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Has your child ever been teased because YOU are fat?

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Old 05-04-2009, 10:56 PM   #1
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Default Has your child ever been teased because YOU are fat?

Today I learned that children that call themselves my daughters friends tease her because of me. I am so embarassed. Has this ever happened to anyone? And what do you do? I know my weight makes my daughter a little uncomfortable but she loves me and doesnt say anything for fear that it will hurt my feelings. I am trying to lose but dont stay motivated long. But I think after this I will be. She is 8 and at the stage where other childrens impression of you is important to them (even though I talk to her about children who dont except her the way she is) and she is so shy and any hurtful word effects her. Please help
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Old 05-04-2009, 11:28 PM   #2
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I can only imagine how you feel. That is one of my biggest fears, which is why I have decided to get serious about losing weight. My son will be starting school next year and it horrifies my to think that he can be teased because of me. I think it's great that you talk to your daughter and that she's very aware of not hurting your feelings. However, in trying to protect you she may be harboring other feelings(subconciously). Feelings of recentment, anger, frustration etc. etc. Be sure to tell her that it's ok to express what she feels and to talk about it. I'm also trying to be extra cautious and watch my son's diet . Eventhough my husband is a very tall man and it looks like our son will be too, I fear that he may pick up my bad eating habits and be overweight. That's another issue. For now I would just recommend that you find a diet or a program that will jump start your losing weight. Once you see that you can do it, you will get more motivated and stay on track. I started a super strict cookie diet (Smart for Life) and it has jump started me so much that I'm determined to stick to this diet or any other diet, as long as it takes to reach my goal. I've already lost 5 lbs and feel great. The important thing is that you've already taken the first step and acknowledged the problem. Take the next step with action. I wish you the best.
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Old 05-05-2009, 12:49 AM   #3
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I wanted to post because when I was in fifth grade a boy called my mom fat. I said "At least I have a mom, Motherf***er!" Not the way your daughter should handle it of course, But I was devestated. Not that my mother was overweight, but that someone would say something like that to a child. Kids can be harsh, but being overweight has become so common I really didn't think that it even was commented on anymore.

Don't be too hard on yourself, one must find inspiration somewhere.

One of my biggest motivators is that I don't want my son to be made fun of because of his mom and I really do not want him to be "The Fat Kid" He is only one so I've got time to instill good habits in my family.
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Old 05-05-2009, 12:53 AM   #4
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Thank you soooo much for the reply raquel7. You are right, I never thought that this could affect her subcontiously and that she may harbor feelings of guilt. I really want to change especially for her. I would never want her to go through what I have been through. Losing weight is so hard for me though. I have never been successful at losing weight. I lose a few pounds here and there but nothing to really see a difference. I really want to succeed at weightloss. Thank you for youre support.
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Old 05-05-2009, 04:15 AM   #5
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Yes. A girl who doesn't like my eldest daughter teased her because of my weight though no one else ever has. My daughter was very very angry with the girl for being so mean. My middle daughter who's only seven has had comments about my weight from other children in her class. I'm not the only overweight mum though so she's not the only one. My middle daughter didn't cope with it so well as she is shy My eldest will start high school in just over a year so I'm hoping I've lost most the weight i need to by then, or that I at least look much more "normal".
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Old 05-05-2009, 05:45 AM   #6
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My nine yr. old son has never mentioned it but he has talked to me about my weight many times, which the first time was quite embarrassing for me. I make sure when the bus pulls up in the evenings, that I am inside and out of sight as I know how cruel kids can be. Funny thing about my son though, as he is the most supportive child, if I ask him to get me a cup of ice or something, he will put that hand on his hip and say, Now, Mama are your legs broke? I kinda chuckle and get my big butt up and get it myself. He is my own personal cheerleader and really does keep me on track.

I want to make him proud in every sense of the word, because his character astonishes me daily.

It is embarrassing but we have all made the decision to move forward and do something about our weight and I don't know about you guys, but for me, it gives me so much confidence knowing I wont be an embarrassment to my children too much longer.
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Old 05-05-2009, 06:08 AM   #7
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My DD told me earlier in the year that a boy in her class had said to her I was a 'big fat tub of lard'. The fact that I'd lost 100lb and was about 100lb less than his mum makes be believe that kids will say anything when they are just out to upset. BTW, the kid in question is chunky himself.

I wouldn't therefore take too much notice of the comments, the girl is just being mean to your DD. If you want to lose weight however, do it cause YOU want to.

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Old 05-05-2009, 07:35 AM   #8
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When my son was 8-9 a neighborhood kid teased him that his mom, (me) was fat. My sensitive son flipped out and almost punched him but another neighborhood mom was able to stop him. The funny part is that later in the summer we saw this kid with his mom at the pool and she was at least 2x my size, even at my weight at the time!
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Old 05-05-2009, 07:46 AM   #9
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Last week i was sitting on the couch with my 6 year old, and he started rubbing my tummy, i asked him what hes doing and he said" im rubbing the back of the baby thats in your belly" I said theres no belly in there..and he said then why are you fat. I was shocked..and didnt know what to say. The funny thing is, that now im losing weight he has commented about my weight, but before he didnt care. My other 3 children though, are very supportive, and tell me i look skinner everyday.

have a great day everyone
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Old 05-05-2009, 07:54 AM   #10
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Remember being a kid and how rough it can be? Even at age 8, you're put into an environment that can be pretty hostile. Yeah the playground.

Kids will pick on anything they know will get a reaction from another kid. It doesn't matter if it is about them or their parents. "Oh your mom stinks!" or "your mom is a big fatty!" They are just trying to get a rise out of your kid and they probably don't even fully get what they are saying or doing. It is just how kids are.

Any type of weight, looks, god forbid if you have glasses (being fat and having glasses is like the holy grail of teasing for kids)....I mean it is kids being kids. Trying to raz each other. Unfortunately there are a lot of mean ones out there. My nephew gets bullied, he is around 7. He is very smart, actually polite, a good kid. He gets really hurt when kids bully him and his mom gets really upset, especially when they tease him about her. She is super thin, petite, and they still pick on him about his mum! They find anything...
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Old 05-05-2009, 08:04 AM   #11
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Yes, my son gets teased and he is 14. But he's 5'10 and 175, so they don't really mess with him like that anymore. Anyway, he tells them, my mom can kick your mom's butt!
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Old 05-05-2009, 08:18 AM   #12
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My kids never mentioned a thing to me. But I know it had to be hard having a Mom my size. It's hard enough being a kid, without having a Mom so openly different.

Their life was directly affected by my morbid obesity. Never mind the teasing, but I was simply incapable of so many things. All that physical activity, vacations, day to day things - things I just couldn't participate in.

Though they never said anything to me, now that I've lost the weight, they don't stop telling me how proud they are of me. They love "showing me off." They love how I dress. Heck we even share clothing now. They love how active and productive I am instead of just lazing around on the couch.

Kids can be cruel. And I'm so sorry that you're experiencing this. It drives me crazy just how cruel children can be.

Yes, your children and the quality of your life that you are missing out on are all reasons to change and can be great motivation for you. Now it's time to use that motivation to make a commitment to do what's necessary to ensure the highest quality of life for your family. And you are indeed a very special part of that family.
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Old 05-05-2009, 09:10 AM   #13
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Kids can indeed be cruel, and apparently, it doesn't change much as they get older. My daughter is in college and has mentioned that when some guys were talking about this very cute friend of hers, one guy said to the other, "Yeah, but she's going to be fat. Just look at her mom." I thought, oh my, I don't want anyone ever saying that about my daughter behind her back. She's a very small, athletic 5'4" and my college-aged son is a 6'7" string bean, lol! I just want her friends to know, "This isn't me! I'm the thin one inside!" It really did make me think about how kids can be judged based on the weight of their parents, at any age.
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= 10 lbs lost; = 5 lbs lost:
MINI GOALS:
1. 196 lbs = "Overweight" BMI of 29.8
2. 168 lbs = Lowest Weight of Last Diet Attempt, BMI of 25.5
3. 164 lbs = "Normal Weight" BMI of 24.9
4. 145 lbs = Goal Weight BMI of 22.0
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Old 05-05-2009, 09:14 AM   #14
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I thank everyone for thier stories and words of encouragement. It is amazing to here that children tease kids with moms that arent really overweight. That lets me know that they are just trying to find my DD sensitive spot and that is her MAMA. But the reality is that I am overweight and its not healthy. Im going to do this fo myself as well as my daughter. Thank you all for the support. I was really down yesterday after this incident but now I am motivated.
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Old 05-05-2009, 09:32 AM   #15
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E.mccoy, I don't know if you are involved in any challenges, but you are certainly welcome to come join the May Weight Loss Challenge and/or the May Exercise Challenge. We are all very supportive of each other's weight loss efforts (as one new member said, we're "chatty chicks," lol!) and it's extremely motivational and inspirational! The challenges are on this page if you are interested: http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/chicks-up-challenge-159/. You might want to come check it out!
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Current Attempt (Slow Carb Diet, restarted May 3, 2015) <> Previous Attempt (Slow Carb Diet, 2013-14)

= 10 lbs lost; = 5 lbs lost:
MINI GOALS:
1. 196 lbs = "Overweight" BMI of 29.8
2. 168 lbs = Lowest Weight of Last Diet Attempt, BMI of 25.5
3. 164 lbs = "Normal Weight" BMI of 24.9
4. 145 lbs = Goal Weight BMI of 22.0
MAINTENANCE GOAL:
Stay between 145 lbs and 155 lbs
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