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Is Revenge a motivator for you?

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Old 05-05-2009, 11:12 PM   #1
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Default Is Revenge a motivator for you?

Hi all!
OK, so I went to visit a friend of mine a few weeks ago (see my previous threads about this trip from ****). We hadn't seen each other for about 5 years. Since I've seen her, she's gained around 40 lbs. I've lost 40 lbs (she last saw me at 221 lbs). It was like we "flipped bodies". She kept saying how GREAT I looked, and she wasn't really saying it a nice way. It was more in a jealous way, because I've always been the heavy one in the relationship and now things are different.
Anyways, to make a long story short, it was a horrible trip. Before I left to visit her, she expressed to me about all the things we would do and how much fun we'd have, but when I GOT there, she turned really passive-aggressive. In all areas. And although she KNEW I was watching my diet, she and her DH decided to eat out twice a day at places with NO healthy options (Five Guys, anyone???) and would CHANGE the restaurant AFTER I'd look up the menus and make a healthy choice. It was like she was sabotaging me. Needless to say, it wasn't any fun. And I gained 3.5 lbs which thankfully I have since lost as I got RIGHT back on track when I got home.
But her actions got me MAD and MORE MOTIVATED than ever. I probably won't see her for another 5 years (she's only 1.5 hours away by air but has told me that she wouldn't "waste her money" coming up to see me but I could fly down to see HER again...), but when I DO see her, I WANT TO BE AT GOAL WEIGHT.
I really, REALLY want this. More than pretty much anything ELSE right now. I mean, I believe in the healthy lifestyle and am committed to it, but when I run out of mental steam, I JUST think to this and I AM MOTIVATED again.

Anyone else experience this? With respect to whom? And does this make me a bad, shallow, vindictive person ?

Kira

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Old 05-05-2009, 11:42 PM   #2
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Oh ya, when me and my ex of 2 years first broke up in August 2007 to be with another girl, I made it my PACT to become this skinny hot thing for when he sees me again. I started losing weight right away, but I started to get REALLY serious at the beginning of this year.

He moved to Calgary and is now engaged to that girl, but I don't think he'll be seeing me anytime soon (haven't seen him since we broke up).

But if one day, we cross paths, I still wanna be little Miss Hot Thang to rub it in his face!
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Old 05-05-2009, 11:44 PM   #3
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Yes, I've experienced it. Am experiencing it right now, in many ways. And no, it doesn't make you a bad, shallow, vindictive person. It makes you human.
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Old 05-05-2009, 11:49 PM   #4
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After reading that, she's not your friend and I'm not sure why you would ever want to see her again.
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Old 05-05-2009, 11:54 PM   #5
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All I have to say is Amen! I am doing this for myself the most, but I have several people that I want to stick it to. I have a friend who basically said she hangs out with me because I'm not competition for her and she is pissed if anything good happens to me... I'mnot sure how long we'll be friends. Oh and the ex's, I can't wait for the day they see me thinner. Whenever I get down or need motivation, I think about what it would be like for one of them to see me and it gets me going again.

So if this makes you a shallow person, then we are there together! LOL

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Old 05-05-2009, 11:56 PM   #6
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I agree with DCHound, this woman doesn't sound like a very good friend! I don't think I'd wanna see her. She does, however, provide great motivation
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Old 05-06-2009, 12:16 AM   #7
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Are you asking me if part of the reason I'm buckling down is to look like a million bucks at my class reunion this summer and make all the guys who didn't give me the time of day in high school a little bit sorry? Nooooooooooo!
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Old 05-06-2009, 12:20 AM   #8
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ha, similar story here. Yeah, I want to look good in case I ever run into my ex again and so he can see what he missed out on. And also show off to anyone else who wasn't the nicest to me because I wasn't the "skinny" one.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SweetScrumptious View Post
Oh ya, when me and my ex of 2 years first broke up in August 2007 to be with another girl, I made it my PACT to become this skinny hot thing for when he sees me again. I started losing weight right away, but I started to get REALLY serious at the beginning of this year.

He moved to Calgary and is now engaged to that girl, but I don't think he'll be seeing me anytime soon (haven't seen him since we broke up).

But if one day, we cross paths, I still wanna be little Miss Hot Thang to rub it in his face!
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Old 05-06-2009, 01:00 AM   #9
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I try to use the "I WILL show you" 'tude to have a positive effect on my losses. Dont anyone dare tell me I cant do it! Actually its good when someone doubts me and says I cant. Its fuel to "Get 'er done!"
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Old 05-06-2009, 07:09 AM   #10
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I'll mirror the words of others and say, that your "friend" doesn't sound like much of a friend at all. However, I definitely understand, especially after this trip, how hitting your goal and showing off your hard work would be quite satisfying.
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Old 05-06-2009, 08:24 AM   #11
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Yes, revenge is a great motivator for me.

My mother: the one that used to tell me all the time that I can't lose weight after getting 18 yrs old, just to show her she was wrong.
My father: the one that always teased me and also caused me the full range of eating disorders, that he failed everything about it.
My ex: that I'll be a slim ***** and sorry I'm not for him any any anymore!! :P
My ex-ex: that he missed a very good catch leaving me!
My ex-dietologist: that my diet worked much better than her and her fake assistance!! (I've already demonstrated this though)
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Old 05-06-2009, 08:34 AM   #12
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Gosh! Really felt for you when I read that!

My advice? Stick with the diet, sounds like you're doing brilliantly. However, ditch the friend. She sounds like a skanky little *****!!!!

xx
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Old 05-06-2009, 09:02 AM   #13
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As the saying goes: "Living well is the best revenge."
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Old 05-06-2009, 09:11 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RachelOnADiet View Post
I agree with DCHound, this woman doesn't sound like a very good friend! I don't think I'd wanna see her. She does, however, provide great motivation
couldn't have said it better!

That kind of motivation is good for the short term, but at the end of the day, that girl isn't your friend and thank God you don't have to see her again! Who needs frenemies like that?! Good riddance!!
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Old 05-06-2009, 09:44 AM   #15
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Yup, I agree with the other ladies...this "friend" sucks! But I TOTALLY understand your motivation... like another poster, my 10-year high school reunion is next year and no way I'm showing up fatter than I was in high school (which was still fat, but not as fat as I am now!)
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