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Old 10-19-2009, 08:45 AM   #3
Here we go again...
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I think the most important thing for you to do is tackle your food. You said you have a problem with portion sizes. I have the same problem and I force myself to weigh food to know exactly what I'm eating. I'm still not 100% able to eyeball everything, but I do know (now) that what I was eating before was 2X what I imagined it to be. So I would suggest getting your food portions under control. That's great that you're not interested in chips and soda! Makes your life that much easier. I'm assuming you cook healthy meals? A tip: if you're living/cooking for yourself, just make enough for one meal. Measure out what 1/2 cup cooked rice is (1/4 cup raw rice, thereabouts) and only cook that. That way, portion control is done for you.

Living in the country affords its own advantages. You must have plenty of areas where you can walk. Take a walk! Start out with 15 minutes a day. I would suggest first getting your diet under control and then incorporating exercise. One step at a time or you'll feel overwhelmed. After 15 minutes, move on to longer times with more intensity as you feel comfortable. Walking is the best exercise for any kind of recovering body part. It's a basic movement so it can only help. Of course, make sure your doc is ok with you exercising and check in with him/her time to time to make sure you're not overdoing it.

Good luck, chickie!! I just recently got back on the exercise wagon so I know how you feel. BUT, we can do it! You did it once before you can do it again.

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Old 10-19-2009, 08:45 AM   #4
One Old Jedi
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Hang in there girl, love is on the way !!! C'mon 3 Fatties....

My 2c. = First of all, the best advice I have personally heard lately was ...
New starts now! The past is the past, nothing can be done about that.

1) I will begin anew right now, this very minute!

The future has not been written, I will craft the future starting right now!

2) I am to be honest with myself, I am who I am, I can be a better me and I will start today.

I own my actions, accept that I have done them, and will from this point forward craft a better future with better choices.

We must accept ourselves, love ourselves, and determine to make a better world for ourselves!

As for what to do around the home, the best word is move....
Me I try every day, take the long way,
Walk laps, find stairs, climb them, have a dog walk them, have a floor push off it,
find a kid or a dog and do what they do.. got a bike ride it...in short, move

Lastly know that you are loved...
The Orange One
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Old 10-19-2009, 08:56 AM   #5
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Thanks so much for your support and encouragement everyone!

I do take walks actually, usually like a half hour every night, but it's a sort of leisurely pace so I've been trying to move it up to a faster paced walk for more aerobic than just cause I enjoy walking. Plus I don't make it out there every night, for various reasons.

I have also started parking my car very far away in parking lots, etc. trying to get as much extra walking in there. But it feels like very baby steps, I guess I'm afraid that little things like that would make more difference when I was heavier but that I need to do even more to get through this part of the weight loss, more "serious" kind of exercising if that makes sense? what do you all think?

Thanks for the portion control suggestions. I think perhaps though, if I'm being honest with myself (and that may be the best advice I've heard), my biggest problem comes not with the portions but snacking while cooking. I cook for me and my mom, but give us the same size portion even though I have already eaten a lot by the time the plates reach the table. I tried putting a hankie over my mouth while I was cooking, which seemed to help a lot, but I stopped cause I was so embarrassed of myself and my lack of control that I would need something like that! I guess it's not as embarrassing as being back up to a size 14 is now.

Thank you everyone, I'm still feeling a bit rough, but I am definitely inspired to do better. It can be so hard sometimes, to feel like your goal is so far away and impossible to reach and everything you do is never enough.
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Old 10-19-2009, 09:04 AM   #6
One Old Jedi
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I have lost weight many times....

Always gained it when I lost my way.....

Look at yourself, look at your behaviors, and I know you see what I call "the leaks"
Don't have to do much but - fix the "leak"

Start with a leak at a time, decide the fix and implement it!!!

Wash, rinse, repeat .....

The Orange One

Last edited by PSP Orange : 10-19-2009 at 09:05 AM. Reason: A Damn Good One
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Old 10-19-2009, 09:16 AM   #7
Making good habits
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walking can make a big difference over a long period of time... I try to take the stairs, walk instead of ride in a car, etc and when I do that I just try to remember that I'm doing good and in the end it will pay off...
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Old 10-19-2009, 12:05 PM   #8
Focused on the Future
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You are reaching out but you have to accept as well. I know there is a lot of great advice on the boards! Do you have DVD player? You could get some videos to work out with or look at your listings -- sometimes there are work out shows on tv. YOu could try those as well.

Just don't give up -- big hugs!

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Old 10-19-2009, 12:18 PM   #9
I've only just begun! :)
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First of all, good for you for recognising the problem and reaching out. You're in the right place!
Second - huge kudos for losing 90lbs to start with. That is enormous (no pun intended) and you deserve a big pat on the back!
Third - give yourself a break...this is life, not a prison. So you fell off the wagon? No-one says you have to jump right back on...maybe you want to walk beside it for a while, see how it feels. For me I know that telling myself I have to lose 120lbs and can never eat yummy unhealthy food again is a no-no - I'm just going to fail at that. So, I'm working on one day at a time. Yesterday I stuck to my plan (I'm doing CAD as I like having that reward meal at night and I hate portion control - I just don't have time). Today I'm on track to stick to it. That's the best I think anyone can do.
As for the exercise, have you tried yoga? It's amazing when done regularly and provides such huge benefits beyond just weight loss. Also, if you have a knee injury, it will aide in the recovery etc.
Hang in and if you ever want to chat to someone else less than perfect, drop me a PM.
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Old 10-19-2009, 12:59 PM   #10
Recovering Pantry Pest
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Hi, Sugar! Welcome back! I've had big issues with nibbling during cooking as well, and still rely heavily on chewing gum while preparing meals (and sometimes for cleanup too, if the leftovers are too tempting) to help break that habit. I'll also throw in a vote for a food scale, as I had NO clue about how far off I was on estimating portions until I bought one! I like PSP's comment about "New starts NOW!" 'Tis the truth!
~ Becky ~
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Old 10-19-2009, 03:29 PM   #11
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No diet tips, but I do like your sense of style!
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Old 10-20-2009, 02:21 AM   #12
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Height: 5"3


Thanks again everyone!
I woke up today so renewed, and I've had a really good day. I set up little iCal reminders on my computer to pop up at times when I should be exercising or right before meal time, to remind me to be better. I sort of used my computer to nag myself and it was really helpful!
It was also helpful to know I had somewhere to report to how things went today, thanks you guys, seriously.
And also for all your additional suggestions! I am totally trying the chewing gum thing, great idea!! I will feel way less embarrassed than the mask, and I love chewing gum anyway.
I can use my laptop as a DVD player but I'm not sure what DVD would be a good one, there seems to be a neverending amount! I have done a bit of yoga, my mom used to teach it back in the 70s so I've sort of grown up around it, but I worry that it's not aerobic.
Although you know I have been thinking about everything you all said, especially the 'fixing the leaks' concept, and I realised that after my initial weight loss and then hitting the wall at 160, I started to use that as an excuse for doing less. That everything I was doing wasn't enough, that a little bit of yoga wasn't going to be enough it had to be hard aerobics, and by telling myself that little things weren't enough, I had an excuse for not doing the little things! So now I am going to start fixing any small things I can, cutting away any little things to make it just that little bit better. Be it walking a little further or a little faster, or even eating one less bite.
I know enough about weight loss to know it's a constant struggle and it comes up and down, but for now anyway I'm thrilled to be having a good day!
Also, thanks very much HungryHippo!! Lots of great clothes has been my prize for all my hard work, I think I took to clothes shopping more voraciously than your average person after my weight loss because it was such a novelty for me to go into vintage stores and have things fit!
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