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Old 05-03-2009, 11:16 PM   #1
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Unhappy To lonely to stop over-eating

SO I promised myself this weekend would be a fresh start but I ended up over eating both saturday and today. It wasnt even so much out of cravings it was just trying to fill the emptiness from being really lonely and miserable. I vowed to try to eat healthy in hopes it would make me feel better but I deffinatly let my emotions get the better of my rationality once again. So how can I go about trying again tomorrow? i need something to really inspire me and keep me on track or just some way of dealing with these emotions besides eating and eating and eating. I need some serious help!
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Old 05-03-2009, 11:35 PM   #2
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i understand how you feel,i've stuck to my plan for 28 days and today is the first time i've cheated i was going to have one day a week to go op so i didn't feel neglected from food.... we can do this,just one day a time i suppose!
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Old 05-04-2009, 12:31 AM   #3
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Are you lonely in terms of friends or relationships?

Maybe you could do something to stop the loneliness so that you can stop overeating. How about getting a pet? A dog? Then going to dogparks and so on- that's a great way to meet new people
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Old 05-04-2009, 12:33 AM   #4
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Yes, I understand how you feel. It's rough...
You get bored and lonely and end up eating...
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Old 05-04-2009, 09:44 AM   #5
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I used to feel this way all the time. I have a few friends, family and a husband, But I still felt lonely especially if I felt like going out and no one could go. So to combat lonliness I would eat eat eat.

My solution: Volunteer, I walk dogs at my local animal shelter, and the more I went the more activties I became involved in with the shelter. They have fund raisers: walks, bake sales, animal-human socials, it's a blast. I meet new people and I don't over eat win-win

Animals not your thing? There are a ton of organizations out there that need to raise funds and need volunteers to help, you can basically pick a cause, do a little research and I bet any money that cause has a local chapter that needs help!
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Old 05-04-2009, 09:45 AM   #6
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Sorry you are lonely. Are you spiritual? Do you go to church? That helps on Sundays.

My Nephew just moved to Offit AFB in Omaha from another state. He doesn't know anyone. Guess what he did this past weekend to keep from getting lonely? He went and volunteered at a animal shelter. Yep...and he's not overweight. Funny how the skinny mind works vs. the overweight mind.

ETA: WOW Mikalaya! Good for you! We posted at the same time, about the same thing...lol
Highest weight - 333 pounds. Lost 193 pounds by calorie counting in 2008/09. Regained 73 pounds in the last 7 years and am working on getting back to a normal BMI.

Last edited by Lori Bell; 05-04-2009 at 09:47 AM.
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Old 05-04-2009, 09:53 AM   #7
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Do you have any special interests or hobbies? How about taking a class at a local community center? That's a great way to learn something new and meet people with similar interests.
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Old 05-04-2009, 10:01 AM   #8
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I'm lonely in lacking friends. I used to have friends years and years ago and just sort of isolated myself. Learning how to come back out into the world is a bit tough and I too struggle with the eating thing, especially when my emotions are high.

You're not alone in how you feel.

I like the idea of getting ourselves back out there. Volunteering, getting involved...

Weight Loss Progress: June 08-June 09: -63lbs

Last edited by Jacquie668; 05-04-2009 at 10:01 AM.
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Old 05-04-2009, 10:09 AM   #9
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I think the idea of getting a pet and hitting the dog parks is a really good one. If you are spiritual, the church idea is a really great one too. You are surely to find good people in these places.

I hear what you are saying on the loneliness. I think many of us that have been obese can identify on some level with that. Try to remind yourself that the ONLY problem food will fix is actual HUNGER. If you are eating for another reason, it's only going to make the problem WORSE--including loneliness.

Now, the tricky part is trying to LEARN to replace that habit. I have found other guilty indulgences. Giving myself "permission" to do other things--

watching a movie--especially on Lifetime when I SHOULD be doing other things
Taking a long bath scouring myself from head to toe--shave your legs, put on some nice lotion, whatever

In the beginning, I was actually using Housecleaning as a replacement. I do this sometimes still. Also, I adore cooking and always have. I LOVE reading about nutrition and trying out recipes to replace my Paula Dean creations of the past.

"Be who you are, say what you feel. Those who matter, don't mind. Those who mind, don't matter." --Dr. Seuss
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Old 05-04-2009, 11:02 AM   #10
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I also use housecleaning and a long bath (usually with an audiobook playing) to distract myself when I want to overeat. Both of them leave me feeling good and less interested in food. Outside the house, I like to walk around downtown (also burns calories!) and window-shop or shop for books and other non-food items, and I've taken up a few obsessive new non-food hobbies since I changed my eating that take a lot of my time and aren't easy to eat while I do them... brewing my own beer, and learning stop-motion animation. I've still been in a bit of a slump these last few weeks, so now I'm looking for more activities... I just emailed an at-risk shelter for pregnant teens that's around the corner from our house, asking if they need volunteers (I want to learn more about babies before I have one, so it's a two-birds-with-one-stone thing), and I'm trying to find some sort of sports team I can join as a still-overweight adult woman.

None of these things just fall on my lap, though, I've had to get off the couch and go seek them out. Without these activities, I sit on the couch and wallow in self-pity, which ALWAYS leads to me overeating.
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Old 05-04-2009, 11:40 AM   #11
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Volunteering is an excellent way to meet new people. You're also doing your part to help and getting yourself out of the house, which to me is one of the best ways to keep from overeating. If you have a local community college, a lot of them offer classes on loads of things -- all kinds of arts and crafts, music, hobbies, as well as more academically oriented things. That might be a good place to meet people, too, and learn something new.

But if I'm still stuck inside, I agree with all of the above posters - great ideas! Baths are wonderful. Even flip on the TV if you have to. I've noticed a lot of times if I feel the need to eat, grabbing a big glass of cold water is the better solution. Eating more (smaller) meals is also a way to alleviate hunger.
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Old 05-04-2009, 12:01 PM   #12
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I understand how you feel. For me, it was a negative cycle of feeling lonely because I thought I wasn't worth as much as someone else because I was fat or that people wouldn't like me/accept me because I was fat, and then eating more because I felt lonely. Even after losing some weight and feeling better about myself, I still tend to shy away from meeting people or being in situations where I don't know anyone.

I would recommend exercising, not just because it really helps with getting healthy, but because exercising raises all of those feel good endorphins. I find that if I am in a cranky mood and go running, by the end of the run I can't even remember why I was feeling cranky. Regular exercise can really help with those negative emotions and give you a more positive spirit. If you'd like, join a local running club. You don't have to be a superstar runner to join. It's a great social activity and I've found the people to be very encouraging for beginners.

Do you have a hobby that you've always wanted to pick up? This winter I started quilting, and it was a great way during those dark, cold winter months to keep my mind and hands occupied with something other than being lazy and eating in front of the TV.
GOAL!! 80+ lbs less of me and 13.1 miles later... I'm still running!

My very long goal story w/ photos!!
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Old 05-04-2009, 12:25 PM   #13
So close to onederland...
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I've totally been there, and it's what I blame for my highest weight. But let me dose a little bit of reality: eating to fix this will only leave you larger and still lonely. I say that with a smile and a hug, because I sometimes still have to tell myself that and put the food back in the fridge, even now.

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Old 05-04-2009, 12:49 PM   #14
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I used to feel like that, but like others have said, I decided to get out and volunteer and do something. Just sitting in the house isn't working for me. I workout, I go to my son's baseball games, we go to Red's games, museums, whatever it takes to get you out of this funk. Just do something, anything to get you out of the house.

The past is over, now let's get it!
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Old 05-04-2009, 01:04 PM   #15
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I really understand about eating because you're lonely and unhappy. A few things are helpful for me.

One, I have to realize that when I get into a new routine with eating better, sleeping better and exercising, I feel better, and it becomes at least partly self-sustaining - but the key is realizing that there's no other way than to knuckle down at first to build the new habits. It helps to realize that I'm not sentencing myself to that kind of effort forever, because then I would never start. I remind myself that that first phase is temporary.

Second, I focus on exercise. Food choices are SOOOO much easier for me if I've already exercised in the morning. It's remarkable.

Also, I focus on sleep. That means getting enough, and of good quality. But at least for me, enough doesn't actually mean more. It means less, but early to bed and early to rise. It's hard for me to get up in the morning, early, but it makes a HUGE difference in my choices the rest of the day. Sleeping in feels great at the moment, but makes me really sluggish all day. When I've slept in, every choice I face gets answered with "tomorrow." When I've gotten up early, I think "Why not now?"

And finally, I find I do have to make conscious choices to stay connected to people and get out of the house. I'm an introvert, and I get stressed if I don't have alone time, and I definitely respect and protect that. But it's like the sleep - too much backfires. So I make a conscious choice to be with people, and to have alone time too.
Started 4/14/08 LINK TO PROGRESS PICS 1/1/2009
"It is impossible to live pleasurably without living wisely, well, and justly, and it is impossible to live wisely, well, and justly without living pleasurably" Epicurus
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