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Old 03-27-2009, 02:10 PM   #1
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Default Dealing with the weekend

As part of my WL plan, I've charted a table with my mini-goals:
I broke down my loss into 10 lb. chunks and I get to mark down when I reach those goals. To support me, my DH decided to add some financial reward for me to get every time I reach my next mini-goal. Later on, he also added a bonus for me to get something extra if I managed to lose by a certain date (to give me extra incentive).

I am so close to getting to my 3rd mini-goal of 30 lbs. I had a so-so couple of weeks which led me to challenge myself to string as many POP days as I could (and hopefully to get to my mini-goal by March 31st). I've been at it since Monday, but I always have problems during the weekend. I seem to lose the structure and schedule I have during the week and I tend to go off-plan. It's not that I throw everything out the window or anything, but I definitely get more tempted to eat out or if we're visiting somebody, to eat whatever is around.

Do any of you have any ideas or suggestions on how to avoid going off-plan during the weekends when confronted by temptation?
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Old 03-27-2009, 03:06 PM   #2
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I treat the weekend like any other day. I plan meals and stick to the plan. If I go out to a restaurant, I look up the menu online and make healthy choices before I get there (I also special order like crazy - no sauce, double veggies, no butter, dressing on the side, etc etc). If I were going to a friend's house (and after four years, that's still tough for me) I would volunteer to bring a large wonderful green salad and make sure at least half my plate was salad.
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Old 03-27-2009, 03:23 PM   #3
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Thanks Glory!
I have to say, if I know I am going to a restaurant ahead of time and I can plan what I have is not that difficult (I can mentally prepare myself for it and be ready once I walk in through the door)
My main issue is when being at friends/relatives places. I have been conditioned to equate food with love so I find it very hard to say no to things that are being offered when they are home made as I feel like I am disappointing the person who made them and I feel guilty for "snubbing" their food. Problem is, a lot of the time is not-so-healthy stuff and then I feel bad for eating it too.
I could bring my own food and I do when visiting my MIL, but at other times I just feel it's not appropriate.
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Old 03-27-2009, 03:25 PM   #4
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Weekends are rough. I try to establish a schedule for myself on the weekend, even if it is different than the one I use during the week. For example, on a weekday, I'll eat VERY regularly...breakfast, lunch, dinner, plus multiple snacks throughout the day. Each of those is an approximate amount of calories that doesn't vary so much (Breakfast is 200, Lunch and Dinner are 400, snacks are 100-150).

The weekends are a very different schedule, but still come out to the same total calories. So, for example, my weekends are usually Brunch 300-400 calories, Snack 200-250 calories, Dinner 600 calories, and then usually another 200 calorie snack. It's still the same total calories, but distributed differently to account for the fact that on weekends, I want a little more leeway with my dinners and don't really need as many snacks during the day.

I find that if weekends have NO structure, I go off. It's only when I give them a structure, albeit a different one, that I do well.
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Old 03-27-2009, 03:39 PM   #5
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I am a snacker and when I do, I get something that's not horrible in calories or fat and then share them with my kids. That way, it is split 3 ways and possibly 4 when their daddy comes and steals some.

If I know I am going to eat kind of bad, I eat really healthy all time around it to not waste the whole day. You can always exercise a little bit extra to make up for it
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Old 03-27-2009, 03:48 PM   #6
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I think weekends are the hardest time for me as well because that is the only time that I really go out with friends and family. I think the best advice that anyone could give is plan ahead, even for Saturday and Sunday. If you know you're likely to snack or go out to dinner, then plan those snacks and meals ahead of time. I've also found that writing my food down before I eat it helps me stay where I need to be for the day. Good luck and I hope you make it to your next goal very soon!!
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Old 03-27-2009, 03:49 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Newshinyme View Post
Thanks Glory!
I have to say, if I know I am going to a restaurant ahead of time and I can plan what I have is not that difficult (I can mentally prepare myself for it and be ready once I walk in through the door)
My main issue is when being at friends/relatives places. I have been conditioned to equate food with love so I find it very hard to say no to things that are being offered when they are home made as I feel like I am disappointing the person who made them and I feel guilty for "snubbing" their food. Problem is, a lot of the time is not-so-healthy stuff and then I feel bad for eating it too.
I could bring my own food and I do when visiting my MIL, but at other times I just feel it's not appropriate.
When I changed my life back in July 2004, I came up with a set of rules/guidelines to help me (they kind of evolved over a few months). One of my rules, which I still stick to today is: Permission to be a b-i-t-c-h about food.

Now, I don't mean a LITERAL *****, but I mean giving myself permission to throw off my lifetime of conditioning to BE NICE and say YES when I don't want to say YES. Friends from work want to go out to eat pizza for lunch - it's so easy to say yes, to be sociable, to "bless" their choices - I answer no, I don't eat pizza (or very very very rarely, anyway).

Someone at work starts pressing birthday cake on me "have a piece of cake, it's Lois' birthday!" "no thanks, I don't want any cake." "oh comeon, it's CAKE! How can you say no to CAKE!" "No, I really don't want any!" GRRRR. I have given my permission to stick to my guns and if they keep pushing, I get less nice.

Today is a wonderful example. My coworkers have decided it is Pop Tart Friday. Seriously. There are at least 5 huge boxes of Pop Tarts about 5 feet from my desk. I work in a cubefarm and they have been talking nonstop for hours (offering everyone that walks by a "Pop Tart Friday" in a chirpy voice) about Strawberry frosted vs unfrosted, Cinnamon, "why isn't there any blueberry?" yadda yadda. They offered me a Pop Tart, what I'm thinking is 200 calories for a transfat sugar nightmare? But I did not snub their food, I just said "no thanks, I already ate breakfast this morning!"

It gets tougher with friends and family because of all the reasons you mentioned (food is love, food is acceptance, food is companionship, food is a good time) but you really have to ask yourself - what is love, what is companionship, what is acceptance. Being at a healthy weight - putting YOU first, living a healthy life, being around longer for your family - that is love. And if they love you, they will understand, or you have to try to make them understand.

Homemade baked goods are just food. They either fit into your plans or they don't. They have a lot of calories, so it makes a difference. We are taught from childhood that we have to accept a home made baked good. No, you don't, the person will be just fine, really. You could say something like "wow, your banana bread is always so delicious, you are an amazing baker. It's so hard for me to say no right now because I love your baking! I am going to have to say no today - I am working toward a goal." That should be enough "wow, I appreciate you" to make up for the "no, I am not eating that."

Of course, that doesn't mean you never get to eat Aunt Helen's delicious maple sweet potatoes at Thanksgiving anymore. But YOU make the decision of what food is worth it and what isn't. Bringing your own healthy dish is a perfectly reasonable compromise (and you can always ask in advance, what host/hostess wouldn't say yes? what if you were a vegan? what if you had terrible food allergies?). Eat mostly salad/or your healthy side dish (and make it yummy) and a TASTE of the delicious foods that remind you of love and home. Make a ONE PLATE rule and stick to it.
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Old 03-27-2009, 03:54 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Newshinyme View Post
Thanks Glory!
I have to say, if I know I am going to a restaurant ahead of time and I can plan what I have is not that difficult (I can mentally prepare myself for it and be ready once I walk in through the door)
My main issue is when being at friends/relatives places. I have been conditioned to equate food with love so I find it very hard to say no to things that are being offered when they are home made as I feel like I am disappointing the person who made them and I feel guilty for "snubbing" their food. Problem is, a lot of the time is not-so-healthy stuff and then I feel bad for eating it too.
I could bring my own food and I do when visiting my MIL, but at other times I just feel it's not appropriate.

I guess that if you really want this time to be different, and really want to succeed and keep the weight off you are just going to have to change this mind set. Seriously, food does not equal love and you know it, and your hostess knows it. I firmly believe that if you know someone well enough to be invited over to their house for a meal, then you should know them well enough to explain your diet/health situation. I LOVE to cook, I also LOVE to entertain, but even at my largest weight, if I had a dinner guest that I knew was "dieting" I would make several lower calorie dishes. Now, if invited to a friends house or other social gatherings I also make a fruit and /or veggie plate and some sort of delicious low calorie dessert. I rarely take anything home. People really do like healthy food. Never has anyone ever been insulted when I bring healthy food. It is totally appropriate to bring a dish...and it is totally appropriate to turn down a dish. What if you had a severe allergic reaction to nuts...do you think the hostess would expect you to eat something that contained them??

You are doing an EXCELLENT job right now. No friend will think you are rude for turning down a double-chocolate- fudge-covered- nut whatchamacallit. Trust me...it's all in your head.
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Old 03-27-2009, 06:21 PM   #9
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I knew the only way that I "would do it this time", is if I actually included the weekends as part of my healthy lifestyle. Even one day of "off" eating can and will without a doubt erase all the other days good eating.

So though they ARE harder, I plan them out all the same. Probably even more so.

I make my plan and I STICK to it, although it is a bit different then the other days of the week. I eat more fruit. I have a bit larger dinner. Like Mandalinn, I shift my calories around to accomodate the different schedule.

And I do find that most places (friends homes) DO have health-ier options. I also finally discovered that just because there's something "there" doesn't mean that I HAVE TO EAT IT. This was a HUGE realization for me. I can socialize, chat, laugh and have fun without going off plan. I don't let my commitment to a healthy lifestyle fly out the window just because there's tempting food in front of me. I think of my longterm goals/wishes/dreams/hopes/desires instead of my short term gratification.

Besides, now that I'm fit and trim - socializing is really FUN!!! I wear great clothing, "fit" in tight spaces, don't have to worry about ruining anyone's furniture and am incredibly confident and light hearted.

Oh, and socializing is a great time to indulge in diet soda and/or seltzer.
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Old 03-28-2009, 06:31 AM   #10
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*One tip... if you go out to eat unexpectedly, and already used up a lot of your daily caloric intake on meals eaten earlier in the day... eat a vegan/vegetarian meal (i.e. salad with dressing on the side or grilled veggies without butter, etc).

Everyone else has given you great advice here! Keep going, you can do it!

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Old 03-29-2009, 02:50 AM   #11
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I am actually going to print this thread and put it next to my goal chart for inspiration
A lot of these posts are very empowering to me and I need to keep them in mind from now on if I want this to be a permanent change in the way I eat.

Thank you!
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Old 03-29-2009, 03:20 AM   #12
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ruin your appetite before you go out w/ a healthy filling snack- that way you will make smart food choices and not be starving and tempted.

homemade treats: ask your host to wrap one up for you to take home. You don't have to eat it but it'll make them feel good.

*** for those who are pretty in control try tasting everything but finishing nothing- like tonight when I was out I ordered an appetiser as a meal, tasted the bread, tasted my friends meals and ate less than 1/2 my app and had 3 bites of choc cake. You can only do this when you feel in control though
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