I feel like I'm a miniature fat person- meaning a fat person that has been shrunk into smaller proportions, but is fat nonetheless. It's like I'm not actually thinner at all. All the things I hated about my body when I was 95 pounds heavier are still here-thick calves and ankles, cottage-cheese thighs and butt, stomach that pokes out, underarms that sag.
Honestly, I can't think of a single thing that's gotten better on my body, except that I've shrunk in proportions, and became a miniature fat person.
Has anyone else felt like this? I think the problem is that I have been over 200 for so long, I expected to be thin in the 190s, and I'm far from it. It's hard to believe that I've dropped almost 100 pounds and still have such a long way to go.
Anyway, sorry for the long negative rant. Has anyone else felt this way? When does it get to the point where there's more of YOU than there is of FAT?
I'm not sure I will ever be able to trust my impressions of my body. Sometimes I look in the mirror and see fabulous - and other times hideous - that's been true at every weight I've been from 155 - 394.
Instead, I focus on a healthier weight, rather than an attractive weight. For now, any weight lower than I am is a healthier weight - so every pound is a success, even if the mirror doesn't always say so.
Now's the time for weight lifting! If you want your body to change, pick up something heavy. You'll lose that "miniature fat person" feeling and start seeing some awesome changes.
BTW--awesome job so far! Now's the tweaking part of the program!
I hear it. When I got down to 136 in 2004, that's Exactly how I felt, only I didn't express it as well as you.
Sure, I was pleased to be in smaller sizes, UK12s and even UK10s occasionally, so I Knew in my head that I must have lost weight and girth but yes, everything that had been bulky was still in the same proportion (bulky) to itself.
This time I've re-started at a gym and intend to persevere with it more and try to tone more to get an actual shape; and try to get down to a slightly lower weight too.
Sounds like your head hasn't caught up with the new you! I suffer from this -- at 179 lbs from 244, I see no difference at all when I look in the mirror. Seriously. I just have to go on faith, and look at side-by-side photos. What has helped me is to cover up the photos from the neck up. Sounds weird, but if you do this, you "depersonalize" the photo and can focus on the differences between the two rather than wondering if "my face looks fat"...
Give it a shot!
Kira
ps you really have tiny waist!!! You look amazing!!!
kelly--do you have any pants from your original weight? Put them on and then dance a JIG girl..you are doing very well! You sound like you need a pick me up! Time for a new blouse maybe--or a lipstick?
I know how you feel--yep, I do. But with every wonderful choice you have made this past ONE HUNDRED--yep---again ONE HUNDRED pounds you are all the more closer to being what you want--YOUR MOST FABULOUS SELF!
I hate my friggin' thighs. See my name. But you know what--I have seen a **** of lot worse ones!!! And when it comes time to move--I can do it so much faster now. I can climb stairs without huffing and puffing. Even better, my heart doesn't care what my thighs look like! It only cares it doesn't have to work as hard.
You just keep doing your thing girl. Great things are ahead.
Oh my girl! Look at how far you have come! You look fabulous! But, I know where you are coming from. One of the hardest things about losing weight is how SLOWLY our body seems to begin to look "normal".
It took me 40 lbs to change one size - and that was into a size 16. From there, it took 20 more lbs to get to a size 14.
You just need to hang on a bit longer. I didn't feel that any part of my body looked "normal weight" until I hit about 160. From there, it went pretty fast. Every week I noticed something new. Is that a collar bone? A rib?, a waist? A bicep? A cheekbone?
It WILL come! I promise! So hang in there!
And, the suggestion to begin a weight routine now is a good one. The more you can exercise now, the fitter you will be, and the more fab you will look when those last fat lbs finally disappear!
I know what you mean. When I went from 190 to 143, I expected my body to be dramatically different, and well in all honesty, I felt smaller and loved the increased energy I felt, but I still felt eons away from having the body I wanted. I would spend an hour in front of the mirror marveling at the loss, but then I would fixate on parts I disliked - jiggly inner thighs, a stomach that seemed even more noticeable now that I was smaller (seemed out of place), underarm fat that just seemed like it would not go away.. even with the muscle increase, just made my arms look bigger..
But honestly, you should really focus on what you've accomplished, I mean, that is why you still have a goal weight to get to, this isn't where you want to stop but you still accomplished SO MUCH and you are still on the road.
And let me tell you, at 5' 3" and weighing 190, I would have KILLED for your tummy! seriously, I mean, you have an amazing waist and great proportions! The only reason why I'm not going to say that I wish I had your curves right now is because I've been working on learning to appreciate my own curves, and still admire all types of proportions.
It took me a while to start to appreciate my curves that I kept throughout my weight loss and appreciate the parts of me I liked. For example, I have this thing about my butt and how much more enhanced it got even though it got smaller.. the proportions were still there.
Keep in mind too that it is all mental. When I got smaller, I thought I would be able to wear more styles than I could, but I had to accept that not every style is flattering on all body types and as you get smaller, you get to experiment with clothes and really enhance what you have. (your clothes already look great on you though) When I forced myself to do this, I felt 100x more confident and even MORE excited about getting to goal...
Also, I know the feeling where you still feel jiggly.. my outer thighs and under thighs felt very muscular (they have always been like that) but I expected my inner thighs follow suite.. same as my stomach.. but I started doing strengthening workouts and that REALLY helped, even if it was taking a while to visibly show, I felt areas tighten up and that was encouraging enough to keep going. It is such a process too, to learn to take care of your body and not feel so negative about it.. it's all part of the losing.
Anyway, don't fixate on the negatives in your body, you look fabulous, just keep going!
Last edited by Starrynight; 05-31-2009 at 06:13 PM.
I think you need to give your brain time to catch up.
Just this morning I saw a post you had written and looked at your avatar. You look amazing! Don't be discouraged because you can't see it. Eventually your brain will start to see the real you...
Also remember that even the thinnest, most beautiful women have something about their looks they don't like. None of us are perfect, and I cannot think of a single person I know who doesn't have various parts of their body that they're unhappy with! Finding imperfections in ourselves is not reserved for the overweight. I think many times, myself included, we think that once we get to our goal weight, we will LOVE our bodies 100%. We will always have flaws, but that's what makes us unique
Last edited by JanieJones; 05-31-2009 at 08:36 PM.
I think it can be a very practical and helpful move to set up small weight loss goals, each with its own reasonable timeline. This way you can break down your overall weight loss in the long run, and not feel so overwhelmed by looking at the big picture all the time.
I feel like I'm a miniature fat person- meaning a fat person that has been shrunk into smaller proportions, but is fat nonetheless. It's like I'm not actually thinner at all. All the things I hated about my body when I was 95 pounds heavier are still here-thick calves and ankles, cottage-cheese thighs and butt, stomach that pokes out, underarms that sag.
Honestly, I can't think of a single thing that's gotten better on my body, except that I've shrunk in proportions, and became a miniature fat person.
Has anyone else felt like this? I think the problem is that I have been over 200 for so long, I expected to be thin in the 190s, and I'm far from it. It's hard to believe that I've dropped almost 100 pounds and still have such a long way to go.
Anyway, sorry for the long negative rant. Has anyone else felt this way? When does it get to the point where there's more of YOU than there is of FAT?
Yes, I have felt like this. Do now actually. I always thought that once I lost some weight, I'd be skinny, and I look down and still see my stomach, my thighs, etc....and I think do I look any different at all? One thing I have noticed and love is that I can walk around much longer without getting winded and having my legs hurt.
Oh, and buying smaller clothes is super sweet too!
Well the unfortunate thing is.... you're right. If you are someone who has a lot of weight to lose, and then you DO lose a bunch, you WILL have less fat all around. But will you be "thin" or "skinny"? That's another story entirely. It's like going from obese to overweight. You're definitely thinner than before, and you're most likely feeling waaaay better physically and mentally, but you aren't yet at that point where you'd be caught strutting down the beach (confidently). And that's ok! Because you know what? Every pound you lose is another step to where you want to be. If you're still unhappy then you're likely not finished with your journey. Just look at all you've accomplished so far. With continued dedication, you will bust through these annoying "in-between" times. It's sort of like growing out a bad haircut. Your hair is getting longer so you're happier.... but it's still at an annoying "longer-yet-still-too-short" stage!
Last edited by Kimmie1989; 05-31-2009 at 09:26 PM.
My Mom recently lost a lot of weight--just watching what she ate--no excercise whatsoever. (Though she has a physically demanding job). And she may be skinny--but she's flabby and loose everywhere. (Of course, she's also in her mid-sixties: but I truly have no idea what's "normal" for that age!)
Miniature Fat Person... (rant)
You'll lose that "miniature fat person" feeling and start seeing some awesome changes. 
