Alright, so I could use some support/words of wisdom...
I have Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified. I have suffered with this for many years. In my case, I have gone through periods of not eating, periods of bingeing and purging, periods of severe over eating.
All of this has meant that my weight has gone up and down over the years, but I've never been underweight- in fact I've pretty much always been at least 5 lbs over weight.
When I finished high school in 2007 I was about 10 lbs overweight. I was strong and healthy though. Somehow, since then I've packed on a lot of weight and I've just spent the years since then overeating.
I'm in counseling and I see a psychiatrist. And so I decided that now was the time for healthy weight loss. No more purging or starving myself. And so my journey began.
I havent been at it long. About two months. And things were going great. Haven't had any slips as far as overeating goes, haven't had any desire to stop eating entirely.
But the last couple weeks..... well my parents and friends have been concerned that I've stopped eating. They think I've lost too much too soon- for godsake, in the month of September I lost 8lbs. That took a whole month. I used to lose 8lbs in a whole week when I wasn't eating. I don't even see how people can compare the two. But whatever. They are.
Anyways, I haven't lost any weight since I met my first goal on October 1. And in my mind i'm thinking "it's not happening fast enough- if you just skip one meal, two meals, three meals, it'll happen faster."
I KNOW medically that this is not the way to lose weight. I KNOW its unhealthy, I KNOW i'll gain the weight back. But these thoughts won't go away. It's making me depressed which is making me feel fat and ugly and that makes me want to binge- which will result in me purging.
Obviously losing weight is a trigger for bad habits. But what am I supposed to do? I am overweight. I'm 5'1 and I weight 159 lbs. I need to lose weight before this gets out of control, but it sucks because food is always going to be a problem for me. I know that for the rest of my life I'm either going to be forcing myself to eat less or eat more
I'm sick of it. It's not fair.
I know no one can say anything to make this go away. I guess this is just more of a rant... I need to talk to someone about it and if I tell my friends they'll think I'm going to take up old habits again and they just don't understand anyways.
Anyone had similar problems?