I think I was born allergic to sugar. I think it runs in my family. I have been overweight from birth. Never ate lots, just carb-heavy. The only way I could lose weight when I was younger was to just plain starve. Then I found Atkins in 1999, and it was like magic. The weight just fell off. Then I went through a divorce in 2003, and didn't care anymore, and went back to eating yummy carbs, and gained it all back and then some. Then I was extremely depressed for five years, and gave up. Didn't care. Then I finally worked through the depression and 'remembered' the Atkins. Went back on it, and within DAYS realized that *I* am far more important than any carb. Now, here I am, 140 lbs lighter, and I refuse to ever go back to sugar. No matter what. I've been through several emotional crises since beginning this journey but none of them have sent me running back to starchy sugary nasty unhealthy carbs. I'm done with them...forever.
I think there's a certain amount of validity to set point theories. I mean, my weight got up to 211 due to food choices I made, and lack of exercise, but I didn't have to TRY not to get to 300+. I just didn't get there.
And I would venture to guess that there are many people who DID get to 300+ while eating the same things I did, and exercising as little as I did - or maybe more than I did! I think it's ABSOLUTELY not as simple as calories in-calories out.
Here's an example. For months I've been ranging around 1500 to 1800 calories a day. Most weeks, I lost an average of 1 pound.
I got a little crazy and went back on the PWLC diet at 800 calories a day. At the end of that week - I'd lost 1 pound.
If it were a simple matter of cals in/cals out, I should have, by that math, lost 2.5-3 pounds, compared to the calories and weight loss I'd been experiencing prior to my super reduced calorie week. But that didn't happen (darnit! all that starving for nothing).
So while I absolutely agree that lifestyle choices we make do affect our present weight, it's also somewhat true, IMO, that you're going to weigh what you're going to weigh - just the same as a woman who wants to weigh 120 and she "lets herself" get to 145 and feels aweful...but no matter what she does and how lax she gets, she's never going to get to 200+ because that's just not in her physiology.
But all of this is not to say that we don't have the obligation to take care of ourselves, and do what we need to do to keep ourselves at a healthy weight - we DO have that obligation, and even though it may be phyisiologically more challenging for us to stay at a healthy weight - we do owe it to ourselves to do that
I also wanted to say, now that I've lost about 45 pounds, my husband has started feeling comfortable retroactively addressing my weight gain. I was about 150 when we met. I was about 190 when we moved in together, 200 when we got married, and topped out around 211. I would talk throughout that time about wanting to lose weight, and had a few false starts, but I really never got it under control until recently.
While talking about other issues, ie communication on touchy subjects, he's brought up the fact that he wanted to say something about my weight gain, out of concern for ME, but he didn't know how to approach it, didn't want to hurt my feelings, etc.
We are friends with a couple, and the wife is about 360 lbs. While they are obviously deeply in love and care for each other, by both their accounts their sex life is non-existent, and their enjoyment of life is somewhat limited by her health and mobility issues. In fact, spending time on vacation with this couple last year, with the wife not really able to leave her room for the whole 2 weeks we were at a beautiful beach house, was a turning point for me in terms of - not only do I want to relegate MYSELF to such a limited life, I also don't want to drag my husband down into that pit with me. He is vivacious and active and always on the go. While the primary motivator to lose weight should be one's self and one's own health and happiness, it does bear mentioning that we also owe it to our spouses and families to stay healthy and active, to fully participate in their lives, and to give them a parent/partner with whom to fully enjoy life.
We were at a state park last weekend and we walked about 1/2 mile out onto the jetty. My husband commented, "You would have never done this 'before'". I told him that was true - because carrying around 45 extra pounds, walking around was uncomfortable, physically! And also mentally, due to not feeling good about myself, I had no mental energy or ambition either. Now that I've lost weight and I'm in better shape from exercising, I can participate in activities that are fun and important to my husband, and I regret the time that I allowed myself to get so out of shape that he missed sharing those moments with me.
So things are much better on that front. When we talked about the issue last night, I apologized for letting myself get like that, because it reduced quality of life for BOTH of us. In terms of WHY I let it happen? I'm not sure. But in terms of now having another reason not to let it happen again? Well, if I can't get to the point where I love myself enough to do it JUST for me, now I have the experience of having a supportive husband whom I do love enough to keep myself healthy and fit - for both our quality of life
And being comfortable enough to walk around naked in front of him again - opens up new doors that don't bear mentioning in this forum!
Prior to losing the weight and even during the weight loss process I gave it very little thought. Nowadays I think about the reasons and am very honest with myself. I find it really helps me to maintain.
Mine was genes and environment. As a teen I was slim - my girlfriends and I walked everywhere - we'd think nothing of walking 20 miles in a day to go to town. My parents are basically aging hippies and we always only ate healthy stuff. Then depression started in my teens - undiagnosed, but definitely there.
I got married at 20 and had my son at 21. Within the year after his birth, we had five funerals (three my family) and moved to Canada (from England). I was in this strange country, with a vast fast food culture that I wasn't used to, living and working with my in laws who are rigid, judgemental and cold...and who were going through the loss of their youngest son (our fifth funeral - car accident at 18). It was February and I'd never seen so much snow in my life - combined!
I had my first breakdown. For a year I got steadily worse and worse, I could barely get out of bed. I didn't cook, I didn't clean, I didn't go out. I had nowhere to go, no friends, no family and I couldn't cope with the snow that first winter. My doctor at the time told me to have another baby and I'd be fine - then he prescribed valium, librium and lithium. I was basically a functional zombie. My husband would get home and I'd just tell him to pick something up. So we ate junk every night - and a lot of it.
I didn't care about anything. I was so unhappy and alone, and I didn't even notice the weight going on. I gained 150lbs in a year. When my parents came out 14 months after we moved here my mum said that without my husband stood next to me, she wouldn't have recognised me in the airport.
I finally went home to university and took a break from my husband and his family. I was gone 18 months and dropped 50lbs, just by being happier. I got a good gp who finally diagnosed the depression and we started working on meds.
It's now 18 years on. I've still got 100lbs or so to lose - it's gone up and down over the years. The depression is finally (touch wood) under control with meds, and I'm ready to start facing the weight. I'm more in control of my life, and my reactions to my family and my past. After almost 20 years, I'm finding ME again. Now I just need to clear the weight so that everyone else can see her, too.
Thanks for asking this - hope I've not bored anyone. It IS good to hear other people's stories.
Yes and its so frusturating. Since 2002, I have gained and lost sooo much weight, with the lowest being around 177 and the highest being 290. I am hovering somewhere in between now and even then gain and lose the same 20lbs over and over again. For me, when I'm doing good, I am on top of the world. When things start going bad, I eat and eat. Even when its good again, I'm so far into it, that the eating continues. I feel disgusted that I keep regaining everything that I work so hard to lose.
I have been a self abuser since as far back as I cant remember. I just had to pickup where everyone else left off. I put on the FAT suit on and no one bothers me especially the opposite sex. its feels good. that's the first time I've had the guts to say that to anyone.
I am an emotional eater. I had minor weight issues as a teen, but in 9th grade I lost 40 pounds and maintained that weight give or take 5 pounds until my 13 yo son was about 2...then I have gradually gained the 115 pounds a little each year. For me it was fast food with the kids while we were on the go combined with loving to eat yummy tasting food. Pasta is hard for me. When I am hungry for pasta I want to eat it until I feel like I need a nap.
I think for me the food is a comfort even though it always makes me feel worse about myself. Being fat protects me from men hitting on me. Early in my marriage I was almost unfaithful because of attention from men. I was weak and young. It scared the heck out of me and I think on some subconscious level I started putting on the weight to protect my marriage. My husband has only said something about my weight maybe three times and it was always out of anger. We both have had our issues, but our marriage is at the best place it has ever been. I want to lose the weight for myself, but I also want to be sexy for my husband again.
I am sad that I let myself balloon up to 257. It scares me to think I am so close to 300 pounds. I could be in denial as long as I didn't see photos of myself because for some reason I can look in the mirror and tell myself it isn't that bad, but there is no denying my size in a photo. I don't want to beat myself up anymore, but I definitely need new habits. That is why I am here! I am so thankful for this community of sister "fat chicks."
Then I joined this board for added support and time and time again I read posts similar to the one above and it hit me: It doesn't really matter so much why I got so fat, what really matters is that I have can change it. I have the power to change my eating habits I have the power to make better food choices and become more active, and lose weight. Putting that philosophy in practice has made all the difference for me :-)
My story no different than YOURS (yes, you reading this ) I was an average, fit, healthy kid/teen. Always ate what I wanted, never learned about portion control, or eating "healthy". In my later teens I was a little bigger more "athletic", I know if I wasn't a swimmer in HS I would have packed on some pounds. I was in the Army for 4 years, fit active but still never mindful of what I ate. I went from the 160's/170's in 2001 to 240 lbs in 2008. I packed on those pounds because I stopped working out, got older (slower metabolism), and still ate whatever I pleased.
I'll admit once I got over 200lbs I got the “who cares attitude” and probably ate even more. I love food but I know I got big because I ate crap, too much of it because of other issues. I like many of you am trying to work on some of those issues. But as Mikayla said, "It doesn't really matter so much why I got so fat, what really matters is that I can change it."
It is scary trying to face your issues as to "Why you’re fat" but it finally occurred to me that I am worth it, my health, and happiness is worth it. Sometimes you just have to "suck it up" (that's the old Army in me ) and do something about it, the key is to just do something, and keep moving forward. It gets easier. All of it does, the losing weight part and dealing with the issues of why. We all have our struggles, it's not easy every day but it might be easier tomorrow so KEEP MOVING FORWARD!
I have been a self abuser since as far back as I cant remember. I just had to pickup where everyone else left off. I put on the FAT suit on and no one bothers me especially the opposite sex. its feels good. that's the first time I've had the guts to say that to anyone.
I couldnt walk for over a year due to an automobile accident and I learned alot of bad habits during that time. I was surviving on a few hundred calories a day and I messed up my metabolism so badly that when I started eating healthy again, the damage had already been done.
I have been a self abuser since as far back as I cant remember. I just had to pickup where everyone else left off. I put on the FAT suit on and no one bothers me especially the opposite sex. its feels good. that's the first time I've had the guts to say that to anyone.
I too used food to keep the opposite sex from me. I'm certain of it. No doubt in my mind. BUT, it then became just too hard and too much of a price to pay. I figured (after 20+ years mind you) that DEALING with that attention had to be easier then dealing with being super morbidly obese. And I was right.
Hugs to you whip1. You can work through this. I know it for sure.
I guess it all boils down to finding yourself worthy of happiness and health no matter what your past was like. its just that the past so why give the past an opportunity to spoil your future I wish I would have figured that out sooner. better late than never. I refuse to feed the Monster anymore...
Thanks for the Hugs! here's a Big Hug for all who needs one
) I was an average, fit, healthy kid/teen. Always ate what I wanted, never learned about portion control, or eating "healthy". In my later teens I was a little bigger more "athletic", I know if I wasn't a swimmer in HS I would have packed on some pounds. I was in the Army for 4 years, fit active but still never mindful of what I ate. I went from the 160's/170's in 2001 to 240 lbs in 2008. I packed on those pounds because I stopped working out, got older (slower metabolism), and still ate whatever I pleased. 
