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Old 08-09-2009, 11:57 PM   #1
Running With Scissors
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Default Losing Weight When Your Almost Alone

I'm starting to do another weight lose bought, except there is just one hitch. I'm almost completely by myself all the time. I live with my boyfriend but he travels for work during the week and is only home on the weekend. I work, but have recently moved to a new area and don't have any friends here. I don't really have any friends anyway. I just feel completely alone. I don't have anyone to do anything with. I garden, but that's about all I do. I watch a lot of TV because it keeps my mind off of being alone. I don't know what to do, i feel like i'm doomed to fail because i'll just start to eat or not want to do anything because i'll have to do it by myself. idk, i don't know if this is a rant of an actual question. any suggestions?

You Create Your Own Destiny ~*~ "The question isn't who is going to let me it's who's going to stop me." -Ayn Rand
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Old 08-10-2009, 12:02 AM   #2
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Hang in there ....

Can you join a gym, a fitness class, a swim glass, a walking club, join a weightloss group like Weight Watchers, you'll find like minded people... Some free options, walk in a mall, walk outside, bike...

Just some thoughts that popped in my head...
I l e n e
Falling down is not failure....Failure is staying down.

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Old 08-10-2009, 12:09 AM   #3
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you are not alone. Check around and see what threads appeal to you. THere are some by age, some by how much weight you want to lose.

There are recommendations floating around about not giving up until you've given a fair try. Like habits are supposed to take 30 days to set in. When you start a new job, you need to give it time.
Same with this experience, give it time.

Love yourself the way you would tell someone you love to love themselves. Be gentle with yourself.
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Old 08-10-2009, 12:12 AM   #4
Going around again
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You can find weight loss groups in your area through Meetup.com (or any interest really) - or join WW, or TOPS, or some other group centre.

What about volunteer work in your area? Walking dogs, or cleaning up the environment around you would give you physical activity and introduce you to new people.

But .... doing things by yourself around the city is FUN. I know people are afraid to do things alone, but it's actually very relaxing. No one else to answer to, no compromises, etc.

1:240 2:215 3:195
4:175 (out of obese category)
5: 149 (out of overweight category)
6:125! (goal weight)
Starting BMI: 48.1 Current BMI: 44.9
Restart Date: Sunday February 13 / 2010
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Old 08-10-2009, 12:13 AM   #5
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You may wanna try meetup.com. There might be an excercise/walking club in your area. Just a thought.
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Old 08-10-2009, 12:14 AM   #6
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I'm in a similar situation, right now I'm not working, I can't drive because of health problems, my family moved to Florida, my boyfriend is wonderful but he's working at the times when I would previously have my pig out sessions and I've become alienated from my friends, geez, I made that sound pretty miserable, but it wasn't meant to be. Anyway, I guess that I've been getting through it by making sure I have a variety of healthy foods that I enjoy and by trying to get out of the apartment when I'm starting to think the cats look pretty tasty. Sure, I have to be remind myself more often throughout the day what my goal is and why I'm doing it, but I would have just been using my energy digging through the cupboards anyway.
I know that I'm in a little different boat than you, but the core of is that we are having a rough time staying on track without feeling like we are alone, but I guess I'm just really trying to think about other things.
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Old 08-10-2009, 12:45 AM   #7
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Sounds like maybe you need some purpose to engage you?
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Old 08-10-2009, 01:01 AM   #8
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Well we're all here for you, that's for sure.

I think the idea to join a gym or fitness class is a really good one.. I too don't have many friends and just hang out at home alot. :/ BUT with our weight loss will come new found confidence, and we'll be able to get out & make new friends. So just keep your head up, WE CAN DO THIS!
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Old 08-10-2009, 03:02 AM   #9
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You could use it to your advantage. My husband works shifts, e.g. he is in one week and out the other. When he`s out I`m always more prone to binge, but I also find it easy eating little! :-)
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Old 08-10-2009, 03:59 AM   #10
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I know where you are coming from. I just moved from where all my friends and family are to live with my bf, and he works days and usually i work nights, the only time I get to fully see him is on the weekend, if thats when I dont have to work 9 hours.

what i usually do is call my sister and talk to her when i get lonely when no ones around, or someone else in my family. It might not be the same as having them around, but at least it occupies my mind for a short time.

hope this kinda helps you out.

Working to lose this pregnancy weight

Love Lindsay- My weight loss blog
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Old 08-10-2009, 09:09 AM   #11
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Once every few weeks, I work the opposite shift from my Dh. I'm alone all morning. Work 3-11.

Several times through the week, I only buy what I need to eat. Veggies, fruit, low fat cheese etc. I nibble all morning and take only really good stuff to work.

I've got exercise equipment all around my chair in the TV room. Nobody is in my way if I want to dance in the kitchen.

As soon as my coffee is ready, I come to 3FC and I do again before I go to bed.

While I adore my family and wouldn't change things ... I do sometimes envy folks like you indiegrlx. Aw ... the freedom to only do healthy things!
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Old 08-10-2009, 09:25 AM   #12
Back in Action
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Hello there. Welcome to 3FC.

I really liked what Stella said about using your alone time to your advantage. Although I cook healthy for my family, and keep most junk food out of the house, when you have others around who don't want/need/have to lose weight it is difficult to watch them eat stuff like cookies, ice cream and chips. It is hard not to say, "What the heck, I'll have a double fudge sundae too!"

Humans are social creatures, so I totally understand your need for companionship. I have found that Church, and the charity works that go into organized religion, (Ladies aid, Sunday School, Senior center visitation etc.) have helped to fill a void in my life. Also through Church we have branched off into 4H and other social groups that we probably would not have ventured into. If religion is not your thing, there are tons of hobby groups and causes around.

You really need to do the social thing for yourself. Being an old married lady for 20+ years I have learned a few things about men and one of them is that they don't necessarily like to be the absolute center of your universe. (Unless they are the possessive type.) Meaning they really don't have the energy to fill all the voids in your life while trying to keep themselves a float. My husband loves it when I find positive things to do for myself, instead of depending on him to make me happy 24/7....You know what I mean?
Highest weight - 333 pounds. Lost 193 pounds by calorie counting in 2008/09. Regained 73 pounds in the last 7 years and am working on getting back to a normal BMI.
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Old 08-10-2009, 09:27 AM   #13
live ur life
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i love having my alone time! think of this as time that you can rework your life and become the person that you were meant to be! i mean the contestants on biggest losers leave their families to lose the weight where they won't be influenced by others so maybe you should think of it in that way.

also, try to find what motivates you, what inspires you. for example, try to do some volunteering in your community, do community work, it's both fulfilling and you can make a lot of friends in the process. join weight watchers, or a local gym etc. you will make friends along the way.

weight loss technically is a journey you have to take on your own and it's great to have support from others but you really have to frame things in such a way so that you can be pushing forward whether you are alone or surrounded by people. and if loneliness is your trigger to not stay on plan i would say that this is a good time to really evaluate your emotional eating.
I highly recommend you read some books and I really enjoyed what Jillian Michaels had to say in her free KFI podcasts

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Old 08-10-2009, 09:34 AM   #14
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Welcome and you do have this entire site for support. As previously suggested, look around, see what sites interest you most. I check in on my days off, too much time on my hands it seems....I like the motivation, the support, and reading about other people's experiences, realizing once again, I'm not the only one. hugs
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Old 08-10-2009, 09:50 AM   #15
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i agree with the ladies who suggested going to a fitness class. once a week i go to aqua aerobics and have met some really lovely ladies. over the past 3 weeks we have been meeting for coffee after the class. its really nice to chat to someone i normally wouldnt, and it also benefits my weight loss!
I'm a sahm, so i suppose i'm not alone, but i do miss having adult interaction, so i can kind of understand.

good luck with it!
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