I wonder if you couldn't set a schedule to visit your hometown, spend some time there and with your parents, maybe a couple of weeks every few months, or every other month.
Thanks, dragonwoman. I was thinking that, too. The costs for me to get out there are over $500 (!), because I have to travel to a major center in order to get a cheap flight! There is only one airline that flies out of here, to only one major center, and the premium to do this is $300 return. OR I can catch the train to another major center for $150-ish return (depending on the fare available at the time). The return flight from either major center is between $350 and $500, depending on the seat sales at the time...sigh...
But it IS one option I've been thinking about, but we have to be able to find the $$$ to do this...
I wish my DH was paid like the airlines charge for seats -- you know, if you need that report for TOMORROW, it'll cost the company $900, but if you want it for next MONTH, it'll cost you $450. Plus internet surcharges, electricity tax, and a desk user fee. But you better book me NOW, as I have only 2 timeslots available for that price. And if you want a FIRST-CLASS report, it'll cost you $2200....
Kira
lol! no kidding! I love Colorado, truly, I love the mountains and all of the outdoorsy stuff we can do here...but man, I miss the midwest.
LOL, we're all different, that's for sure. I'm from the west, but lived for some years in Ohio. The lack of mountains on my daily horizon just did something to me inside. Somehow all the flatness and no mountains just dragged down my spirit. It was like Seasonal Affective Disorder - only it was Geographical Affective Disorder
I know the feeling about missing my hometown. Strangely, it's not the town I grew up in. I live three hours from that town, and only visit once or twice a year (to see my mom) and am glad when I leave. I never felt at home there.
The town I always liked the best was Denver. We moved there a month after we were married, but the DH hated it. The altitude gave him severe headaches and he couldn't tolerate it, so we moved back to North Dakota. I hate it here with a passion, and every week or so I hint that we should move away. He won't, though.
If we ever get divorced, I'm moving out of here the day after the papers are signed.
I understand how you feel. I am in the same situation only my whole family and all my friends are in a whole other country! I always get a little emotional when I go back and then when I come back to Canada I feel like I don't belong. But it passes over time.
I understand what you are going through. My husband's career is very specific, and jobs in the area we lived in are pretty much impossible to find. So, we moved. I know what it's like to feel like you are sacrificing everything for your husband's well-being. It's hard... I am constantly torn between my love for my husband, and wanting to support his dreams... and the dreams of my own. I want to throw parties and have my family and friends over... but no one is going to come to see us. I don't even have any friends in the area. My parents don't ever come to visit me because it's just too far away and too much of a struggle for them. As sad as it is, and as ashamed as I am to admit it, I have had feelings of regret regarding my marriage from time to time... and it sucks, because he is a fantastic man, and I love him to death, and I feel like I am just being selfish when I think those thoughts.
It's hard... but from other posts here, it seems as though we are not the only ones who are going through this. At least we can all support each other here... it's makes the burden at least a little easier to bear I suppose.
Ugh, I know how you feel and it is so awful..my BF refuses to compromise with me and it is the source of many arguments..
I have to say, to those who were putting you down for feeling this way..that is SO unfair and outdated to assume the wife has to make the hubby happy..even if someone has the sweetest hubby in the world, the woman's happiness is equally important, and no, just because youre with your spouse, it does NOT always feel like home. I myself am going through a similar situation, and in all honesty, if there is no compromise in the near future, as much as I love my bf, I might have to leave..its not fair that he refuses to even hear me out, and he gets to see his parents and family every single day. My father is dying and my mommy is 9 hours away, so NO its not always about making the man happy, Im sorry..I have this ONE life and I refuse to live it in a place where Im unhappy..
tlp- so sorry about your dad. We are here for you. And I agree, it is not always about just pleasing the hubby... but the way I see it, my husband has known what he has wanted to do since he was 4 years old. I wasn't going to get in the way of that dream- so I willingly made the sacrifice.
Each situation is different, however, so you need to make sure that you do what you need to do, and if that means leaving your bf... well, we all have to make tough choices, right? If you need to be with your dad, then I think you should.
LOL, we're all different, that's for sure. I'm from the west, but lived for some years in Ohio. The lack of mountains on my daily horizon just did something to me inside. Somehow all the flatness and no mountains just dragged down my spirit. It was like Seasonal Affective Disorder - only it was Geographical Affective Disorder
That's how I feel when I go someplace flat! I live in the foothills of the Cascade mountains, and no matter where I'm at in this area, you can see the craggy, snow-capped mountains. So when I go someplace flat, I always wonder--how do people know where they *are*?
LOL, we're all different, that's for sure. I'm from the west, but lived for some years in Ohio. The lack of mountains on my daily horizon just did something to me inside. Somehow all the flatness and no mountains just dragged down my spirit. It was like Seasonal Affective Disorder - only it was Geographical Affective Disorder
So true! I am originally from New Zealand so use to hills and mountains everywhere. Having lived in a flat area for the last 9 years with no hills let alone mountains sucked the life out of me LOL. I didn't realise how much I missed the mountains until we recently moved into a mountainous area and it was like I was living again. Interestingly when living in the flatness I could care less about being outside or not when I had always loved being outdoors and consequently gained all my weight there and since moving back to the mountains I am rarely indoors and have lost 70+ pounds in the 9 months since we have moved.
sounds like you need some home time -- you won't regret it, since you only have one dad and mom...
