It's funny how many people have been exactly in your shoes...myself included. I got up to 160 freshman year of college, then lost it sophomore year, then gained it back the remaining two. By senior year, I thought I was back up to 160, maaaybe 165, and well, look at my ticker--180!! That's when I mentally slapped myself out of denial and threw out my size 12s and bought the size 14s I should have been wearing. So I got some new clothes that FIT, which made me feel good about myself, which put me in a much better position to take a pro-active stance toward my fitness.
So that's my advice; do something that makes you feel good about yourself, and the process will look a lot easier, because you don't feel like there are x amt of pounds standing between you and happiness.
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