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Old 04-02-2009, 06:39 PM   #1
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Default I'm having a hard time...

I started coming around here years ago. Probably around when I was 16. I'm 21 now. In those first few years I was up and down with weight loss. Then I ended up gaining about 40-50 pounds while I was on a medication, reached probably close to 300 pounds (not sure how much exactly, didn't weigh myself until after I had already lost some, at that time I was 276.) After that, I knew I had to lose that weight. I went off the meds and started working out. I stuck to it and lost 30-40 pounds. That was about 2 years ago. Since then, I've maintained the weight. Haven't gained, haven't lost. I've started trying to exercise again, but I usually lose my motivation after a few days. I eat what I want, regardless. I don't eat badly, but I'm very picky. A lot of things gross me and make me nauseous, so I don't try to diet or anything like that. I've always done well enough with losing weight if I just stick to exercising. My problem is motivation.
I deal with depression a lot. I'm also pretty unhappy with my life, where I live. I'm in a very compicated long distance relationship that really drains my energy and emotions. I'm almost done with college and I have no idea what I'm doing with my life. I have no friends, other than my boyfriend. I'm lonely a lot, and bored.
It all seems so pointless most of the time, weight loss and life and everything, so I have the hardest time keeping up with the exercise. I feel like it's crucial right now. For my confidence, my health. My boyfriend doesn't really care that I need to lose a few pounds, he does too. It's just that it affects my confidence and the sexual aspect of our relationship. I don't like when he touches my tummy, I won't get on top. I don't feel sexy. I feel like the extra weight holds me back.
I just don't know what to do to stay motivated.
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Old 04-02-2009, 07:09 PM   #2
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My heart hurts for you. *hug*

We find our motivation in so many different places. For me, a stupid one of mine, is seeing the way people look at a coworker since he's lost weight and thinking if the ladies are looking at him like that, I can get some of this flab off and hopefully the guys will be looking at me. It's superficial, but it is what it is.

But I also love to hike and the more I exercise, the easier hiking is becoming. My clothes are getting too big. I'm getting compliments, etc, etc.

My heart and stomach are considerably happier and I am saving money on stomach meds.

But I have struggled with depression and I know where you are coming from. Have you spoken with a counselor or doctor? Career counselor might be a good idea, too, to help you figure out what you are going to do with your life. I have a career that I absolutely love and I actually look forward to going to work every day. Having a direction and focus in your career can really clear your mind and make everything else that much easier. Uncertainity is very hard, especially with mental health issues.


You came here because you are looking for that motivation, which signals to me that you haven't given up yet. I hope things look up for you soon!


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Old 04-02-2009, 07:48 PM   #3
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Hi squishy, not much advice,but I understand where you are at and you aren't alone. I'm not in a relationship right now, but I avoid it because of my weight and body, and when I was in a relationship I wasn't confident with myself.

Exercise is hard for me too; it's so hard in the beginning, you get sore, out of breath, the results don't come for months and months, it makes me more hungry.

I'm lonely alot and get bored also, and use food to fill the time, which I need to stop (trying to fill with a couple of hours of exercise)... I'm a bit hesitant to try any antidepressants since some cause weight gain. But you know exercise is supposed to be a natural antidepressant..

Have you tried workout DVDs? Sometimes the instructors in them help motivate you.
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Old 04-02-2009, 09:35 PM   #4
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Squishy, are you seeing a therapist at all? The thing that strikes me is that you suffer with depression AND you have no friends outside of your relationship with your boyfriend. As much as you may love your guy, let's face it, you can't tell him everything. As with every relationship, there are probably things about him that bug you. That's a hard thing to discuss! Plus, males and females think differently and there may be things that are important to you that he just doesn't get. You really need someone to talk to about ANYTHING, who won't judge you, and who will guide you. Colleges have counselors on staff. If you don't already have a therapist, you really should look into it. It's hard to feel motivated to do the right thing concerning your weight when depression causes apathy in general. Exercise does help, but as you are experiencing, motivation is difficult. I hope you seek help from a counselor if you haven't already; you need someone to talk to about your deepest feelings. I wish you the very best!
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Old 04-02-2009, 10:11 PM   #5
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I'm sorry you're so unhappy and having such a hard time. Graduating from college can be a difficult time-- it's a big transition. You may want to see a counselor about your depression and isolation. That's intricately tied in to weight loss and eating too.

I don't think you can depend much on motivation. As you've said it usually wanes pretty quickly. I think a better approach is to make a commitment to specific action you will take, and it's very important that your willing to do what you commit to. Ask yourself, what permanent changes am I willing to make? Small changes you're willing to carry out will benefit you much more than grand plans you don't act on.

Are you willing to exercise 20 minutes a day?
Are you willing to eat a bit less?

Whatever it is, it's got to be something you're willing to live with forever, otherwise you'll throw in the towel.
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Old 04-04-2009, 04:49 PM   #6
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Thank you all for your responses..

I do have a therapist and have done counselling. Right now though I'm at a point where I've talked everything all out, it's just a matter of making things happen.
I have been doing well since I first posted. I walked that day, yesterday, and after this I'm going to walk and use my exercise bike. I use Leslie Sansone's DVDs for walking. They're how I lost weight before and I really like them. I have the 1, 2, 3, and 4 WATP Express DVDs. Last time I was up to doing the 3 mile regularly and the 4 mile occasionally. I'm ready to work my way back up to that!
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Old 04-04-2009, 06:23 PM   #7
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You sound SO much like me when I was in college. My heart goes out to you, because I wish I could go back and tell myself that everything is going to be all right. That I needed to accept myself before I could ever feel happy. That everyone isn't judging me all the time. That I needn't be afraid of people not liking me all the time. That I could achieve whatever I tried and set my mind to.

As far as food versus exercise, exercise is important, but food is 85-90% of it, in my opinion. If exercise alone did it, I'd be 130 pounds by now. You can easily wipe out a 30 or 60 minute walk in just a few minutes of eating junk food.

Embrace yourself and life, and the rest will follow. You can do that, you just need to believe you can.
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Old 04-04-2009, 06:51 PM   #8
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I'm glad to see your update - stick with your exercising! Is it making you feel better? I know when I am in a depressed funk, it's SO hard to start exercising again, but after a few days it really helps me feel better.

Best to you - you can make it happen! =)
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