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Old 09-04-2009, 10:59 AM   #1  
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Exclamation Uh Oh… Odd Problem!

Ok, so I’ve hit a major mental bump in the road. I’m only on the 3rd day of my new and improved lifestyle, and I’ve got a major problem… I’m due to be maid of honor in a pretty nice wedding in October, which is why I have set a mini-goal and a major part of my incentive… and the bride bought my lovely dress by today. I really HATED this dress, but not because of how it looks. The first dress that they had picked was horrendous; the new one that I’ve got is beautiful. The reason I hate this new and beautiful dress is because I had to order a size 22, when only a few years ago I was wearing dress sizes 16 and 18. When I tried on the different dresses in the bridal shop and was told I needed a 22, I was floored. So, I automatically hated this dress due to that fact. Here is where the problem lies:

I love this dress, and I don’t think I look that bad in it.

Sounds like a problem I would want to have, doesn’t it? But I’m afraid that it’s going to make me lazy and slack. I was thinking it would need some alterations, but when I tried it on it fit perfectly and looked pretty darn nice. So I’m scared to death that this is going to make me get in the mindset that I don’t need to lose weight because I don’t look as terrible as I thought and because the dress doesn’t need alterations as I am now. The only problem I actually have with myself in the dress is my arms, which are terribly ugly, huge, and wobbly. I caught myself thinking “Well, all I really need to do is tone up my arms…” That kind of thinking can be dangerous! So any ideas to how I can kick my own butt back into the right mindset?
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Old 09-04-2009, 11:10 AM   #2  
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Quit trying to make excuses for yourself and lose the weight, the dress will be beautiful, altered or not! On top of that... YOU will feel wonderful as well.

Good luck!
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Old 09-04-2009, 11:15 AM   #3  
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Wedding attire ALWAYS runs small. Perhaps 18 could really be your true size.

I am also the maid of honor in an upcoming wedding. My bride picked HALTER TOP dresses!!! The thing that motivates me is thinking of how I will feel about the photos which will probably be displayed in people's homes for years to come. And you know, toning up your arms is okay! At the end of the day, you are still going to be building muscle and burning calories! Seamstresses will make the dress flatter your figure, no matter your size... That's their job!
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Old 09-04-2009, 11:21 AM   #4  
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Smile Think of how nice you will look if:

you start now, have it altered and how healthy and vibrant you will feel on the wedding day. Seems to me you have to "want" to lose weight and get healthy for you not for some "event". If you are not ready, then go ahead and stay where you are, it is better than yo yoing and possibly lose the weight, only to gain it back and add some extra pounds with it and screwing up your metabolism. If you are content where you are, I suggest staying there until you want to lose the weight for the RIGHT reasons.
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Old 09-04-2009, 11:35 AM   #5  
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Keep losing the weight. I would feel much better in a dress that feels slightly loose than in one that feels tight. Good luck! And enjoy the moment at the wedding!
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Old 09-04-2009, 11:48 AM   #6  
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This is some great advice! I’m really not happy about where I am, but I think I might have a “safety habit” of looking at myself and thinking “See? It’s not really that bad, now is it?” to make excuses for myself and how far I have let myself go. But it is that bad, maybe not for my vanity, but for my health. I am really out of shape and I need to keep that in mind. I know I will feel better once I get the weight off, and I don’t mind exercising at all. It is difficult for me to eat better, but once I get started it’s not that much of a problem. The more I think about it, the more I realize that I’m just trying to validate myself to myself. So I’ve got to work on that as well as my body… but I will be healthier! And I’ll look nice in a beautiful dress and enjoy the wedding!

And kaybelle, on a side note, A HATLER TOP dress? Oh, I know the feeling. For two weeks, I thought I was going to be stuck in a one shoulder roman goddess type dress that I looked like a giant blueberry in when trying it on. The color of my dress is dark purple (lapis, turns out is the real name) and I was super scared of how I would look in it… but my bride changed her mind and now I’m in a strapless dress that looks SO much better. But I’m sure you’ll be beautiful in the dress, and those who have your picture in their homes will be lucky!

Last edited by jessx22; 09-04-2009 at 11:50 AM.
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Old 09-04-2009, 12:07 PM   #7  
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Don't get hung up on sizes, they vary wildly , and can drive you crazy if you try to figure them out. Be thankful you will wear a dress you actually like and you will look gorgeous no matter what the size says.
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Old 09-04-2009, 12:42 PM   #8  
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I've been known to have the 'hey, that isn't so bad' moments in the mirror in my past that led to me getting complacent and not losing the weight... Several times. It was an excuse. If you want to lose the weight, even if the dress looks fine and you like it don't let it become an excuse for you. What really pushed me over the edge was looking at pictures of myself in the 'hey, that isn't so bad' items...

And, bargoo and the others are right - don't get hung up on sizes. Look at how you feel and how you want to look, then go from there.

And the dress does sound gorgeous, I'm sure you really do look great.
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Old 09-04-2009, 12:58 PM   #9  
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Grilfriend, move forward! Continue to work on loosing wt and toning your body just as you would on any other day of the week. Find a good tailor now, and ask how much notice they need to do alterations (let them know when the wedding is so they can take into account if that is one of their busy seasons). The gal I use is very busy and needs about a two week notice. Try the dress on and take it in if it needs altering.

You'll look even more fabulous than you do now. Things can only get better
!
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Old 09-04-2009, 01:05 PM   #10  
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So one of the other bridesmaids who is smaller than me just called me and told me that she had to get a dress size much bigger than she thought she was, and I said to her "Hey, don't get hung up on dress sizes! It’s just a number! You’ll be gorgeous!" LoL, it is good advice! And I will stop making excuses! I guess I've been making excuses for myself for most of my life and that is something I will need to change, too. There is so much more to dieting than exercise and meal planning! But I said I am committing to a total life change and that's what I will do! Thanks everyone!
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Old 09-04-2009, 01:06 PM   #11  
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It might look good now... but it will look a heck of a lot better if you lost some weight. You know it, I know it, and everyone else knows it too.
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Old 09-05-2009, 09:37 AM   #12  
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I'm sure it looks great on you now but take a picture of yourself in the dress anyway. I always find that I look different in a pic than how I see myself in the mirror.
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Old 09-05-2009, 10:35 AM   #13  
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maryshady...i agree with you, I've put things on and looked at myself in the mirror and think "Wow...I look pretty nice", well when I see the pics I'm like "OMG...what was I thinking?!"
jessx22, my opinion is...while the wedding should motivate you to lose weight, that shouldn't be all that it's about. So yes, the dress may look perfect now, but maybe if you lose a little bit of weight you might think it looks SUPER perfect, not only because maybe you had to alter the dress a bit, but because when we saw the numbers go down at least a little in the scale we feel more confident...and feeling confident makes you LOOK confident. Do this for yourself!!!
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Old 09-05-2009, 10:37 AM   #14  
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For motivation I think it makes sense to focus on health issues. Have you been to a doctor recently? Are your blood pressure and cholesterol normal? If not that can be motivating. Are you happy with your BMI or body fat %?

Have fun at the wedding. I'm sure you will look beautiful!
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Old 09-05-2009, 12:38 PM   #15  
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I managed a bridal salon for 5 years...bridesmaid dresses and bridal gowns usually run up to 2 sizes smaller numericly than ready to wear. they are sized according to european size charts and cut from patterns..not mass produced. Anyway...not trying to be mean here...but wait until you see the wedding photos. You will be motivated again! I was in a friends wedding about 2 years ago...and I was 2o pounds lighter then. she even let us pick our own dresses out. Mine was black...and I thought it looked pretty good.
Ha! was I wrong! The pictures came back and I was HUGE!!!
trust me. once you see yourself next to a few of the "thinner" bridesmaids...you will get back on track.

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