3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community  

Go Back   3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community > Support Forum > Weight Loss Support

Weight Loss Support Give and get support here!

Envy and going "too slow"

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 04-11-2009, 01:10 PM   #1
Senior Member
 
Windchime's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 2,089

Height: 5'11"

Default Envy and going "too slow"

So I'm here to admit: I feel envious of some of you. Mostly I am really happy to read posts where others share their success, I truly am. But sometimes, like today, I just feel a little bit envious and not as happy as I should be!

I lost 7.2 pounds in January (before I started counting calories, just cutting back), 1.4 pounds in February (and that's when I started working out!), 7 pounds in March. Nothing at all in April. Zero.

So I did what any good programmer/analyst would do, and I crunched some numbers. I added my weekly calorie average to my spreadsheet where I'm tracking my weight loss, to try to see if there is some correlation and there really isn't much. I wish there was a way to add in my exercise but would that be apples and oranges? I mean, does 30 minutes on the elliptical *mean* anything as far as data goes? I could be strolling or sweating my rear off for those 30 minutes (usually it's sweating).

My stats are: 5'11", current weight 229.6, 47 years old. I am averaging 1718 calories per week. The Daily Plate says I should be eating 1749 if I'm sedentary, 2105 if I'm moderately active.

My plan is this: Switch out the elliptical for some good old-fashioned walking. I have a route with a killer hill, so that's where I'll go. My normal route is 2 miles but I can add a third mile some days, so I'll do that. Other things:

I'm a calorie counter, but I haven't been counting sugar in my tea. I also don't really KNOW how much a "pat" of butter is, so I will try to be more accurate there. Those things are small, but it's possible that they're adding up to more than I think they are.

Any other ideas? Most times I'm OK with my pace and my pants are getting loose, but I'm TIRED of sitting at the same weight for literally weeks at a time! Especially when people here are losing weight at 2-3 times the rate that I am--it makes me feel like I'm never going to reach my goal. I'm trying not to put a time limit on it because that's always been a recipe for failure for me, but at this rate it will take me another year to lose what I want.
__________________


Short-Term Goal


One dancer for each 5 lbs lost!
Windchime is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-11-2009, 01:29 PM   #2
Member
 
Razorcandy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Philadelphia PA
Posts: 85

S/C/G: 255/230/150

Height: 5'2"

Default

I can totally understand you feeling envious. I feel envious of some of the members who have lots huge amounts of weight.

I am still a newbie, I have lost 5 lbs in 1 week. I am not keeping my calories the same everyday. They are ranging between 1500 - 1700. If I get up to 1700 one day, the next I only go to 1500.

Also, I had a day that I allowed myself to cheat.

I have heard people who hit a plateau have a nice big bowl of pasta for dinner one night, then go back to low cal for a week and that kicks their system back into burning fat.

I would like to ask you, have you been to the doctor to be checked for thyroid? Or have your fasting insulin levels been checked?
Razorcandy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-11-2009, 01:48 PM   #3
Senior Member
 
Windchime's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 2,089

Height: 5'11"

Default

My calories aren't the same from day to day; they average out to the numbers that I gave. Five pounds in one week? That's the kind of thing that makes me feel envy, since it takes me a month to lose that (if I'm lucky). I had bloodwork done last week but won't know the results until I have my yearly physical in a couple of weeks.
__________________


Short-Term Goal


One dancer for each 5 lbs lost!
Windchime is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-11-2009, 01:53 PM   #4
Onward and Downward
 
meowee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Nova Scotia
Posts: 8,495

S/C/G: 285/215/1??

Height: 5'2"

Default

Hey Chickies I more than know how you feel . . .

It has taken me from January 2006 to lose 75 pounds -- for three major reasons (a) I'm old; (b) I'm a diabetic; and (c) I'm not always as OP as I would like to be.

But this is not a race; it's a whole new lifestyle we are trying for. I truly believe that the longer it takes, the better your learning curve and thus the better the chance the weight will stay off.
__________________
And here we go for 2009 . . . Onward and Downward . . .

meowee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-11-2009, 02:37 PM   #5
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 1,123

Default

You've fallen into a lot of common traps, and they can really derail you.

First, you simply cannot compare your progress to that of other people. It's like being jealous of the neighbor who has the marble foyer and the backyard swimming pool whereas you have vinyl and a plastic kiddie pool. You don't know that neighbor's true financial situation and they may be sitting on a debt timebomb. The fact is that there are a million factors that go into how much weight a given person will lose in a week, and comparing yourself to someone else in this regard is not apples and oranges, it's apples and giraffes. That person who lost 5 pounds in a week? Maybe they have more muscle mass (or simply weigh a lot more) than you and thus a higher metabolism. Maybe it's the first week of their plan and they've lost a lot of water weight (also happens for women the week after their period). Maybe they are doing something crazy and are losing faster than they should.

Not only is comparing yourself to others pointless from a scientific point of view, but as others have said, the point here is changing your life, not reaching a deadline. Think of it this way: Five years from now you'll be living your healthy lifestyle, having been at your goal weight for a while if all goes well. At that point will it matter if you got to goal in 6 months or a year or two years? You are trying to turn your entire life around, and that takes practice and trial and error. The weight will come off eventually -- what's MORE important than the weight and how fast you lose it is that you are building habits that will last the rest of your life. In that regard, SLOW loss is actually better because you have more time to learn how to be a healthy, fit person.

And, as a science/computer person myself, I hate to tell ya, but crunching the numbers isn't the whole story. Tracking all of this mathematically gives you an idea of the ballpark, but it's not entirely predictive. The fact is that our bodies are messy, idiosyncratic, organic organisms. Sure, various formulas are available that purport to calculate how many calories per day your body should burn at rest, and how much more for a few lifestyle activity tiers. But, at best, they are gross estimates, and they assume that your body and metabolism are completely 100% average. If not, there goes the estimate. Even if it is, there are things that happen every day that cause your body to speed or slow your metabolism. So, those numbers are just really broad rules of thumb and shouldn't be taken too literally.

As for not counting the sugar, not knowing how big a pat of butter is, etc. ... you've gotta do that if you want to keep the numbers in that ballpark. Measure and record everything, at least for a couple of weeks. Counting exercise can be really hard -- no two calculators I've ever seen agree. I just don't factor that into my calculations.

If everything checks out and your calories aren't significantly higher when you're counting more accurately, here are a few things to try:

If you're eating 3 squares a day, try breaking up your food into smaller meals/snacks. If you go more than 3 or 4 waking hours without food, your metabolism can slow. Keeping the furnace stoked will help it burn hotter. Also, if you don't eat breakfast, eat SOMETHING with balanced nutrients (carb, protein, fat) within an hour or so of waking. The sooner you eat, the sooner your metabolism wakes up.

It sounds like you do different things exercise-wise, and that's good. Just keep mixing it up. Also, when doing cardio, try intervals. During your routine, do 3 or 4 spurts where you go as hard and fast as you can for a couple of minutes, interspersed with a more moderate pace. You can also alternate days of shorter, intense workouts with longer, more moderate ones. The idea is to keep your body guessing and not letting it get too efficient as it "learns" your routine.

If you're not weight training, start! Adding muscle mass (and no, you won't bulk up unless you take steroids) is the best way to rev your metabolism. Check out www.stumptuous.com for some great info. I also like Kathy Smith's Lift Weights to Lose Weight DVDs.
funniegrrl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-11-2009, 03:04 PM   #6
Senior Member
 
Windchime's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 2,089

Height: 5'11"

Default

Thanks for the detailed response, funniegrrl. I laughed when you said that about crunching the numbers, because us analytical types really do fall into the trap of trying to reduce everything to a formula or a data set! I had actually started the original post earlier in the morning but then thought, "wait, maybe I should analyze the numbers first."

I do understand what you mean about comparing. I'd rather have the plastic wading pool with a nice savings account than the huge mansion with the scary debt, just as I'd like to do this the right, maintainable way instead of the crash-diety, temporary way. It is just hard not to be discouraged when I seem to be surrounded by success stories. I would imagine it's kind of the same way I felt when I wanted to get pregnant and was surrounded by families with babies, or when I got divorced and all I could see were happy couples holding hands and buying engagement rings.

I am going to crack down on the calorie counting. I really try to be as accurate as possible but there could be a lot more calories buried in the pats of butter and teaspoons of sugar than I think there are. And I've been mulling over the idea of starting to lift weights, so it sounds like you agree that might be a good idea. I know I won't bulk up; I'm not one of those women who have bought into that myth! I'm already doing the interval training on the elliptical; I don't remember who here suggested that but I've been doing that for a couple of weeks.

Hopefully it'll all add up to something positive. I know it's not all about the scale but it's really the only way I have to measure right now; my waist measurement fluctuates but up to an inch a day and it always takes me at least 30 pounds to drop one pants size. (Why? Again, other people who are heavier than me are saying that they're dropping a size with 5 or 10 pounds!!??)

Grrrrr. I hope tomorrow is a better day. I know from experience that I MUST count calories or else it is just too easy to overeat, but sometimes I feel that I've just moved my food obsession to a different form.....from over eating to contstantly analyzing calories.
__________________


Short-Term Goal


One dancer for each 5 lbs lost!

Last edited by Windchime : 04-11-2009 at 03:05 PM.
Windchime is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-11-2009, 03:09 PM   #7
Maintaining :)
 
CountingDown's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Michigan
Posts: 4,752

S/C/G: 215/117/120

Height: 5'4"

Default

funniegrrl had good advice, pretty much what I would have said.
DEFINITELY weigh and measure EVERYTHING! and COUNT everything that has calories in it. Those little BLTs and spoonfuls of sugar can really add up!

Make sure your calories are balanced, and that you are taking a multi-vitamin. I do like breaking my meals up into 6 eating occasions - and I try to make sure each of them is balanced as well. (40/30/30).
__________________

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, which you have from God, and that you are not your own? ICor 6:19
My Pictorial Journey " " My Goal Story
CountingDown is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-11-2009, 03:16 PM   #8
nirvikalpa samadhi
 
DCHound's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Gaithersburg, MD
Posts: 1,728

S/C/G: 369.5/ticker/169.5

Height: 5'8"

Default

Quote:
it always takes me at least 30 pounds to drop one pants size. (Why? Again, other people who are heavier than me are saying that they're dropping a size with 5 or 10 pounds!!??)
My guess is because you are 5'11. I'm 5'8. In general it takes me about 20 lbs to lose a size. However, I'm in a similar boat to you in that I haven't lost a single stinking pound since Valentine's Day ~ but I've lost 2 sizes. I'll take the being smaller over the being lighter any day of the week though.
__________________
DCHound is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-11-2009, 04:33 PM   #9
Back on the wagon
 
kuhljeanie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Kettering, Ohio
Posts: 493

S/C/G: 205/162/125

Height: 5'1"

Default

one other thing to consider: the folks who are losing so dramatically may be more inclined to post those envy-inducing success stories than people like, say, me. what could be more compelling a title for a post than "i lost 35 lbs in just over a year! and i still have 30 lbs to go! until i reach my goal weight!"

just sayin'!
__________________
kuhljeanie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-11-2009, 05:05 PM   #10
Senior Member
 
Windchime's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 2,089

Height: 5'11"

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by kuhljeanie View Post
one other thing to consider: the folks who are losing so dramatically may be more inclined to post those envy-inducing success stories than people like, say, me. what could be more compelling a title for a post than "i lost 35 lbs in just over a year! and i still have 30 lbs to go! until i reach my goal weight!"

just sayin'!
Hahah, thanks for the laugh! I'm sure you're right about that! Nobody is going to read my post entitled "Yay, I lost 1.4 pounds in February!"

It's really funny how I can feel my pants getting looser and my sister, who hasn't seen me since Christmas, said that my "girls" look smaller, but the scale really isn't reflecting that so much. Last time I was stuck for 3 stinkin' weeks at the same weight and then BOOM I dropped 4.5 pounds the next week. So I'm hoping, hoping, hoping that will happen again soon.
__________________


Short-Term Goal


One dancer for each 5 lbs lost!
Windchime is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-11-2009, 05:52 PM   #11
aka Sarah
 
WarMaiden's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,221

S/C/G: 289/193/159

Height: 5'7"

Default

I get some mild envy, time to time, about other people's weight loss successes. But then it's possible that another person could envy -my- success...the very success I think is "not all that great." Even if you've only lost 10 pounds, or are losing 1 pound per month, the person who is gaining weight or only maintaining will likely consider YOU a huge success! It's all about perspective. And as long as we all keep at it and are smart about things, we'll get there sooner or later.
__________________
WarMaiden is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-11-2009, 06:58 PM   #12
Senior Member
 
kaplods's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Wausau, WI
Posts: 13,349

S/C/G: SW:394/310/180

Height: 5'6"

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by meowee View Post
Hey Chickies I more than know how you feel . . .

It has taken me from January 2006 to lose 75 pounds -- for three major reasons (a) I'm old; (b) I'm a diabetic; and (c) I'm not always as OP as I would like to be.

But this is not a race; it's a whole new lifestyle we are trying for. I truly believe that the longer it takes, the better your learning curve and thus the better the chance the weight will stay off.

It's so nice to see someone else talking about being a slow loser, and being ok with it. I so often, feel like I have to apologize for losing slow - even though I'm happy with my slow progress. Unlike other weight loss attempts where I really had to suffer to lose weight (and would eventually go off plan, because I couldn't take the suffering any longer), this time around I chose to only make changes I could see myself making for life. At first there weren't many, but I was losing - and then I found there were a few more things I was willing and able to do, and I'd give those a try, and have a little more success.

It could conceivably take me a decade to get all of my weight off, or maybe it will only take a couple - but as you say this isn't a race, not only with other people, but even with myself.

It's hard, because we are taught that faster is better so much more than we are taught that slow's ok too. I'll take slow and easy over fast and miserable, and I shouldn't have to apologize for my choice (and yet I still feel the need to).

It's important, I think in weight loss to seperate the nonsense from the truth. it's not always easy, because most of the stuff we think about weight loss, we don't even realize we were taught (so unlearning stuff can be a challenge), and a lot of it we "know" isn't true, but feel it anyway (again, mostly because we don't realize that it's the way "we all" have been raised to feel and believe).

I don't have any simple solutions, just empathy - because it is tough.
__________________
My Etsy shop (currently closed for the summer)

http://www.dreamstormdesigns.etsy.com
etsy link by permission from 3fc! Want to add yours? Ask them!
kaplods is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-11-2009, 08:39 PM   #13
Senior Member
 
Jacqui_D's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 2,999

S/C/G: 220/208/170

Height: 5'8"

Default

You know, I never find myself feeling envious. I am genuinely happy for those who are able to lose weight faster than I am. I am also genuinely happy for those who are able to lose 1.4 lb in a month! Why? Because I know how hard it is! How can I not be happy for anyone who achieves even the slightest success toward their goal? How can I not be happy for anyone who achieves a big success? We all know what it's like to weigh more than we should and how hard it is to finally make the decision to change that. It's hard! And then not only do we have to take it off, but we have to keep it off! So I am happy whenever anyone is able to keep the scale from going UP! It's a victory, and an inspiration for me. I have tried all the "fast" fads and diets, only to have my weight come back, with even more pounds, year after year after year. I am 47, and I wish at 40, I hadn't thrown in the towel, thinking it was just too hard and was taking too long to take off the weight. I definitely thought, "At this rate, it will take me a year!" Now I think, "Okay, if I had kept it up at 40, then at 41, I would have been thinner!" But instead, here I am at 47, trying to get out of the obese range. So, now, it is what it is--I am 47, about to turn 48, and when I am 49, I want to be healthier and hopefully thinner. All I know is that I don't want to be this weight 10 years from now, so this time, it doesn't matter how fast or slow anyone else can do it. It doesn't even matter how fast or slow I can do it. It just matters that I stick with it, no matter how long it takes!
__________________
Current Attempt (Slow Carb Diet, restarted May 3, 2015) <> Previous Attempt (Slow Carb Diet, 2013-14)

= 10 lbs lost; = 5 lbs lost:
MINI GOALS:
1. 196 lbs = No longer Obese
2. 183 lbs = 1/2 from 196 to Goal
3. 170 lbs = Goal! 50 lbs down!
MAINTENANCE GOAL:
170-179 lbs
"A year from now, what will I wish I had done today?" -- Unknown Author
Jacqui_D is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-12-2009, 12:09 AM   #14
Senior Member
 
teawithsunshine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 671

S/C/G: 307/lost 140+ lbs/125

Default

Hi windchime!!

It's tough, I know to try to lose weight PERIOD. Heck, I didn't even lose 130 pounds in order... I lost 101 lbs, then gained 50 back due to depression and other issues and then got back on track to lose up to where I am now

Do you mind listing a typical meal for a day (plus the calories) and also how much you exercise (time length) with cardio & resistance training on a weekly basis?

we 3fatchickies can help!!

~ tea
teawithsunshine is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-12-2009, 01:48 AM   #15
Senior Member
 
redlight's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 694

S/C/G: 174(highest) 150/150/138

Height: 5'7"

Default

You lost 15 pounds in less than 4 months! That's a considerable step in the right direction. If you lose 15 pounds in each of the next 4 month periods, you would have lost 45 pounds in less than a year.

Keep it up!
__________________
redlight is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply
Posts by members, moderators and admins are not considered medical advice
and no guarantee is made against accuracy.


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 04:41 AM.






Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2015, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.3.2