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Old 04-03-2009, 08:51 AM   #1
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A few days ago at work, the girl in the cubicle across the aisle notices that I have carrots with me. She says very loudly, ohhh are you trying to eat healthy? Honestly I don't remember what I said, but I had had a very rough emotional day and it probably wasnt very nice. She's a very sensitive girl and so the next day I emailed her to tell her that yes, I was dieting but I didn't want other people to know. So I thought we understood each other.

So, yesterday, she comes to work with a bag of cookies that she made. She gives one to the woman in front of me, ask me if I want one and I said no, then gives one to the girl behind me and comes back to my desk and says I'm just gonna put one here, and leaves it on my desk. I tell her again, I don't want one. She then says that my desk has germs and she can't take it back now.

My first thought, which out of kindness I didn't do, was to throw it away. So that it sat on my desk for an hour or so before I finally ate it. I know that one cookie didnt kill me and I wasn't really worried about that. I just can't believe that she forced it on me. Kinda Pi****ed me off.
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Old 04-03-2009, 08:57 AM   #2
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wow. talk about passive/aggressive behavior!! Watch out for her!

I don't mind every now and again eating something special, but I really detest being "forced" to.

I wouldn't have known what to do, either. Don't beat yourself up about the cookie, but now you can have your radar up about her.
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Old 04-03-2009, 09:04 AM   #3
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before, I agree to have your radar on that one..

I have written this story here before. When I was just starting last summer I had someone that tried to sabotage me--a friend actually. When I was at my highest weight she would give me unwanted and unsolicited dieting advice almost daily. Once I began losing weight she would bring gigantic cookies with frosting for my kids, fat laden meals, etc to my house...I sent her away again and again..I stood my ground and wouldn't allow junk at my house..

Well, now she is heavier than ever and is now saying to me, "don't lose anymore weight..you shouldn't run because it is bad for your body.." and blah, blah, blah.....I also discovered that at the one and only WW meeting I have ever been to, she showed up before me and told the women running the place that I was some crazed diet fanatic ...No wonder I didn't like the meeting and felt so attacked! she always must feel she is superior regardless of anything..

stand your ground, dump the cookie, do what you must..and thumbs up on the carrots..they really help me too!
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Old 04-03-2009, 09:18 AM   #4
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I would have thrown it away and smiled at her, 'cause I'm mean like that. I grew up with 6 brothers and 0 sisters, so I don't know how to do that passive/aggressive nonsense. I just do what I want and say what I mean. People like that irritate me..
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Old 04-03-2009, 09:30 AM   #5
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She BLATANTLY tried to violate your clearly expressed wishes, and you didn't want to be mean to her?? I'd have looked her in the eye, pitched it in the trash, and said a very sweet thank you. This woman is someone you have to stand your ground with. You didn't ask for it, you don't want it, don't eat it!

ETA: Oh, and if she objects, just say very innocently, "You gave it to me. Didn't you mean I could do whatever I wanted with it?" and smile sweetly again. She'll stop.
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Old 04-03-2009, 09:32 AM   #6
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I have people I know like that!! Watch out for her!!! She will have negative comments and try to mess with your head!! BEWARE!!!
People can be so cruel...like once a so called friend told me she could tell I was losing weight but my butt was still huge!!! Its not like I didnt know that already!!!
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Old 04-03-2009, 09:33 AM   #7
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Next time throw it away. Do it discreetly if you like, but toss it.

Keep things only businesslike with this person.

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Old 04-03-2009, 09:40 AM   #8
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I would have thrown it out (while she was watching) and said that it was her fault for mentioning my desk germs, now I'm afraid of what's on the cookie.
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Old 04-03-2009, 09:47 AM   #9
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I would've tossed it, too. Now she'll just do this again and again and again. You'll have to be stern with this one to get her to stop....
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Old 04-03-2009, 09:59 AM   #10
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Would've tossed the cookie too. Subtly if I was in the mood. Obviously if I was in the mood. And if there were comments on the tossing of the cookie, I would have used the germ reference like Mayness.

Control of what you put into your body is a basic human right....don't be coerced by this woman! I think you are kinder than I am, perhaps, but don't be afraid to stick to your guns.
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Old 04-03-2009, 10:02 AM   #11
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and she didn't force you to eat the cookie, you allowed her to control you by you eating it. Toss it next time.
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Old 04-03-2009, 10:09 AM   #12
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Yup, watch out for that one. That 'germs' remark was just WTFckery anyway.

(That said, it's not so far from truth, an office desk being one of the most germs-laden places... If she does that again, maybe you can use that to 'trick' yourself into being disgusted and not eating the cookie?)
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Old 04-03-2009, 10:19 AM   #13
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sigh, isn't it hard enough to deal with ourselves, and then have to deal with crap like that!?!

I think I would have *flicked* it off the desk with my thumb and forefinger but I'm also mean sometimes if I think the person deserves it.

well I sure hope she backs off from you, and congrats to you for doing your part by having carrots

People are just insane sometimes. A couple months ago someone came into work and offered me a piece of a bar/cookie thing. I said 'no thank you' with a smile. He said, come on, it's small. And I said politely again, 'no thank you'. Again he said, what's the problem, you can have a tiny piece. And a third time I said no thank you. AND a fourth time he pressed it on me again! I finally gripped his upper arm, got right in his face, and said, 'why are you forcing me?' and he says because when you deny your self any treats you make youself crazy. Yeah, I'm crazy, LOL
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Old 04-03-2009, 10:26 AM   #14
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If it'd happened to me yesterday, with the mood I was in, I might've thrown the cookie AT her....see if you come to MY cubicle again, missy!!!
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Old 04-03-2009, 10:29 AM   #15
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Had I thought about the too many germs on my desk comment at the time, I definately would've used. Darn cookie wasn't even very good.
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