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Old 06-25-2009, 07:34 PM   #1
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Default Embarrassed about weight loss comments

Since Father's Day I've started getting comments about my weight loss, even from people I haven't said a word about it to. On Father's Day my aunt asked me (in front of like 4 other family members, including my parents!), "You look like you've lost weight," and I blushed red and even though I KNOW I've lost over 25 pounds, I simply stammered out, "I don't think so," to which she said, "Really? You look thinner. Especially your face looks a LOT thinner" and I tried to change the subject as quickly as possible and pretend I had no idea what she was talking about. She embarrassed me in front of the rest of my family, and I didn't like it.
A few days ago my dad asked me if I'd lost weight (in front of my mom) and once again, I said, "I wouldn't know" (I haven't discussed my weight loss with my parents, only with a few friends).
But then today one of my best friends asked me when no one else was around if I'd lost weight, and I smiled sheepishly and said "Yes, a little bit" and she was like, "Well you can really tell," and I said thank you, and it was fine, not embarrassed at all.
So what I've learned? When people ask me if I've lost weight and anyone else is there, I get flustered and can't answer. If they ask me one-on-one, I'm fine. Ugh, what am I going to do?! I can't stop people from commenting!!!!!!!!!! But it really GENUINELY embarrasses me to have it brought up in anywhere public. I want to be healthy, but I HATE having attention drawn to myself, just hate it. I wish people would only ask me in private.
Anyone else hear me on this one? I know it's unavoidable and I won't give up my journey to make the comments go away, but I was just wondering if anyone else felt like I did about this. To me, talking about weight loss is just... private, and to have it brought up in public really flusters me, I guess.
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Old 06-25-2009, 07:40 PM   #2
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I can't wait for people to start noticing. I won't care who is around! But, that's me.
on your weight loss so far! Good Job!
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Old 06-25-2009, 07:45 PM   #3
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I love it when people notice too. It gives me motivation to keep going.
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Old 06-25-2009, 07:54 PM   #4
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It totally depends. My boyfriend my and grandmother have both commented that I look "trimmer" and I think I enjoyed it both times (i had to think about the fact that my boyfriend commented on my weight for a bit, but I decided it was good.)
But just random people talking about my weight is not so welcome.
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Old 06-25-2009, 07:56 PM   #5
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I completely understand! While I truly am flattered that people notice my hard work and it is a bit of a self esteem boost I still want to crawl under a rock when a spectacle is made. A lady I work with is just as nice and can be and I like her but yelled "hey guys, look how skinny Amy is getting!" to 4 or 5 coworkers. I could have clubbed her over the head. On the other hand my dh just wasn't saying jack about it until the last week or so and that hurt my feelings that he hadn't said anything.

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Old 06-25-2009, 08:15 PM   #6
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So far, the only person who's commented is my dogs' kennelmaid, so I'm being spared embarrassment this time - but I do recognize the feeling!
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Old 06-25-2009, 08:23 PM   #7
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I love/hate it!!! I don't tell anyone then they notice, then I feel every time I go into work or church people are really scrutinizing me and commenting..... I know they mean well and want to encourage, you know checking out my backside, my face, my upper arms. After I had my last son I had gained 80 lbs with him and carried it around for a few years, before I lost weight with him, then I get to be around 150 and people are commenting on don't you think its time you stopped dieting etc, and wow you look anorexic...and when is a 5'2-3 anorexic at 150???.And everyone is an expert about dieting, diet tips, exercise, yeah I want to scream!!!So now We have moved across country and no one knows I am loosing weight. I tend to sabotage my effeorts when the comments start to roll in. I haven't met any people to know me before and after yet???
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Old 06-25-2009, 08:43 PM   #8
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I am losing weight to get healthier but also to feel more attractive, so it doesn't bother me at all for people to comment. I'm flattered! If they had commented while I was gaining weight, now, that would have embarrassed me! I have no reason at all to be embarrassed now that I'm finally trying to take care of myself!
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Old 06-25-2009, 10:01 PM   #9
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ohhh i know how you feel!!!

I just can't work out why i get embaressed? i just dont know what to say when people mention it anymore!

It could be that im embaressed that they noticed how big i USED to be?
I do love the comments at the same time...but sometimes the way people say them just makes me go red!
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Old 06-25-2009, 10:32 PM   #10
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I too have a love/hate relationship with compliments. I love them from some people, hate them yelled across a room...I do have a few "close" friends who have actually NEVER mentioned it. It's like they have never noticed that over 1/2 of me is gone...weird.

It took me about 50 pounds lost before anyone besides my husband noticed, and the first few compliments felt REALLY great. After awhile, and I actually bypassed fat and entered the "chubby" stage, the compliments with insults attached began to surface their ugly little heads from the "fat" crowd. It was then that I realize I was at my usual breaking point. I had 2 choices, I could quit and try to maintain "chubby" or it was time to thicken my skin. You can imagine after losing over 170 pounds, on my own, with no "programs", no "surgery", and no "magic pills" the gossip mill was going NUTS. No one could/can believe this was done all by sheer determination (and actually a little stubbornness). Since I'm losing weight very slowly now, a lot of the comments have died down. Hopefully someday people will kind of forget I was ever morbidly obese.

Last edited by Lori Bell : 06-25-2009 at 10:35 PM.
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Old 06-25-2009, 10:36 PM   #11
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Lori Bell--you're such an inspiration. And of course, that breeds jealousy. But it's incredible, all that you've accomplished. I can't believe you have friends that have never commented on your tremendous loss. I thought that was going to be the case with my boyfriend, but this time around he's already started making comments.
Thanks for being around to inspire us all.
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A for every 5lbs gone FOREVER!!!

Goal One: 245- goal of my first challenge on 3FC. Goal Two: 225 Goal Three- 199 Onederland. Goal Four: 179- previous low weight. GOAL: 152 (NORMAL BMI)

And all the spilt milk, sex and weight
It all will fall, fall right into place

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Old 06-25-2009, 10:37 PM   #12
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Ugh! I totally dread this. I think the way I'm going to handle this is if someone asks me I'll say " a bit" and if people compliment I'll say thanks. Then I will steer the conversation away as quickly as I can!!! If they persist I'll probably just grin and bear it.
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Old 06-25-2009, 10:42 PM   #13
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I also HATE being the center of attention in a group of people, especially people I don't know very well. I blush really bright red and usually say something stupid. I found a therapist a few months ago who specializes in encouraging personal growth (not treating serious disorders), and we've been talking about my embarrassment (when we're not talking about my screwed-up family ). She has me practice being aware of feeling anxious in this sort of situation, accepting that it's ok to feel anxious, and then letting it go. She wants me to focus more on what the other people in the room are thinking, and less on how stressed I feel and what I should say/do. I have to say, it's really helped me relax and enjoy this sort of thing a lot more.

Anyhow, big congrats on your progress so far! We have similar stats, so I have an idea of how good you must be feeling!
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Old 06-25-2009, 10:45 PM   #14
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Hehe I asked my bf why he hadn't said anything about my weight loss and his response was "I didn't want to jinx it"...LOL that boy has no filter...
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Old 06-25-2009, 10:46 PM   #15
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forestroad-OMG! hahaha. I don't think I would have spoken to bf for a solid day.
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A for every 5lbs gone FOREVER!!!

Goal One: 245- goal of my first challenge on 3FC. Goal Two: 225 Goal Three- 199 Onederland. Goal Four: 179- previous low weight. GOAL: 152 (NORMAL BMI)

And all the spilt milk, sex and weight
It all will fall, fall right into place

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