Forget new tricks. This old dog is trying to remember the OLD tricks...
Ugg. This whole process is so frustrating. I had gastric bypass surgery in 2001, at 340 lbs. By 2004 I was down to 155 (!!!!). Over the past few years I've developed a taste for fried food, alcohol and lazy living...and by July 21, 2009 I was 197.
Seeing the scale pushing closer to 200, I flipped. Since then I've been fighting to get back down to where I wanted to be. My weight today is 178. My faulty memory remembers that my lowest weight was 165, when I met my husband....and for 2.5 months I have been fighting for the goal of hitting 165 by the end of this year. I'm 13 lbs away from reaching that goal. Checking my Dr records, however, showed that I was off by 10 lbs. Like I said above, apparently in 2004 I was down to 155. My ultimate goal has always been 150...and to find out that I was just 5 lbs away from meeting my goal, before I let myself go has been a crushing surprise. Plus, to realize that even if I make 165 by January 1, I will STILL be 10 lbs heavier than when my hubby met me.
I'm frustrated. Yes, I know...I've only been back on track 2 and a half months...and I can't expect to take off in 5 months the 42 lbs that took me 5 years to gain. I've done the weight loss thing before (considering that I'm 162 lbs lighter than my highest weight) and I KNOW how to do this..but I feel like an old dog trying to re-learn the old tricks. All of the difficulty with adjusting to my changing body, all of the insecurity and frustration...all of the weight loss struggles are back, and it is like starting all over again.
My goal of 165 by January 1, 2010 (my birthday) still remains. My mini goals will be posted below. I've joined a gym and I'm doing at least 30 minutes of cardio, 3 times a week, to kick things up a notch.
My Re-Birthday (Gastric Bypass surgery anniversary) is April 20, 2010. I would like to Finally hit 150 by that day. It will be finally hitting my goal 9 years after surgery. I'm just feeling overwhelmed and having a hard time forgiving myself for regaining this weight after going through all the struggles to lose it in the first place.
Ok...thanks for letting me vent.
175– Need New Pictures, 10 lbs less than last set of pictures
172 before Thanksgiving weekend (10 year HS Reunion)– No longer obese, Lowest Weight since July 2006
170– Exactly ½ my highest pre-surgery weight (340)
167 – 30 lbs lost
*165 before my birthday, January 1, 2010 – June 2005 weight
Fit into Size 12
Be too small to shop at Lane Bryant