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Old 10-05-2009, 10:48 PM   #1
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Join Date: Aug 2009
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Height: 5'2

Default Weight loss and eating disoder

Alright, so I could use some support/words of wisdom...

I have Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified. I have suffered with this for many years. In my case, I have gone through periods of not eating, periods of bingeing and purging, periods of severe over eating.

All of this has meant that my weight has gone up and down over the years, but I've never been underweight- in fact I've pretty much always been at least 5 lbs over weight.

When I finished high school in 2007 I was about 10 lbs overweight. I was strong and healthy though. Somehow, since then I've packed on a lot of weight and I've just spent the years since then overeating.

I'm in counseling and I see a psychiatrist. And so I decided that now was the time for healthy weight loss. No more purging or starving myself. And so my journey began.

I havent been at it long. About two months. And things were going great. Haven't had any slips as far as overeating goes, haven't had any desire to stop eating entirely.

But the last couple weeks..... well my parents and friends have been concerned that I've stopped eating. They think I've lost too much too soon- for godsake, in the month of September I lost 8lbs. That took a whole month. I used to lose 8lbs in a whole week when I wasn't eating. I don't even see how people can compare the two. But whatever. They are.

Anyways, I haven't lost any weight since I met my first goal on October 1. And in my mind i'm thinking "it's not happening fast enough- if you just skip one meal, two meals, three meals, it'll happen faster."

I KNOW medically that this is not the way to lose weight. I KNOW its unhealthy, I KNOW i'll gain the weight back. But these thoughts won't go away. It's making me depressed which is making me feel fat and ugly and that makes me want to binge- which will result in me purging.

Obviously losing weight is a trigger for bad habits. But what am I supposed to do? I am overweight. I'm 5'1 and I weight 159 lbs. I need to lose weight before this gets out of control, but it sucks because food is always going to be a problem for me. I know that for the rest of my life I'm either going to be forcing myself to eat less or eat more

I'm sick of it. It's not fair.

I know no one can say anything to make this go away. I guess this is just more of a rant... I need to talk to someone about it and if I tell my friends they'll think I'm going to take up old habits again and they just don't understand anyways.

Anyone had similar problems?
Mini Goal 1 [159 lbs]
Mini Goal 2 [149 lbs]
Mini Goal 3 [139 lbs]
* 136 lbs- "normal" BMI *
Mini Goal 4 [129 lbs]
Mini Goal 5 [120 lbs]
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Old 10-06-2009, 02:24 AM   #2
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S/C/G: 268/CW/125


Losing weight is a trigger for many of us. It forces us to take a look at our habits and our coping mechanisms or maladaptive ones. Yes, I have had similar problems. I've had BED for many years and was a bulimic for 1-2 years. I've starved, purged, binged, stuffed myself into oblivion where I was in a self-induced food comas, and other maladaptive actions. I understand the the self-hatred of your body. I was obsessed with the numbers on the scale. I understand the urgency of wanting to look normal or be thin and considered attractive by societal standards.

My last go around of losing 62 pounds I starved myself and ate very little. When I would eat, it was mainly unhealthy food. My hair started to fall out in clumps...not attractive and scared me. The results of my actions were having my gallbladder removed due the stringent dieting and binge-eating. It wasn't worth it, at all. Losing weight is NOT worth your health. It took me 3 days in the hospital to realize that. Before my surgery, I really didn't care about the negative consequences. The damage that we do to our bodies is not worth it. Try buying back your health once it is gone. Sweetie, we only have one body for a lifetime. We don't get to trade it in. Really think about if your actions are the best for your future or in the long term. For years, I struggled with the stupid numbers on the scale. I let it mess with my self-worth. It wasn't until my Anatomy and Physiology instructor stated certain consequences(damage) to my body. No, I haven't been perfect. It is a struggle everyday.

Your body needs the proper nutrients for our vital organs to function. Our brain needs carbohydrates to function properly. Please stop torturing your body.

What helped: having a food journal, counting calories, and follwing the ADA guidelines. I didn't realize I was addicted to sugar. Find out your recommended caloric allowance per day. Many successful weight loss losers preplan their calories the day before that will ensure success. LoriBell, cfmama, and Rockinrobin are successful weight loss losers that planned and won. I'm sure there are other people too. Eat enough and you will lose weight. Do this healthfully and you can lose it and keep it off. Weight training helps boost your metabolism too. If a scale is a problem, then use clothing as a better gauge. There is a way to do this without compromising your health.

"it's not happening fast enough- if you just skip one meal, two meals, three meals, it'll happen faster."
Fast does not equal better long-term. What are the consequences and who does it hurt? Focus on health, longevity...

It's making me depressed which is making me feel fat and ugly and that makes me want to binge- which will result in me purging.
Is bingeing and purging going to get you there(to your goal faster)? No. It is going to torture you and create a negative spiral downward, only to reinforce what you don't want. I know this is hard for you. You can do this. Focus on completing weight lifting and cardio instead of focusing on feeling ugly and fat. Redirect your thoughts to completion of eating enough calories a day and exercising--you will get there. My heart does go out to you. The best thing you can do is research the consequences of the bingeing, starving, and purging. Research the benefits of exercise. Switch the focus.

Check out the success stories.

I implore you to look deep inside yourself and ask, "Does the starving, bingeing, purging, and overstuffing make you happy? Does it make you feel good about yourself? What are some healthier choices you can engage in to prolong your life instead of destroying your body? Sorry for the length of this post. I know what it is like to be enslaved by habits that are destructive, foolish, and ruin our lives.

You can change your habits. Good luck.

Last edited by better health3; 10-06-2009 at 02:45 AM.
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Old 10-06-2009, 12:25 PM   #3
Escape from my fat suit
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S/C/G: 268/CW/125


I found this thread that may help you as well. It addresses bingeing...

It is posted by rockinrobin.

Oh it's possible. I was the worlds' worst eater. Just the worst. Binge. Binge. Binge.

I thought for many years that I was incapable of stopping to eat so poorly. I didn't have the strength, the will power, the control.

That was nonsense. Utter nonsense. I had the control the entire time. The whole time. It was always there.

How did I stop binging? I DECIDED to stop. That simple. I was sick and tired and miserable enough. I was scared enough. I just didn't want to be fat for another second and finally woke up from the fog I was in and realized that I didn't HAVE to be fat if I didn't want to be. That it WAS something that I could control. That it was within my power. In my hands. MY CHOICE.

I suggest you stop telling yourself that you CAN'T stop binging and start telling yourself that you most certainly CAN. I mean why not? No one is forcing the food down your throat. It IS up to you. Be brutally honest. Realize this. Own it. DECIDE to stop. Once and for all and no matter what. Tell yourself over and over again that you CAN do this. I mean why not? Why the heck not. It's not will power that you need. It's WILLINGNESS. What are you willing to do? Set yourself up for success. Make a plan. Get rid of the junk food. Don't purchase it. Make a vow, a pledge, an IRONCLAD COMMITMENT to do this and then see it through. Whatever it takes.

I wish someone would have told me years ago that I was capable of doing this (started my journey at 42 years old). Well I'm here to tell YOU that you most certainly CAN do this. Without a doubt. I'm certain of it. You CAN do this. And you should. Why wouldn't you?

Trust me on this one, it is the very best decision you will ever make, bar none.

What helps me not to binge as much is eating smaller meals 5-6 throughout the day. When I feed my body the healthy nutrients it needs, I am less likely to binge because I am already full. I know we are different people and you need to figure out what works best for you. I also found it helpful to carry around healthier snacks, so I wasn't forced to buy some unhealthy food. Nuts, fruits, vegetables, V-8, string cheese etc.
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