One suggestion I might add to all the great advice is do you currently have something you wear that makes you feel good about yourself? Like a nice shirt and jeans? I'd wear that when you meet his son to give you more confidence
Girl you have lost over 100 lbs- that's amazing! I'm sure they will be very impressed with you!
You need to do this not just because it's the right thing for you, but because it's right for the 12-year old. He is going through life not understanding and probably wondering what's wrong with him that you don't want to meet him.
If your BF's family and son have never given you any reason to think they won't accept you, then it will be OK. Just keep reminding yourself that this is not the past, and this boy has never hurt you.
It's harder the longer you wait. Tell your BF you want to see his son ASAP, and set a date. Keep reminding yourself it'll be OK, because it will be OK.
You can do this, and you HAVE to do it.
(BTW, as I know you already know, they would have accepted you at 330 pounds, too!)
I agree with this. You have to do it and you must stop hiding behind your fear. You have come way too far for that. Many **HUGS** to you!
I am in a relationship where my SO parents hated me!
[snip]
Now they are such wonderful people to me. They are very gracious and kind. I know where my SO got his good qualities from!
What Jen says (and what a wonderful story, Jen!) goes both ways, too. The odds are that your boyfriend's son has many of the qualities that make your boyfriend so dear to you. Think of this as an opportunity to meet another person that you'll probably like very much.
Michelle,
Here's a post on one of the blogs that I read that I thought was appropriate given our conversation here. Hope you enjoy and find a little inspiration:
One suggestion I might add to all the great advice is do you currently have something you wear that makes you feel good about yourself? Like a nice shirt and jeans? I'd wear that when you meet his son to give you more confidence
Girl you have lost over 100 lbs- that's amazing! I'm sure they will be very impressed with you!
Admittedly, I don't own a lot of clothes because my thinking is, I am still losing so I don't want to spend a lot on items to toss out later. I have 2 pair of jeans..both are on the too big side. I have 3 pairs of shorts that are too baggy and I don't wear shorts in front of anyone except my boyfriend . I have several tops but all are too large but one but I don't like the way things bulge when I wear that top .
I'd have to settle for the smallest large jeans and one of my oversized shirts and hope my first impression wasn't a fat slob .
I will see if I am able. I am not trying to be whiny or anything of the sort but I don't work and I don't spend my bfs money unless I need to but maybe he might let me splurge for this occasion.
And to clarify, I have told him numerous times I am willing to go get a job if he is willing to commit to taking me back and forth but he always answers with "No need, everything's okay".
I was working from home before I moved here but the company I work for doesn't hire at home agents in NY
Check out the 2nd hand clothing stores and buy yourself something that fits. I promise you that it will help you feel better about how you look.
Until I started buying new clothing (all recycled) that fit me, I didn't really realize how far I had come.
Plan the meeting, buy the new outfit, take some time to pamper yourself before you go - you will look and feel great!
C'mon - girl - get out there - don't put your life on hold. You DESERVE to have fun and enjoy living each and every day - put that fear aside and DO IT!
wow, you're before and after pics are just amazing. Congratulations. Could be your head hasn't caught up with how you really look now.
I think most women would be nervous about meeting the 12-year-old son of their bf. You come across as a genuine, sweet person here, so I'd bet you will seem that way to him too.
If you're going to be in New York, there's a used clothing store for larger sized women in Brooklyn http://www.redressnyc.com/
(Cobble Hill?) Great stuff for really cheap.
Good luck!
Last edited by dragonwoman64; 07-17-2009 at 05:46 PM.
Everyone else has already said wonderful things. I did want to say that regarding the 12 yr old, (I have a 12 yr old son) I'm fairly certain that he could give a flying flip about your appearance. Now the hot teenage neighbor... Seriously though, I think both he and your bf's parents will just be glad to meet you. I just looked at your pics and firstly, awesome progress, but secondly, and this may be hard for you to grasp but you look "normal", heck you did at 330 but rest assured, you are no circus freak who should be ashamed of meeting anyone. Own that 120 lb weight loss and wow the socks off of his friends and family with your cute new figure and personality.
Wish I lived closer. I bet I have some clothes that would look good on you. I mean, I have jeans in about four sizes! And if not, we'd go find something. Also, as the mom of a 12-year old boy myself, I can second that one about how he doesn't need you to look hot, he needs to feel like he's important to you in a positive, non-judging way. He wants to be able to count on you to cook, clean, wash his dirty clothes, haul him everywhere and then disappear so he can hang with his friends, etc. Sigh. Maybe it's just mine that wants a maid. But most of all, he wants to feel important and special and loved. We all know that's the perfect job for you!
. I have several tops but all are too large but one but I don't like the way things bulge when I wear that top 
.
It's a special day why not? And you deserve it!
