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Old 05-01-2009, 01:24 AM   #1
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Default New and Nervous, Scared, Emotional, and Overwhelmed

Hello Everybody,
Well lets cut to the chase.....I'm 5'0", 186 lbs and active duty in the AF. Talk about pressure. When I joined the AF 13 yrs. ago, I was 125 lbs. and never gave too much thought about how much I weighed. But now here I am 32, two kids, and definitely overweight. I have invested thousands of dollars in the latest and greatest weight loss plans and gimmicks and obviously nothing works. Over the years I have found that as long as I stay away from carbs, not fully, but mostly then I lose weight. But of course here comes a Friday night, kids want pizza or McDonald's, husband wants Chinese or Popeye's, and the weight that I've lost throughout the week comes right back on. Fast forward to now...... Two weeks ago I finally decided enough is enough and started working out everyday on the stair master a.k.a the "**** master" and in 30 mins. I burn anywhere from 650-725 cals. I also started eating right and have steadily lost a pound a day. Now I know what you all must be thinking, "you are not eating properly, you must be starving yourself, that't too much weight to lose in a weeks time". But actually I am eating a good amount of food with a couple of "cheats" in the middle. A typcial day for me is: Breakfast: Dannon light and fit yogurt (3 carbs), with wheat germ mixed in it, Lunch: Gordon's fisherman's fish with some sort of veggies, or a salad with some sort of meat and a spray dressing, Dinner: La Tortilla wrap with plenty of spinach, sauteed mushrooms and a meat of my choose , just enough to fill me up. I also take a handful of my supervisor dark chocolate M&M's and maybe later some jelly beans leftover from Easter. For snack I might have the new Pringles Crispy Cracker Stix (Honey Butter), and they are to die for. But back to my real problem.....Since I've started losing weight and eating and working out everyday, I find my self scared to death of failing or cheating. I looked at the scale today and it says 181 lbs. Well guess what......I've been at 181 lbs. before and manage to spike right back up to where I started. I feel like although the weight is coming off, I am fully capable of putting it all right back on. Yes I know, change my way of thinking, it's not a diet it's a way of life. Even though I have a different drive and determination this time around....I've been here before. I'm so scared of myself. Yes, I've implemeted new things to get me through my Friday night relapse but I'm just so scared that I will fall off the wagon for the 80th millionth time and go right back where I started. I've read that once you start losing weight, you physical and mental state start to turn on you and that's what I think is happening. I can't even be happy about the weight that I've lost because again, I'VE BEEN HERE BEFORE. Any suggestion for overcoming your fears of finally being on the right track and feeling great about even the slightest weight loss accomplishments. Thanks and be gentle. This is my first time having the courage to do this.
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Old 05-01-2009, 04:31 AM   #2
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Hi. It sounds like it would help if you learned to trust yourself more. Although you've been there before, it doesn't mean you have to be there again! This can be the last time you have to lose that weight. Trust yourself that you will persevere and make it a life change, not just a diet. Hope that helps!
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Old 05-01-2009, 05:07 AM   #3
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Hi there and welcome to 3FC! Sounds like you have had a rough ride, but you have the right mentality for it. If I may offer some constructive criticism, it does not sound like you are eating enough. Your breakfast is extremely light, as are your other two main meals. Add in some protein in the morning, such as a boiled egg, or the Weight Control oatmeal I adore, or perhaps some lean turkey breast tossed in the skillet with a teensy bit of olive oil. This will help you stay fuller longer, and believe it or not, your breakfast sets the precedent for the rest of the day. Add some fruit to your lunch, and same for dinner, or add some steamed veggies on the side. Fiber and protein are the number two best friends you can have when you are trying to lose weight, because both make you full and keep you satisfied, where you aren't tempted to cheat. Protein in lean meats, and fiber is natural in raw veggies or whole grains. So on to the emotional aspect. My friend, do not base your future on your past. Your past does not define you! If you continue on that mentality, you will fail. Do not think "I have been here before, so I already know what is going to happen." Don't sign yourself off like that; you are in control, you have the reins, and you determine, with every choice you make, whether or not you will succeed. So what if the family wants Mickey D's - let em have it. You must learn to eat for the body that you want, not the body you have. And if others want to eat for the here and now - so be it. But that is not going to be you. And you know what - you can make a lean version of Mickey D's if you want it so badly; get a whole grain bun, some lean ground turkey, mix in some pico de gallo and fat free feta cheese, grill it up and top it with some mustard, fresh spinach, tomatoes and sliced onion, and I promise you it will taste better than anything under Mc Donald's heat lamp. To live with your new lifestyle, make adjustments. Its got to be livable, something you can stick with, because if you sit around thinking "they can have this but I can't" that's not a good thing. You can have it, just tweak it a bit, play with the recipes. There is a whole world of flavour out there beyond any drive thru's menu, and a lot tastier, I promise. Lastly, as far as inspiration, you might want to check out my post "A new perspective on mini goals" in the Weight Support forum. I think your exercise is outstanding, such a great start and you will definitely feel better all the way around. My point is this: if you go through life looking over your shoulder, you're gonna trip and fall flat on your face. But if you travel this journey looking the world squarely in the face, your past will always be where it belongs - in the past, and your future? Its all what you make it. Best of luck!

Last edited by honeybear; 05-02-2009 at 01:14 AM.
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Old 05-02-2009, 01:09 AM   #4
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thanks so much for the helpful advice....honey bear you made my day so much brighter thanks for the burger recipe!!
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