Probably the best compliment I've ever gotten was from my nephew, who's 18. I hadn't seen him for several months while I was losing weight, and went to my brother's place for a visit. He didn't know I was there and walked out of his bedroom and ran into me, literally. He said hi and walked on..then stopped, turned around, did a double take and literally grabbed me and hugged me three or four times just repeating "Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! You look SO good!"
I wish I could remember that when I get the catty "you look sick" comments now, instead of letting them get to me...
Saef: I hear that pulling a sled in Alaska is GREAT for working out your lower body and arms!!! Congrats on reaching your goal! You rock and are an inspiration!!!
Kira
I am new here, but I have been trying to get back in shape for awhile. I have been at the gym 2 times this week, done by 6:30 am. Both days I called my boyfriend when I was finished (he was on his way to work to tell him that I have been to the gym. His reply:
I'M SO PROUD OF YOU!!!!
That makes me feel really good!!!
Last edited by Jacque9999; 04-16-2009 at 04:30 PM.
At my starting weight, I just hated when I went shopping in a "regular" store and the employees come up to me and ask, "are you having trouble finding your size??" ARRG!! Thats so embarrassing!
Even now at my current weight when I walk into those "skinny people stores" like Forever 21 and such, you can just feel them staring at you waiting for you to realize that I'm still to fat and to just leave the store....
I feel you on that one, mudskippersgrl...I need to go shopping SO badly for spring/summer stuff, but the "non-plus sized" stores make me so nervous I keep putting off the trips. When I used to walk into those places, I fit in. I would avoid "skinny" sections like the plague because I hated the "YOU DON'T BELONG HERE!" stares. Now I feel like I still get them, even though I probably don't...
I'm having the opposite problem now... i want to shop at the plus size store... they have cuter clothes then the "regular" stores... lol but that stuff doesnt fit me now! its backwards im in between.. too small for the plus sized store... still a little too big for the "normal store" i guess they just want me to go naked.
i saw the CUTEST dress at Torrid. and i wanted it SO bad. i think i might just buy it and save it for my "goal" dress and then have it taken in once i get there.
Last edited by xpinkglowx2; 04-16-2009 at 05:59 PM.
My little sister is a great one for coming out with things, usually of the horrible variety, I wonder when it will stop...when I was younger she used to call me "horse thighs" and last week she saw me after losing 60lbs and said I have a "pea head" that didn't look in proportion.
My sister does this too, though she's trying to be nice. The last one was when we were out for our Sunday walk with her kids. She glanced over at me and said, "Wow, your butt is so much smaller than it used to be!" Right in front of her husband.
Hey, thanks, Sis. That's not embarrassing at ALL. But she's my *older* sister, and I don't let her forget it.
I don't know why it bothers me--it seems silly really---but when I was down about 40 pounds down a woman I have had conflict with in the past came up to me and said, "You look great--I am so proud of you.." when she said this it sounded very patronizing to me..like there was another motive behind it or something....or the whole, "I am so proud of you" thing---it sort of implies a superior/subordinate relationship or something.
You know, I have trouble with this one, too. I have a close relative that will sometimes say that she's "proud of me" for slimming down and it really bugs me. It's almost as if she is somehow claiming that she's had something to do with it, or like she's "proud" that I am finally making the right choices? I dunno. I've never really been able to put my finger on why it bugs me, but I think you might be right--it kind of implies a superior/subordinate relationship.
On the other hand, the day that my Dad said he was proud of me for going back to college and changing careers--that was a really, really good day.
I'm having the opposite problem now... i want to shop at the plus size store... they have cuter clothes then the "regular" stores... lol but that stuff doesnt fit me now! its backwards im in between.. too small for the plus sized store... still a little too big for the "normal store" i guess they just want me to go naked.
You and I are the same height and I have the same problem. "Womens" sizes are generally too big (and too short) for me, but "Misses" sizes are generally too skimpy and tight. When I lost weight before (coincidently, I was right around 207), I really grieved that I had become too small to shop at Lane Bryant. That was my comfort zone and I felt like I was surrounded by similarly-sized people. Even the sales staff is/was comfortably fluffy for the most part and I didn't feel judged or embarrassed to have them help me find my size. So even though I was happy to finally be able to shop Misses sizes, I was sad that I was leaving my comfort zone.
I’ve had tons of backhanded compliments in the past few years! A lot of the “you have such a pretty face” compliments, like that’s going to make up for me being a fat ***! I know people mean well by them (well, I HOPE people mean well by them) but they really need to take a class or something. The few that have really stuck with me are:
“You’re such a pretty girl… it’s really a shame that you’re… uh…” then they just walked away. Huh.
“You don’t look as fat as usual in that top!”
“Wow, you really know how to dress to make yourself look normal instead of hefty!” Yes, they said hefty, and I dunno, am I not “normal” because I’m larger?
And my favorite:
“Maybe you should get in the tanning bed. Tan fat is prettier than pale fat. You could be gorgeous!”
Boy, those are some zingers!
And the one time I took my best friend (a massive 5’10” 100 pound model) into Lane Bryant with me, she almost cried with relief when we left and said “Did you see the looks I got in there? Now I know how you feel when I take you into all my skinny stores!”
Ive posted about this before, but incase some of u havnt read!
Bad-
I was pulled into bosses office for department manager and head boss to offer me a better position. One of my department managers 'way' of convincing me to take the job was to say- "Tarryn you know, you have changed soo much since you started working here, when you started you ddint really have a very good attitude and you were overweight..."
Mind you she was always at least 40 lbs heavier than me at my highest (not that is a competition). I was just so mortified and couldnt see at all how that was relevant- especially the bad attitude part.
Good-
Nothing specific just the general wow you look good complimentss, even though sometime it gets sort of awkward when i don't know what to say...you get sick of saying thanks over and over!
This is a good thread. I remember when I was about 13 and I had just gotten braces. I went to the dentist to have my teeth cleaned and the dental assistant who was working on me said, "Well, usually people who have braces lose weight. I guess it didn't work for you." I was mortified. I remember as soon as I got in the car with my mom to go home I busted out crying.
Another time was when I got my senior portraits taken in high school. I went to my grandparents house to show them to them. My grandpa took one look and said to my grandma, "Wow, she's really heavy there." Yes, this was right in front of me. I just remember the big lump in my throat trying to hold back my tears. I'm really sensitive, if you haven't guessed by now.
The stinging comments don't seem to stop even when you lose weight though, don't you think? Like somehow ppl think that its suddenly okay to tell you how fat you used to be and its not gonna hurt your feelings all of a sudden. Like, "Wow, you've lost a LOT of weight!! I can't believe it!!" or yes, the "sick" comments or my grandma who would always try to feed me when I lose weight! haha
Kira: WOOF!
