Well, title says it all... for the last few weeks (maybe months) I've been going through the motions of being "on plan", tracking my calories on The Daily Plate, wearing my GWF armband every day, adding the numbers together and checking my calorie deficit for the day. But I haven't really been on plan. I've been eating a lot more "casually", telling myself it's okay to go out to eat and order the higher-calorie food, okay to have a lot of salt and not drink enough water, and most of all NOT EXERCISING. Mostly it's because I started back at work 3 weeks ago after several months off (freelancer), and I hate it, and I don't want to have to fit in exercise when I'm already doing something I don't want to do for 8 hours a day, waah wah wah. I can see that I'm only "breaking even" most days, not actually getting much of a calorie deficit, a lot of days recently I've eaten 1,900 calories...
So I've kind of told myself I'm on a "break" from dieting until work is over again, another 3 weeks from now. I'm not gaining weight, I'd know from the tracking if I was really out of control, but I'm not losing either, and I still have goals I want to reach... I need to be 170-ish by the end of August if I'm going to fit in the wetsuit I've rented for my first Triathlon then, not to mention fit enough to do the actual Triathlon!! And then I've got my 10-year high school reunion in October, and I'd really like to be a healthy weight by then. So I know that taking a "break" isn't going to help me at all in the long run, but I just feel so mopey about work, and bored by how rigid I have to be about food and exercise (and salt and water) to see any change on the scale.... I don't know, I just kind of shrug it off and say, sure, I can have a piece of lemon cake before dinner.
Also I haven't been to a WW meeting in two weeks, because I know I haven't been losing, and I hate seeing a bad number when I go. Sigh. I should really just suck it up and go, shouldn't I.