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Old 06-28-2009, 05:14 PM   #1
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Exclamation I need to find the help here that I can't get near by

A little about myself..I never know how to start these things because theres only so much you can say that will get someones attention. Im 24 and has recently blown up past my ‘worse point’ considerably. I am now 358lbs. And I need help! Ive began to look online in hopes to find others like me that can support me in my whole change. I plan to drop 150lbs. In 2005 I had dropped roughly 70 lbs after I finally found a scale that would accept my 315lb of pain. And It saddened me. I was able to get myself on the horse and drop the weight to be around 250. And I was THRILLED. Unfortunatly, besides loosing weight to make me happy.. I had a certin tall, dark and handsome insentive to drop the weight. I got with the guy.. Had after bout a year.. It started getting serious (atleast on my side) and the relationship took a turn for the worse. Because shoving gallons of ice cream down my throat instead of confronting my ex w the problems. That had started my downward spiral. And in the last 2 years, Ive gained SO much weight and im SO embarrased. I have a guy who I can genuinely say he likes me for me. I mean.. he doesnt run screaming from the room when we get into it. And hes stuck with me for the last 3 yrs as I blew up. But I want to lose weight to be more appealing to him as well. In my mind I see us as ‘the G.I. and the fat girl’ and it sucks. I know Im an emotional eater. And a boredom eater. When I move out and get myself AWAY from temptation. (6 types of soda and nothing but fastfood.) I mean.. I can be a reasonable eater. Ive tried starting a walking group… no takers yet. Also researched overeaters anonymous meetings. I need help and support to be the sexy/confident woman I once was. So if theres anyone who can give me hints.. mabey some advice that worked for them… IM ALL EARS.
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Old 06-28-2009, 05:26 PM   #2
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Hi and welcome! We're here. I'm so sorry that you're currently struggling. It's glad that you have someone who cares about you for who you are. About the walking groups, etc. maybe you should just do it by yourself for a little while? Also, you could check out the Chicks in Control section of the forum for the bingeing.

I've been loosing weight for a year now, and I've not being going super fast, but I'm moving in the right direction. I'm a calorie counter (it allows me to have a little bit of junk, without having any food banned). I also do several hours of exercise a week, currently inside the house, exercise videos and stationary bike, because I feel like it's too hot outside. I love 3fc for the accountability it provides (my DH is not interested in exercise or eating healthy). I've joined a challenge and I have to answer to those ladies every week. It keeps me from feeling like I go it alone.
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Old 06-28-2009, 08:37 PM   #3
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Hi and Welcome,

You are not alone. There are many of us here that fighting the same fight or on the same journey. I suggest that you join us in the 100 pound club and maybe join the 20-Somethings forum.

For inspiration, I love to look at the pictures in the mini goals and goal section. It helps me realize that I can do this. YOU CAN TOO. I look forward to seeing your posts.
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Old 06-28-2009, 09:17 PM   #4
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Hi there. I just researched the oa meetings in my area. I am going tomorrow. I figure I need to do something and a psychologist isnt in my budget. I have a boyfriend who is very thin and can eat anything. lately i have been feeling disgusting. It has gotten so bad that I dont even want to look in the mirror. Im tired all the time. I hate it. So i have decided that I cant take it anymore. I ave all thin friends and family who dont understand. So i turn to this site for the wonderful ladies that give me inspiration
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Old 06-28-2009, 11:54 PM   #5
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You CAN do this! Really!

And 3FC is a GREAT resource on your journey. We are glad you are here
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Old 06-29-2009, 09:18 AM   #6
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I would suggest you start walking on your own. You don't need a walking group. IMHO, I find them counterproductive - there are two groups of ladies that I see in my neighbourhood (with 3 ladies each) and when they "walk", they walk slowly because they gab all the time. It's more of a stroll than a walk. There is only one lady that seems to be somewhat dedicated and I sometimes see her walking on her own. When she is alone, she walks faster and probably is getting some exercise.
I am a really fast walker and I find that having somebody else with me would slow me down. Again, JMHO.
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Old 06-29-2009, 09:53 AM   #7
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Hi, Valoki.

I'll let the other ladies chime in with the practical advice on getting started. Some of them also have been successful at losing over 100#.

I just wanted to say that, in my experience, trying to lose weight or get in shape *for another person* can often set a person up to fail. I think you should focus on getting healthy *for you* first. It's not just "looking good." You should want to be healthy for you. And also so that you *can* be around and healthy for many, many years for whatever significant other you may (or may not) have.


I wish you the best of luck in your journey.
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Old 06-29-2009, 10:03 AM   #8
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Hello, welcome to 3FC. Congratulations on your first 4 pounds! That is a great start.

I have to agree with Tomato on the walking group thing. If you live in a "safe" area or have a safe area to walk alone, I would also suggest that. Not only are these group walks more of a gab session, I can't help but think of a few threads here at 3FC were a walking buddy became more of a detriment than an asset. (Like the friend who kept wanting to stop and eat at various Fast Food places at the mall during a walk...)

Do this for you okay? Not to get even with EX or to keep present on the line...do it for your health, your skin, your heart, your lungs, your temple. People will come and go in your life, but you are stuck with YOU. Only one person counts here, (unless you have children, and they should be your priority) and that still means getting healthy for you so that YOU can be an active parent while teaching them by example. I can honestly say that it is possible to lose a lot of weight, in a healthy matter, without paying anyone, without drugs, gym, or expensive programs. Unless you have some funky metabolic disorder, losing weight is free and actually kind of easy once you make a total commitment to YOURSELF. Good luck!

Last edited by Lori Bell : 06-29-2009 at 01:37 PM.
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Old 06-29-2009, 11:59 AM   #9
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I'm impressed about that 70 lb weight loss, you obviously have some knowledge/skills on how to get it done. You also sound like you know a couple of your problem areas (the fast food/soda; emotional eating).

is bf able to help out in the process? emotional support? and maybe letting some other people in your life know you're working on it too, sometimes that helps, sometimes not. weight loss can be a loaded topic for some.

lots of great advice, info, support here too. even just sharing the experience can be helpful for me.

good luck.
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Old 06-29-2009, 12:20 PM   #10
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You have found a great supportive place and great people with which to hang out! We're glad to have you here!

It does sound like you know the nuts and bolts about losing weight, so what you have to really work on is the emotional game surrounding committing to the effort in order to succeed in the long haul as well as managing the emotions to keep yourself healthy and balanced in the future. I have two resources that have helped me a lot in the past. I suggest you read Body Fat Solution by Tom Venuto. He's a body builder, which might seem a little intimidating, but he's absolutely not. He just knows about getting a body into good physical condition, how to shred fat successfully, and how to maintain physical strength and emotional motivation.

The second thing I very highly recommend does cost money, but I found it to be incredibly helpful is doing a Solution Method kit (which is a method of managing emotions and finding balance, and they teach the method via telephone group sessions). You can learn more about it by reading Laurel Mellin's book The Pathway, which you can probably find at the library. For me, it was the single most important thing I learned to do, to balance my emotions and not be a slave to overeating.

Looking forward to getting to know you better!

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Old 06-29-2009, 07:09 PM   #11
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This is the place to be! Come online daily and just soak up the wonderul support and stories that are available! You can do this! And I agree that you need to do it for you! I have gotten so many wonderful ideas from everyone here. We celebrate victories and are there when times are rough. I think walking alone is good too! I just put on my i-pod and bop along! Good luck and WELCOME!
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Old 06-29-2009, 08:10 PM   #12
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I can't really offer you any advice, as I'm in the same boat as you, but if you even need someone to talk to thru here or email, just PM me.
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Old 06-30-2009, 10:49 AM   #13
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Hello Valoki! Great start and good choice to come to 3FC. Walking is a wonderful idea! How positive! Make sure you get some good shoes. You've inspired me to go for a walk this morning! Is there a pool in your area with aquasize or lane swimming? Are there hills in your area? That can be a great calorie burner. Best of luck!!
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Old 06-30-2009, 12:13 PM   #14
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Gosh, what happened? You seemed so motivated, and I go to check up on you and you have never even logged in since you wrote your couple of duplicate intros. It always makes me feel sad for the lovely people who take the time to make a newbie feel welcome, and the OP don't even bother to log on to read the responses. Guess you weren't really ready yet.
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